Dinner with the Ex-Girlfriend! Help!!

[Nightmoves77]

Well let's just say we dated 5+yrs.. We have been split for 2months or so... She wants to have lunch to talk and be friends... I know she has all ready started to be single again(Looking/hooking up with guys! UHG!!)...
Any advice on what to say? How to act? Also, what do you think she is trying to get out of this, or what she is going to ask me? I'm clueless trying to figure this out!!! Any help would be much appreciated!!! As you can see I have been out of the game for awhile!

 

[Panda 2000]

Here's some advice you probably don't want to hear: don't go to dinner with her!

 

[cave dweller]

dinner?

Hey,

Don't have dinner with her.
Forget her and move on.

cave dweller

 

[Nightmoves77]

I'm a man of my word... Also, our friends are intertwined and it will happen regardless... I want to be the better person in this situation...
I need something other than don't go!! I understand it will suck!

 

[Black Panther®]

Well wait a minute you all.

It depends on the situation, all we know its that its his ex and thats as far as we know.

We do not know the reason of why their break up ocurred and under what circunstances, or if they kept in contact during that 2 month spare of time that they were apart.

We need more info on this but, let me tell you this much you all, his mind its already made up, that he is going to go to dinner with her, no matter what we tell him, hes going to do so, reagardless.

 

[Fenderules]

Black Pantehr has got a point, even if he does hate white ppl (just kidding, at least you dont have "kkkman" for a name like that other dude)

we dont know enough. so elaborate a little, and yeah i can see your mind is made up. Just like out Blackstar was made up that he was going back with his gf regardless of how much she will cheat on him. We might as well make it the best form him that we can.



Since i dont know the story.......i can tell you are not happy with her seeing other ppl.......just dont get emo and afc about it.... you will not be the better person...guaranteed!

 

[Luveno]

You're a man of your word eh?

Well, you fail to realize you are in women "logic" town. Integrity has no place here.

So, call her back and make something up as to why you can't go....she's over. You have no more reason to associate with her anymore.

 

[Black Panther®]

Originally posted by Fenderules
Black Pantehr has got a point, even if he does hate white ppl (just kidding, at least you dont have "kkkman" for a name like that other dude)

lol i do not hate my fellow white brothers.
I just represent for the struggle of the Black panthers.

 

[Nightmoves77]

Ok, we broke up... Yes... her description is :"I need to find myself." I am pretty much the only guy she has seriously dated.. Hence 5+yrs and one living together...
I am not 100% sure that she was not interested in another guy at the end, but she is looking at other guys now.
We have kept in contact a little by email once every week or two.. I have not called her or broke down since.

I didn't sit by idly either: I am a complete gym rat again... from 195 back to 173 in 2 mos... I am going to get below 10% body fat soon!!(Build up my confidence!! Eventually chasing new girls!!)

Yes, I am going in to this lunch, like running into a brickwall... I will more than likely be calm and collected...
I know that less than a week ago, she tried to pick up on a guy... Nothing happened, but that is why I know she is trying to get back into being single!!!

Still I need pointers and ideas on how to act, what she might ask and how I should respond to things??!???

 

[Black Panther®]

ha......i feel for you

good luck since you already got your mind made up thats all we can do wish u good luck

and not i cant give out no pointers cause i just dont picture in your situation.

 

[Fenderules]

Originally posted by Black Panther®
lol i do not hate my fellow white brothers.
I just represent for the struggle of the Black panthers.

lol i figued that. i was joking around

 

[DJLegion]

Maybe it will help if you give us your age and her age too.

 

[Nightmoves77]

24yrs and I'm 29yrs...

 

[NewMan]

The same thing happened to me.

4.5 yrs. living together - the whole thing. She wanted "space" and things were not working out. Fair enough.

listen when I tell you this....

She needs emotional support right now. And she is USING you in that endeavor.

Read that again.

She will tell you she wants to be friends.

She will call/email lunch/dinner whenever she feels down because being with you will make her feel better.

When she finds that other guy - you will be a distant memory to her. You will not matter. No matter if YOU will want to remain friends - she will leave you in her wake.


All of this "man of your word" is just crap. Believe what you want - inside you want her back.

Why don't you just come out and admit it?

So - I will tell you this.

The only way - ever - that you will have any chance with her is if you DO NOT GO TO LUNCH WITH HER.

Let her face the reality - the cold hard truth of what she has done without you.

What are you getting from this? NOTHING.

Are you going to get laid? No.

Are you going to feel better? No.

Are you going to move on? no.

The cold hard truth is, that this is all about HER.

My friend, ignore this at your peril.

 

[Fenderules]

yeah i would ganji her. but its up 2 you

 

[Black Panther®]

Originally posted by NewMan
The same thing happened to me.

4.5 yrs. living together - the whole thing. She wanted "space" and things were not working out. Fair enough.

listen when I tell you this....

She needs emotional support right now. And she is USING you in that endeavor.

Read that again.

She will tell you she wants to be friends.

She will call/email lunch/dinner whenever she feels down because being with you will make her feel better.

When she finds that other guy - you will be a distant memory to her. You will not matter. No matter if YOU will want to remain friends - she will leave you in her wake.


All of this "man of your word" is just crap. Believe what you want - inside you want her back.

Why don't you just come out and admit it?

So - I will tell you this.

The only way - ever - that you will have any chance with her is if you DO NOT GO TO LUNCH WITH HER.

Let her face the reality - the cold hard truth of what she has done without you.

What are you getting from this? NOTHING.

Are you going to get laid? No.

Are you going to feel better? No.

Are you going to move on? no.

The cold hard truth is, that this is all about HER.

My friend, ignore this at your peril.

^^^ please read that and let it sink in your head, nightmoves

 

[Nightmoves77]

Great Post!
I agreed to go before posting this... BUT

I agree its all about her like you said!! (Sucks!)

Also, Yes wanting her back is part of that!(Slowly that is going away!! Sometimes!)

Shouldn't she see what she is missing?!?

I also know that since I haven't seen or talked to her just a couple of emails, that the lunch seems like the typical thing to do...

Why should I look like an Jerk and not show???? What will that do?

If its over its over, right?

 

[Black Panther®]

you dont have to, just phone her and tell her that you cant make it cause you have to take care of some work bussineses or whatnot

 

[pff]

"Look, ex-girlfirends are like reading a book...even if you read it again, and enjoy it a second time...it still has the same ending."

 

[Fenderules]

swee the problem is you are not over her yet......so how can you show here what she is missing? I'd wait just a little longer to make sure you head is together.