Discussion: Sexy

[Cloud-uk]

What truth is there in saying that to really be a legend at the game you have to be sexy?

This is just a thought I've had about how I can improve myself, perhaps it'll help some other people too.

It recently dawned on me that you can improve yourself huge amounts, do everything it says here, and not be what I like to call "sexy". Let me elaborate...

Little Mr. AFC comes here, reads all the stuff and motivates himself to become a better person, in order to get the much sought after sex with some bird he desperately seeks. However, as little Mr. AFC does weights, becomes more confident, and enjoys his life more he thinks less about girls. Why? Because they're a trivial point, "a mere drug" when compared to the blissful joy of being able to control and enjoy your life.

But does this make him a player? Simply by having the attributes of being confident, looking good, and being a challenge to girls does he become sexy?

For a long time I've felt that there was something I still needed to do before I would be really good- legendary- with girls. I've asked a lot of questions to other people on this board- if they act nice or player-like to girls, if they act hyper, quiet, mysterious, playful most of the time. I guess I was trying to find the last piece of this part of the puzzle without knowing what on earth I was looking for.

Sure, maybe I'm over analysing, maybe I'm taking a step back with this question, but in my opinion there's a lot to be said for being straight off "James Bond" sexy, and that lot isn't said enough.

Someone recently said in a post "One guy can make all the girlscrack up laughing, but in the end they'll be ****ing the quieter sexy guy". I'm still undecided, and perhaps this is all said when newbies are urged to change their posture, their voice, and their bad habits. Perhaps I've managed to change myself leaps and bounds on the inside, but I just need to make it show more on the outside. Perhaps I just refuse to accept that I'm not always going to be the best at everything. I'm half expecting someoone to say "mmm, being sexy attracts girls?- duh." Whatever my personal reasons, I'm still going to focus on this for a bit.

So, what are your thoughts on any of this?

 

[California Love]

edit - double posted

 

[California Love]

I'm the one who said that, and here's why I flow by that.


You can do everything to improve your player-like attributes, but to what end? Girls don't ALL love the player- each one wants something different from a man. An outspoken DJ might attract one type of girl and not another. It all comes down to what kind of girls you want.

Do you want the kind that regularly plays guys?
Or, do you want the more quiet girl, who you know will treat you well and respect you?

Do you want her to play you daily?
Or, do you want her to be truthful in most things she says to you?


This is the problem DJ's encounter. You're trying to fill the gaps and attract EVERY hot girl. By doing this, you'll end up with women unsuited to your type, and clearly not a good match for you.

The ONLY way you can attract every hot girl is if YOU are hot. Plain and simple. and...Even if you get all the girls...how far can you go with each? Maybe a quick bang here and there.



The conclusion...

By trying to change your character too much, you start attracting women not suited for you.

In the end, better looking guys get the girls with much less effort.


DJing isnt hopeless tho. I totally agree with the principles such as increasing your confidence, approaching selected women, and not falling in love too easily. I also see many average guys going out with some smokin babes. Its just that they have to work much harder for what they get.

 

[LikRetsam]

You will be attracting more women when you don't care wether you're attracting women

Pook

It all has to do with your relations with the girls in question. If she's sexually attracted to you, if you know her for a long time etc.

Different girls want different men. I personnaly do not act/dress sexy. I am more cheerful, more outgoing. I enter a room and make everyone happy. That makes certain girls attracted to me. The ones I too am interrested in.

It all depends on who you want to be. I am who I want to be, I am happy.

A legend at the game? it won't happen. Why? Because one would right away go for the James Bond figure. All the women and all the money. That doesn't work cause some girls are put off by an attitude like that, the I don't give a **** I can get anyone I want.

You can never get them all .

Lik

 

[Cloud-uk]

Very interesting replies, I'll deal with each separately.

