Disconnected from reality/unable to form intimate relationships. Need help.

[Ronny_Neumonic II]

Since I've been about 14/15, I've just been unable to form intimate relationships with people. From girls to guys, it doesn't make a difference. I'm not sure if it's actually something to do with me, or if everyone just starts to keep certain things to themselves once they get old enough.

I used to have many best friends, but now all I seem to have are buddies. I have loads of them, so that's not the problem, but I'm really starting to think that for the last few years I've been unable to *really* communicate with people. Maybe it's all in my head, but I'd like to hear other peoples thoughts on this.


Another problem I face is that I'm totally disconnected from reality. I basically just get high and drunk all the time. I dropped out of college this year - going back next year - and havn't gotten a job since. That was 6 months ago, and my parents have basically been throwing money at me since then, which keeps me in the lifestyle to which I've become accustomed to.
The main problem here though, is that I don't even care really. I'd rather just have fun all the time than get a job, or make any strides to improve my life. I feel as though I'm just standing there while everyone runs around their daily crap which just does not interest me.

I don't really have much of a problem getting women, however I have a serious problem getting girlfriends. No matter how hard I try, I always just lose interest very quickly. I have trouble connecting with people, but it's really transparent when I'm with a girl and we've gone out a few times. I just don't have anything to say to them. I don't mean that I just sit there and say nothing, I mean I've nothing of any importance to say. I can small talk them to death, and bullshít them to death in order to make them want to fúck me, but when I see everyone running around talking about love and soulmates I really feel alone and depressed.
I've been through all this "I dont care about girls" stuff before, and I'm quite sick of it. I feel as though I've lost a lot of emotion.
I really don't care about anything except myself a lot of the time.

I've crapped on enough and I'm starting to rant, but if any of you could point me in the right direction I'd greatly appreciate it. This place has helped me out a lot before..

 

[spider_007]

You need a hobby. Something to be paissionate about, bike riding, skating, sky diving........ anything. Once you get that you'll have something to talk about with chicks and guy friends.

I know what you mean, while everybody is taking about their new car, sterio, gf,......whatever, you just kinda zoom out, cause you don't really give a ****....

 

[Wyldfire]

You might want to do some research on mild high functioning autism, such as Asperger's Syndrome. What you are talking about is one of the symptoms of mild autism and related conditions. Even though most people picture "Rain Man" when thinking about autism, there are a lot of people who you would never guess have it that do. Some people don't even realize they have it, it's so mild.

It can't hurt to look it up and see if any of the other symptoms fit.

 

[Phrase]

Start getting better by not getting high and drunk so often, thats one of your problems. You probably arent as disconnected as you think you are, its just that you disconnect your self from life by doing these things, which in turn makes you get more depressed The drugs and alcohol do not fill the voids you have even though they seem to at the time. You probably also think that no one really cares about you. Which leads you to say you only care about yourself.. These kinds of problems go hand in hand. The only way to fix it is to start loving yourself. Start hanging out with people sober and having meaningful conversations. These can come from news on tv, a book you've read, things going on campus.. hell even talk about the meaning of life.. whatever. As you have heard before, fix your inner demons first, work on your outside style, physique, etc. When you love yourself in a non conceited way, other people will too.

 

[gmm567]

You get high and drunk all the time..

You need alcoholics anonymous/ and or the drug version of it.


You need a spiritual treatment/recovery and that's what those programs are about. You'll learn about connecting on an emotional/spiritual basis and not just a physical basis.

Don't let this go on. Or,you'll waste years of your life in drug and alcohol oblivion.

 

[MetalFortress]

"I basically just get high and drunk all the time."

This might as well be your whole post, because this is the source of your problems

 

[Ronny_Neumonic II]

Well I know what you're all saying, but really this has been happening since I was 15/16, and I've only really started smoking in the last year or two. I don't drink too often, maybe twice a week a lot of the time.

 

[Wyldfire]

You're probably self-medicating with the substances.

Look into high functioning autism.