displaying higher values online ( without a phyiscal medium)

[Latinoman]

appasionata...if you feel your relationship is not fullfilling you...why be in that relationship? I mean...you are away from each other already and don't see each other at all.

Why not start fresh?

Go out there and meet people...socialize more. Are you in Italy or are you in the U.S.? I can tell English is not your first language.

 

[appasionata]

I am not going to do the dirty job for you.

Please don't.

 

[appasionata]

appasionata...if you feel your relationship is not fullfilling you...why be in that relationship? I mean...you are away from each other already and don't see each other at all.

Why not start fresh?

Go out there and meet people...socialize more. Are you in Italy or are you in the U.S.? I can tell English is not your first language.

Lol. Have you ever heard of Ludwig van ? 'Appasionata' is a classical piece and it has nothing to do with Italy.

You should go read some wikipedia before you really make these clever conjectures.

I can tell classical music is not an area you are particularly good at.

 

[Latinoman]

So you think it is smart to pursue relationships at work? Are you willing to risk your career and professional wellbeing just because of woman? Just a question.

 

[appasionata]

So you think it is smart to pursue relationships at work? Are you willing to risk your career and professional wellbeing just because of woman? Just a question.

I am sure that having posted about 4000 messages here makes you a very experienced guy ( plus your age )

But I really can't help wondering this: Given no information about my workplace whatsoever, how can you really think that I am in a position tthat would risk my wellbeing ?

I am a post-doc student and I am in a university environment. Things are much more flexible here.

 

[Latinoman]

Lol. Have you ever heard of Ludwig van ? 'Appasionata' is a classical piece and it has nothing to do with Italy.

You should go read some wikipedia before you really make these clever conjectures.

I can tell classical music is not an area you are particularly good at.

Actually...the reason I asked if you were Italian is because of the way you write. Re-read your original thread. It is obvious to me that your first language is NOT English. My guess is either Italian, Spanish, or Portuguese.

Before you make another stupid assumption let me clarify to you that I don't have to read "Wikipedia" for nothing. One of my children is a violinist. That's why I asked you if you were a FEMALE.

I suggest your understand the "emotional" nature of women vs. that of men. And then listen to your Appasionata and come back here again (perhaps even reconsider changing that name too).

 

[Latinoman]

I am sure that having posted about 4000 messages here makes you a very experienced guy ( plus your age )

But I really can't help wondering this: Given no information about my workplace whatsoever, how can you really think that I am in a position tthat would risk my wellbeing ?

I am a post-doc student and I am in a university environment. Things are much more flexible here.

Okay...let's start things again by bringing some honesty. No justifications...just honesty.

What do you want? Do you want to cheat? If that is what you want...then be straight forward and post that question.

I am NOT going to judge you. It is your issue. But one thing I am going to advice...there is NOT such a thing as "on-line" relationships. Don't waste your time with that stuff. Go out there and meet women.

 

[appasionata]

Actually...the reason I asked if you were Italian is because of the way you write. Re-read your original thread. It is obvious to me that your first language is NOT English. My guess is either Italian, Spanish, or Portuguese.

Before you make another stupid assumption let me clarify to you that I don't have to read "Wikipedia" for nothing. One of my children is a violinist. That's why I asked you if you were a FEMALE.

I suggest your understand the "emotional" nature of women vs. that of men. And then listen to your Appasionata and come back here again (perhaps even reconsider changing that name too).

Some guy here posted the other day some thing like this: Men are so obsessed with sex and women, that really a few of them have a wide range of interests other than women. He's right.

So could you tell me the connection between your daughter's being a musician and my nick being appa ?

I think you should stop your stupid assumptions.

I am not seeking exclusively "your" view on the "emotional" nature of women.

I doubt you know what you mean by that, but that's another discussion and I am really not interested.

 

[Latinoman]

Some guy here posted the other day some thing like this: Men are so obsessed with sex and women, that really a few of them have a wide range of interests other than women. He's right.

What that has to do with your situation?

So could you tell me the connection between your daughter's being a musician and my nick being appa ?

My point is that I have been exposed to classical music (a lot more than I would like). I also live in a huge city where this is not a foreign concept.

I am not seeking exclusively "your" view on the "emotional" nature of women.

I doubt you know what you mean by that, but that's another discussion and I am really not interested.

Go read The Bible. Read that FIRST and then ask your questions.

 

[appasionata]

Okay...let's start things again by bringing some honesty. No justifications...just honesty.

What do you want? Do you want to cheat? If that is what you want...then be straight forward and post that question.

I am NOT going to judge you. It is your issue. But one thing I am going to advice...there is NOT such a thing as "on-line" relationships. Don't waste your time with that stuff. Go out there and meet women.

You can judge me. I simply won't care. The definition of "cheat" also depends on the way you look at it. Why would I ask YOUR opinion if I was planning to cheat?

I didn't say anything about online relationships. I have suggested that as a means of establishing a communication or a possible date with a woman.

I'll surely go out and meet with these women. As I said, please don't divert the thread before actually reading what I write instead of checking for typos or writing style.

You are not a detective, you don't have to be. I am just another guy, stop being paranoid

 

[Latinoman]

You can judge me. I simply won't care. The definition of "cheat" also depends on the way you look at it. Why would I ask YOUR opinion if I was planning to cheat?

I didn't say anything about online relationships. I have suggested that as a means of establishing a communication or a possible date with a woman.

I'll surely go out and meet with these women. As I said, please don't divert the thread before actually reading what I write instead of checking for typos or writing style.