California Love: I totally see where you're coming from. However, in my opinion, a guy doesn't have to look "hot" as long as he is sexy, though perhaps being hot is part of being sexy. A lot of the stuff I read first from this site, a lot of David's stuff drilled it into me pretty hard that a guy can get any girl just as long as he's average looking. I'm sure its in something he wrote, but girls are attracted to different things to guys. Whereas guys thrive on testosterone, girls are addicts to emotion. Needless to say, I'm quite keen on "The Tao of Steve"

Simply put, girls view looks as being 3rd or 4th on "the ladder of ****ability". The attraction of girls goes up and down like a dial, in guys its like a light switch. Thinking about it, attraction is something that never seems to get talked about around here, yet is something he and other "dating experts" go on and on about. I don't live by their words, but I can't help feeling that its been left out. Basicly, because girl's attraction goes up and down gradually, they take personality, charisma etc far more importantly than guys. Think about it- you see a girl at a club, she's either yes or no. When a girl sees a guy its more like probably or probably not. Sure, looking good helps a bunch, but its by no means the end all in pulling stakes.

I don't agree that the only way that you can pull all hot girls is if you are mind blowingly good looking yourself. I don't know if you're suggesting this, but I also don't believe a less good looking guy will always be worse with girls than a good looking guy.

Heh heh , I bet you all think I'm hideously ugly or something- pah! I'm the best looking guy I know, and I'm modest ...

Regardless, physical attractiveness is just an attribute, one that can be improved, and in my opinion is overated and highly subjective.

LikRetsam :

A legend at the game? it won't happen. Why? Because one would right away go for the James Bond figure. All the women and all the money. That doesn't work cause some girls are put off by an attitude like that, the I don't give a **** I can get anyone I want.

Heh heh, if you can get anyone you want you're a legend in my books, but that wont happen, but it has and argh! lol, I'm not hateing mate, its just that that bit seemed a bit circular.

I think I get what you're saying though, if you don't care you'll get more girls, some girls don't like James Bond, being happy is your main concern etc.

That's the thing though, I am happy, but I'm not content. I doubt I ever will be, until I've seen every corner of the earth, tasted every dish, trancended the mortal plains of existance and ****ed Japanese DD twins. To me, asking this question is like asking for a tip on cookery. Useful, makes me happy, improves me as a person but then again its not mind blowingly special.

Regardless, I'm still pushing forward with this idea. To be a legend you don't have to get them all, hell you don't even have to get half! Its how you do it that matters, and I just plan to make myself an even more attractive member of the human race, in exactly the same way I've made myself stronger, wiser, and above all happier!

Move views would be great!

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Alright here's my take on the situation:
Sexy: This is someone who makes you think about sex based upon his demeanour. Everyone has their own slightly altered take on what is "sexy" but we all have the same basic one. I think it is an instinctive primative part of us based on survival. For girls to be sexy (in a unintentional way), most guys agree that they'd have to be hot, emit a innocence but at the same time a mysteriousness. For a guy to be sexy, I think that he has to play out his role as the dominant male in his social circle. He goes about his business and socialize when he wants. That quiet guy that screws the chick probably doesn't talk a lot granted, but he has that 'aura' around him that everyone notices when he enters a room.

Think about it this way, when you think someone is being sexy they can be:
-giving seductive EC
- putting moves on someone
-doing extraordinary things nonchalantly

I can't think of anything else right now, but you get the idea. All of them can be traced towards a alpha showing confidence in his surroundings, and getting what he wants. he doesn't try as hard as that person who makes all the jokes, because he isn't trying to please others, he is TRYING TO PLEASE HIMSELF.

 

[ShizamDaMan]

Sexy is a subjective term, but I think it has more to do with your attitude and charisma rather than physical appearance. You're right Cloud, by becoming a better person you do indeed become sexy. Hot is the term for physical appearance, but sexy is the entire package.

One time I was told by a girl that I was very attractive. I wasn't as DJ back then, so immediately I said "Oh yeah, I am hot aren't I?" She replied, "Not hot, but attractive. There's a difference." It really made me think. Now I am not a bad looking guy, but I am no GQ model. I am however attractive due to my attitude and the aura I project. When a man is sexy, he is very attractive, but isn't necessarily hot. Being hot helps, but is not a requirement of being sexy.

Having said that, anyone can become sexy and attractive. It's all about how dedicated you want to be to become sexy.