"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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disproportionate growth

6-heads lewis

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my back is growing at a much faster rate than my chest, which grows at a snails pace.

the other dya i deadlifted 215 for 5 reps pretty easily, im guessing i can do about 275, this coming from a 150lb beginner whose done deads around 6x in my life. i used to do stiff-legged deads, and had an even easier time with 215.

my bench press if girlish. i do it with dujmbbells (socially inept, no spotter lol), and havent been able to do 5 reps with any more than 55 right hand, 50 left hand. worse yet, my left pec never seem to burn or tire, i just cant do anymore at some point, while the right pec feels like its about snap the whole time. my standing military press max for 5 reps is around 80. i got stuck under a flat bench barbell at 140lbs (ugh). my shoulder and chest have barely improved since i started training them months ago. it didnt change at all during a 3-week injury break.

when i try and stand up straight, my sohulders are pulled towards my disproportionately huge back. from the front i look 100lbs, all my shirts fit me loose in the front and sides yet skin tight in the back. ive started to walk like a gorilla you know the type, head slinked down with eyes up, arms sticking out and dangling akwardly, mild forward hunch.

for years all i really did was weighted pullups, especially wide grip, along heavy bag work, thats probably why.

any advice? this is very frustrating and discouraging.

thanks
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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DXX

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cut out all back work. Use 50lbs dumbbells for bench

good luck
 

Throttle

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rotfl... that's great advice. make sure you listen to him.

your next to last line nailed it. you've never really worked your back like this, so you're making huge gains in the beginning. if you've done deads 6x in your life, your problem isn't that your back is growing too fast. it's that your expectations are out of whack.

standing like a gorilla comes from bad posture. stand tall. it has absolutely nothing to do with your muscles being out of proportion.

you probably will have to buy new clothes as you adjust to this.

or take dxx's advice, it's priceless.
 

mrRuckus

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Just keep doing compound lifts. You have to build the house before you decorate the house. Everything will end up evening out more or less. Definitely don't stop doing back stuff.

Adequate rest. More food. You're no where near big enough to worry about weak parts.
 

dirtyvibe

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i suggest bicep curls in the squat rack
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Teflon_Mcgee

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6-heads lewis said:
my back is growing at a much faster rate than my chest, which grows at a snails pace.

the other dya i deadlifted 215 for 5 reps pretty easily, im guessing i can do about 275, this coming from a 150lb beginner whose done deads around 6x in my life. i used to do stiff-legged deads, and had an even easier time with 215.

my bench press if girlish. i do it with dujmbbells (socially inept, no spotter lol), and havent been able to do 5 reps with any more than 55 right hand, 50 left hand. worse yet, my left pec never seem to burn or tire, i just cant do anymore at some point, while the right pec feels like its about snap the whole time. my standing military press max for 5 reps is around 80. i got stuck under a flat bench barbell at 140lbs (ugh). my shoulder and chest have barely improved since i started training them months ago. it didnt change at all during a 3-week injury break.

when i try and stand up straight, my sohulders are pulled towards my disproportionately huge back. from the front i look 100lbs, all my shirts fit me loose in the front and sides yet skin tight in the back. ive started to walk like a gorilla you know the type, head slinked down with eyes up, arms sticking out and dangling akwardly, mild forward hunch.

for years all i really did was weighted pullups, especially wide grip, along heavy bag work, thats probably why.

any advice? this is very frustrating and discouraging.

thanks
You're back will def. get size and strength from weighted (wide grip) pull-ups. It's one of the the best things you can do.

As for your pecs. When you lift I bet you are just going through the motions (IOW, you are doing junk reps.) Next time you're doing DB benchpress go slow and really focus on feeling/using just your pec muscles. Also keep them contracted as you go through the movement.

Building the mind-body connection is just as, or even more, important as actually lifting the weight.
 

6-heads lewis

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Throttle said:
standing like a gorilla comes from bad posture. stand tall. it has absolutely nothing to do with your muscles being out of proportion
lol thats good to know... i am a very neutoric guy, its all in my head i guess.

and telfon you're actually right about chest press form. ive been doing some research on it and my form has been off, elbows too wide and far and excess shoulder use. my shoulders often feel as sore as my chest or even more so, and i could be overtraining them when i shoulder press 2 days later as per Rippetoe.

appreciate the comments.
 

DXX

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what was wrong with my advice. Cutting out back work until the rest catches up is fine

also, using 55 for right arm and 50 for left isn't good. keep it equal
 
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