You are not a detective, you don't have to be. I am just another guy, stop being paranoid

Listen...if you want to establish communication with a woman...do that in person. Go read The DJ Bible.

And if you are doing "Post-Grad" studies as you claimed...for your sake I hope English is your SECOND language.

 

[appasionata]

What that has to do with your situation?

That is a good example of your views on classical music and its connection between men and women. If you are not getting this, I really can't say anything else

 

[Latinoman]

I am an atheist. I won't spend time on reading the bible or any other religious book.

If this is your forum and you have the right to dismiss people,

then let me know and I 'll leave.

Listen... go here The DJ Bible. The DJ Bible is not a RELIGIOUS book...see the link at the bottom of the thread or hit that link I just posted.

 

[Latinoman]

By the way...welcome to the Forum.

 

[appasionata]

By the way...welcome to the Forum.

It was a rough test.

Yes english is not my first language.


I briefly read the bible before, I don't think my question was obviously wrong.

IT is still a relevant question

 

[jophil28]

I didn't say I am trying to pick up women. I am trying to get myself convinced that my LTR is not my only option and the only way I can do it is by spinning more plates.

In order to meet with women who are not very much familiar with you in the beginning you have to initiate some contact - by calling or communicating.

and that by itself damages your image -

that was the question

I think that I understand what you are saying - however, this post contains a new twist and I need to get into your thinking a lot more.

Lets explore some of your words for meaning -

For you to be in the mindset of trying to "get myself convinced that my LTR is not my only option" would suggest that either you are getting ready to bail out of your LTR OR you perhaps you are somewhat uphappy or unfulfilled in your current relationship and want to explore other "options" in order to draw comparisons - and THEN decide whether you want to stay or break up.
Am I on the right train here ?

Secondly I get the impression that you have bought into the belief that creating "mystery and intrigue" is SO valuable in creating attaction, and that you have assumed that meeting these women will "pop the balloon" and you will wreck you "connection" with them .. ?

 

[appasionata]

I think that I understand what you are saying - however, this post contains a new twist and I need to get into your thinking a lot more.

Lets explore some of your words for meaning -

For you to be in the mindset of trying to "get myself convinced that my LTR is not my only option" would suggest that either you are getting ready to bail out of your LTR OR you perhaps you are somewhat uphappy or unfulfilled in your current relationship and want to explore other "options" in order to draw comparisons - and THEN decide whether you want to stay or break up.
Am I on the right train here ?

Secondly I get the impression that you have bought into the belief that creating "mystery and intrigue" is SO valuable in creating attaction, and that you have assumed that meeting these women will "pop the balloon" and you will wreck you "connection" with them .. ?

I was really hoping you would reply to my thread. I am so happy I got your attention. I am a big admirer. People are so aggressive here ( maybe it's because the place is full of men ) it's really hard to get into a conversation before they kill you with the questions/assumptions.

You are definitely on the right train...! I feel that my LTR is going very well, but I don't have any other data to make a justifiable comparison. That hurts me. I really think my current GF has a lot of distinctive quailities, but I still wnat to meet with other's to confirm that.
Thank you very much for making that clear. I guess I wasn't sure what I was looking for. But yes, that's EXACTLY my problem.

The second thing, I think you are right. I bought into this idea that even making a small effort will pop the balloon. Is that a wrong approach ? I am so focused on this be mysterious/cool and don't be an AFC thing that I can't really proceed.

Amazing metaphors.

Thanks a lot jophil !

 

[Latinoman]

I was agreesive because I wanted you to frame the question a little better. That's all.

 

[jophil28]

The second thing, I think you are right. I bought into this idea that even making a small effort will pop the balloon. Is that a wrong approach ?
!

"Wrong " , perhaps - but UNTRUE is a better word . It is untrue because women want, and like, and are attracted to men who practise forward "self propulsion ".. men who are confident and "ballsy" enough to go after what they want, and MOST women WANT TO BE WHAT YOU WANT.

THere comes a time when the initial banter and the C&F has done its job and it is time to mobilise yourself AND her ...to plan and suggest a date or just a coffee meet.
Of course this moment ,when you attempt the first meeting can be nerve wracking for someone who is out of practise, because you are anticipating the possibility of rejection. Well let me tell you -avoiding this moment will never get you what you are looking for.
THere is that moment when you just have to "go for it" and take the associated risk.
However, to the bold belong the rewards.

 

[appasionata]

"Wrong " , perhaps - but UNTRUE is a better word . It is untrue because women want, and like, and are attracted to men who practise forward "self propulsion ".. men who are confident and "ballsy" enough to go after what they want, and MOST women WANT TO BE WHAT YOU WANT.

THere comes a time when the initial banter and the C&F has done its job and it is time to mobilise yourself AND her ...to plan and suggest a date or just a coffee meet.
Of course this moment ,when you attempt the first meeting can be nerve wracking for someone who is out of practise, because you are anticipating the possibility of rejection. Well let me tell you -avoiding this moment will never get you what you are looking for.
THere is that moment when you just have to "go for it" and take the associated risk.
However, to the bold belong the rewards.

I think I can vaguely "see" what you are describing by that. They really seem to enjoy qualifying your requirements.

I had a lot of progress with one of the ladies and we're planning to do some activities, the first one is to go shopping to buy me a decent bass guitar ( she's also playing some instruments)

I will quickly mobilize this relationship - and even if I get rejected at a point, I believe I have a thick skin.