This post is inspired by "Rio's 101 and emotional swing theory" post, as well as some recent experiences I've had with my gf.
I recently learned, through experience (and various articles on this site), the value of the "argument". Or in other words the value in expressing disagreement when it's sincere. I used to go thorugh relationships avoiding arguments like the plague. This was a mistake. In a "perfect" relationship without tension women will get bored. So don't be afraid to argue. I'm not talking about irrational arguments that stem from being in a bad mood. I'm speaking of the kind of arguments that come from expressing your opinon that's relevant to a topic in conversation.
For example, one disagreement we had started when I expressed the fact that sometimes she uses unnessesary profanities when she speaks. I pointed out that I feel it's an unattractive quality. Especially in a lady. Also, I said that I believe it shows a lack of class when profanities are used excessively. Although she was apprehensive at first, strangely enough, I noticed she began to qualify herself to me in subsequent days by apologizing after she'd cuss.
Example #2: I know my girlfriend is fond of tatoos. She has three and plans on getting more. I however, am not very fond of them. I don't mind them to an extent, but I really don't like when women get tattoos on sexual areas of the body ( breast, lower back, legs, waist, etc). This topic came up over the weekend and I expressed these views to her. She disagreed, but I continued to provide logical explainations for my general dislike for tatoos. The strange thing is that toward the end of this debate, she gently pushed me against the cigarette vending machine and whispered how much she wanted to go home and have sex!
Later that evening she said something very odd. Something that women subconsciosly think, but rarely verbalize. She said she gets extremely turned on when we argue. Wow!. What a prime example of how women deny logic and react almost soley on emotion. Naturally, I disagreed with her on this. (after all, I would hate to agree with her and have subsequent arguments seem like ploys to turn her on).
Anyway... I don't think I'm saying anything that hasn't been said here before. I just hope to reinforce to everyone here the value in having opinoins and not being afraid to express them. It seems that when you blatantly demonstrate that you have solid views (even regarding the small things) you appear confident. On top of that you are creating that little bit of negative drama we hear so much about here.
One final word.... It's important to note here what was mentioned in Maximus Decimus' "Rio's 101...." post. You must base these types of confrontations on logic and not on emotion. The emotional part is for her, not for you to express. If you begin to show emotion during these debates then you risk the whole thing falling apart and before you know it, you have a heated argument on your hands. That's a competely different animal. One where you risk losing control.
Now good luck. Get out there and tell her what you think!
I recently learned, through experience (and various articles on this site), the value of the "argument". Or in other words the value in expressing disagreement when it's sincere. I used to go thorugh relationships avoiding arguments like the plague. This was a mistake. In a "perfect" relationship without tension women will get bored. So don't be afraid to argue. I'm not talking about irrational arguments that stem from being in a bad mood. I'm speaking of the kind of arguments that come from expressing your opinon that's relevant to a topic in conversation.
For example, one disagreement we had started when I expressed the fact that sometimes she uses unnessesary profanities when she speaks. I pointed out that I feel it's an unattractive quality. Especially in a lady. Also, I said that I believe it shows a lack of class when profanities are used excessively. Although she was apprehensive at first, strangely enough, I noticed she began to qualify herself to me in subsequent days by apologizing after she'd cuss.
Example #2: I know my girlfriend is fond of tatoos. She has three and plans on getting more. I however, am not very fond of them. I don't mind them to an extent, but I really don't like when women get tattoos on sexual areas of the body ( breast, lower back, legs, waist, etc). This topic came up over the weekend and I expressed these views to her. She disagreed, but I continued to provide logical explainations for my general dislike for tatoos. The strange thing is that toward the end of this debate, she gently pushed me against the cigarette vending machine and whispered how much she wanted to go home and have sex!
Later that evening she said something very odd. Something that women subconsciosly think, but rarely verbalize. She said she gets extremely turned on when we argue. Wow!. What a prime example of how women deny logic and react almost soley on emotion. Naturally, I disagreed with her on this. (after all, I would hate to agree with her and have subsequent arguments seem like ploys to turn her on).
Anyway... I don't think I'm saying anything that hasn't been said here before. I just hope to reinforce to everyone here the value in having opinoins and not being afraid to express them. It seems that when you blatantly demonstrate that you have solid views (even regarding the small things) you appear confident. On top of that you are creating that little bit of negative drama we hear so much about here.
One final word.... It's important to note here what was mentioned in Maximus Decimus' "Rio's 101...." post. You must base these types of confrontations on logic and not on emotion. The emotional part is for her, not for you to express. If you begin to show emotion during these debates then you risk the whole thing falling apart and before you know it, you have a heated argument on your hands. That's a competely different animal. One where you risk losing control.
Now good luck. Get out there and tell her what you think!