"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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disrespect vs. settling into a long relationship

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steve12b

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Does anyone have any good links to UNIQUE ways of differentiating disrespect from the normal response of withdrawing slightly after an entire year of dating?

I've been with my gf over a year, and very gradually she has begun seeing her friends and fam more and more often. She still sees me a lot, but obviously I'd like to see her more often like we used to (we actually "love" eachother and get along great). I also need some advice on how to enforce rules such as she must have sex 4 days a week, and that if she makes plans she stick to them regardless. An example would be she tells me she's going shopping with her sister who will be moving away soon and will be home in 2 hours, but stays out for 4 hours. I obviously want her to be with her sis who she won't see again for years, but I also want her to be responsive to me as well. What are some ways to lay down the law without being needy or disrespecful. Please don't tell me to spin other plates. Flirting with other girls is pushing it for me, I'm better than that.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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SunnyD

Senior Don Juan
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steve12b said:
Does anyone have any good links to UNIQUE ways of differentiating disrespect from the normal response of withdrawing slightly after an entire year of dating?

I've been with my gf over a year, and very gradually she has begun seeing her friends and fam more and more often. She still sees me a lot, but obviously I'd like to see her more often like we used to (we actually "love" eachother and get along great). I also need some advice on how to enforce rules such as she must have sex 4 days a week, and that if she makes plans she stick to them regardless. An example would be she tells me she's going shopping with her sister who will be moving away soon and will be home in 2 hours, but stays out for 4 hours. I obviously want her to be with her sis who she won't see again for years, but I also want her to be responsive to me as well. What are some ways to lay down the law without being needy or disrespecful. Please don't tell me to spin other plates. Flirting with other girls is pushing it for me, I'm better than that.
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How about...you go out and do your own thing and have a life of your own too.....?????????? Don't be so dependent and needy.

Geesh. *shakes head*
 
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SmoothTalker

Master Don Juan
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Yeah loosen up a bit man. If she goes out with her sister and takes twice as long, well it happens. Have you never gone out with buddies and came back later than expected?
 
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DannykDJ

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I can tell you right now that you are going down a bad path.

You are looking for disrespect so of course you are going to find disrespect.

A lot of people get so obsessed with making other people respect them that they forget to respect others.

Are you actually asking advice on how to force a woman to have sex with you at least 4 days a week? Get a clue dude. I am not a woman but if I was I would drop a guy who tried to make a rule like that. My advice is to drop this and instead focus on turning her on so that she wants to have sex 4 days a week.

So she stayed out with her sister WHO IS MOVING AWAY AND SHE WILL NOT SEE FOR YEARS a little longer than expected. Did you and her make specific plans for after she was finished with her sister? That would be disrespectful if you two made plans and she hadn't called to inform you she was gonna be late. Regardless I think you could have let that go considering the circumstances.

You need to relax and go with the flow. You already sound needy and controlling. Do your own thing and let her come to you. There is a chance she is doing this because you are showing her how needy you are and it's pushing her away.
 
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