Disappearing social radar while in LTR...

[Fuglydude]

Not sure if any of you guys experienced this phenomenon, but I'm finding that the more and more I get into my LTR, it seems the more and more my social radar is disappearing. By social radar I mean the sense of social "sexual awareness", ei: knowing what girls are giving you IOIs/checking you out, based on the looks you get and the girl's body language, etc.

Prior to my LTR, I could pretty much give you a report on which girls at a place were giving me what level of interest and predict my success rate at hookin up with em! Now its just like...I don't even know who's checking me out, because quite frankly I don't really care as I'm very happy with the LTR that I have.

My gf even makes fun of me when I tell her about my lack of social awareness! We were out for our 9 month anniversary thing, and she kept saying how the waitress was constantly checking me out and was she really into me, and I had NO idea that she was doing this. Prior to entering my LTR, I would have been able to detect any palpable level of interest from the waitress.

This is also huge at clubs I find. When I'm at a club, I'll usually just go off by myself to jam because I love dancing. You'll have girls around you checking you out and arranging themselves around your periphery, etc...I know they're giving me IOIs, but its like I don't really care about hooking up with them, so I continue to jam by myself and dont' approach. I'll actually actively avoid (alliteration!) making eye contact. They probably think i'm gay for not approaching! Its pretty funny to watch girls come and dance around you check you out constantly, then leave 15-20 minutes later cuz you haven't made a move...haha...makes me laugh everytime!

Its almost like my social radar is atrophying from lack of use. Has anyone else experienced this?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Be careful, this could lead to an atrophying of your DJ skills. Even though you have a primary target you should still be able engage secondaries at some level. It was probably your DJ qualities which made your GF attracted to you, don't let them go by the wayside by becoming complacent.

 

[joekerr31]

My gf even makes fun of me when I tell her about my lack of social awareness! We were out for our 9 month anniversary thing, and she kept saying how the waitress was constantly checking me out and was she really into me, and I had NO idea that she was doing this. Prior to entering my LTR, I would have been able to detect any palpable level of interest from the waitress.

gfs always do this. at least ive experienced this.

not really sure why they do this. i think its their insecurity. honestly, half the time i dont think the chics they think are 'checking me out' actually are. i think they just get jealous at any woman who loooks at you for more than 2 seconds.

go figure.

 

[Fuglydude]

Good points gentlemen.

Joekerr... very valid points. I know my gf is pretty possessive, but we've talked about it, and she says its flattering when women check me out. She can't really be the jealous type to date a guy like me because of my job as an entertainer. Its pretty cool in our relationship, how we'll check people out openly and discuss with each other...my gf's like my best friend, so its pretty cool to be that open and comfortable in a relationship.

 

[STR8UP]

Its pretty funny to watch girls come and dance around you check you out constantly, then leave 15-20 minutes later cuz you haven't made a move...haha...makes me laugh everytime! ?

When I used to go to clubs without women in the group i would get this all the time. We paid attention to when it happened and we would call it "P" for "Positioning". That's you golden window of opportunity, cause if you don't accept their "advance" then they get irritated and move on to the next target.

 

[st_99]

gfs always do this. at least ive experienced this.

not really sure why they do this. i think its their insecurity. honestly, half the time i dont think the chics they think are 'checking me out' actually are. i think they just get jealous at any woman who loooks at you for more than 2 seconds.

go figure.

Yeah, I find this to. My ex would always say "oh, look at her checking you out" or "that girl is staring at you"

Most, if not, every time I would be wondering what the hell she was talking about, and told her she was making sh*t up.

 

[STR8UP]

actually joekerr i think they do know. when a guy is interested in a girl its easy to spot. its so obvious. but women are much more subtle and sneaky about it; they dont let you catch them. but your girl will notice. she's looking for it. in any case, its good news for you.

I agree.

Most of the time they are picking up on subtle vibes that aren't visible to the guy in question. There is also an exchange between the two women that a guy probably won't pick up on.

Sure, if the chick is overly insecure she might "imagine" things, but most of the time I would guess it's legit.

 

[jophil28]

gfs always do this. at least ive experienced this.

not really sure why they do this. i think its their insecurity. honestly, half the time i dont think the chics they think are 'checking me out' actually are. i think they just get jealous at any woman who loooks at you for more than 2 seconds.

go figure.

I agree. The woman that you are with will ALWAYS be scanning the landscape for incoming signs of an approaching competitor.
WE men need to use this to maintain our power and NOT fall into the trap of trying to re-assure the LTR that she is the "one and only" ..

 

[jophil28]

Yeah, I find this to. My ex would always say "oh, look at her checking you out" or "that girl is staring at you"

Most, if not, every time I would be wondering what the hell she was talking about, and told her she was making sh*t up.

Wrong answer Dude.Telling a woman that she is making sh*t up is pointless. Women have NO reality other than what they are thinking and feeling in the moment. Her fears about a competitor checking you out IS HER REALITY .
What is FACTUALLY happening at these times is only of interest to MEN.
A womans fear driven imagination makes her perceptions come true- to her.

THe way to handle this stuff is to use her ramblings to push yourself up the totem pole even further -do it with a touch of ****yness too.
When a woman starts telling me that some other woman is checking me out , my two standard replies are ,

" Yep , I get a lot of that. It can be a burden sometimes. ".... or,

" I noticed her looking -I hope that she isn't a stalker. What do you think? ,,Nah , it will be OK"

THis shuts the little woman down on the spot.