Dinner Dates - Are They For Losers?

[Nighthawk]

I posted this in another thread.

Girls see men who offer them dinner on a first date as chumps. Even more so if she suggests it and you agree. You should have said 'Hmm, dinner is for couples, lets just meet for a drink.'

I was talking to my gf about this last night - she has had plenty of dinner dates, none of them ever led to anything but a full tummy and maybe a peck on the cheek. Whereas I have had plenty of girls and never gone on a dinner date.

Likewise on UK Big Brother good-with-women Liam was teasing the hot twin about her lame dinner date procedure. She acted a little upset, but you could tell his qualifying and unwillingness to fall into the dinner-date/peck on the cheek/LJBF trap made her fancy him more. Then AFC Brian, who has already been LJBFed by her offered to take her out for a classy meal wherever she wanted. She dodged the offer.

NIGHTHAWK SAYS NO DINNER DATES!

And I wondered if any of any of the successful DJs reading this have different experiences. I can't find a thread concerning this subject, so share your thoughts and experiences regarding dinner dates here.

Also, I am curious as to when this ritual took hold as the primary date model (alongside the slightly less problematic movie date). Go back a few decades and eating out wasn't in the budget of most people, yet they were still hooking up somehow.

Someone recently posted something like 'the modern woman doesn't want to say to her friends 'Oh Brad took me to this classy restaurant and then he brought me home and kissed me on the porch it was so romantic' they want to say 'I met this guy and we went to the park and we were fooling around and he just kissed me it was so spontaneous and romantic'.

Perhaps this has always been somewhat true, and maybe the dinner date has become such a dull cliche that it is now almost exclusively used by modern woman for the free food and attention, and should be avoided at all costs. What do you think?

 

[Kev07]

Funny I'm actually talking on aim to my friend's girlfriend's mom (shes cool) and my other friend about this very subject.

They think guys should take girls out to dinner/movie.

I give them the basic arguments and they call me a cheapskate

I then asked her if her first date with her husband was movie/dinner
she said no.
Women They never know what they want.

 

[Monkey]

Dinner dates for first dates should be a BIG no no.

A short coffee/drink get together for no longer than an hour is ideal IMO.

Saves a lot of money, effort and usually weeds out low interest women.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Funny I'm actually talking on aim to my friend's girlfriend's mom (shes cool) and my other friend about this very subject.

They think guys should take girls out to dinner/movie.

I give them the basic arguments and they call me a cheapskate

I then asked her if her first date with her husband was movie/dinner
she said no.
Women They never know what they want.

Why argue your point? Why not make them argue why you should pay for their company.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

I stopped going on dinner dates in my 20s - they were always a monumental failure. I only go on dinner dates now with women after I'm f*cking them. It's a complete waste of time and puts you in a lower position, especially if you pay for it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I stopped going on dinner dates in my 20s - they were always a monumental failure. I only go on dinner dates now with women after I'm f*cking them. It's a complete waste of time and puts you in a lower position, especially if you pay for it.

I'm with 'ya. And if I'm just bedding them, dinner typically consists of take out if we aren't eating in. I leave the stereotypical dinner date for women I have some type of commitment to, basically they've earned the privilege.

 

[Kev07]

Why argue your point? Why not make them argue why you should pay for their company.

I did, my friend(girl) just said you're right!

My friend's mom couldn't give any arguments and then told me "that's why you've never had a girlfriend because you're cheap", so I had to go and give her the reasons, I feel like I'm supplicating to my friend's mom

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Next time show them this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHkHrdgDjNY

 

[Obsidian]

i've had one dinner first date go well before (meaning the girl became/stayed really interested in me), but I've also had several that didn't lead to anything

if you do dinner for the first date, I definitely wouldn't recommend a movie on the same night. That's too much time and money to spend for a first date. (Even if you're just paying for yourself, it gets pricey.)

imo, dinner first dates definitely aren't ideal, but you need some kind of first date that allows you to talk and qualify the girl. Coffee, ice cream, or drinks could work, or some slow-paced activity.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

i've had one dinner first date go well before (meaning the girl became/stayed really interested in me), but I've also had several that didn't lead to anything

if you do dinner for the first date, I definitely wouldn't recommend a movie on the same night. That's too much time and money to spend for a first date. (Even if you're just paying for yourself, it gets pricey.)

imo, dinner first dates definitely aren't ideal, but you need some kind of first date that allows you to talk and qualify the girl. Coffee, ice cream, or drinks could work, or some slow-paced activity.

I'll add that the only thing that a dinner date gives you on a first date is ambiance. If just feels nice sitting there at a table in mood lighting.

I say find a couple of independent, out of the way cafes or coffee shops which offer the same atmosphere. Starbucks is very sterile when compared to a hole in the wall, independent coffee shop run by part time students.

 

[Obsidian]

also: Out of the select # of dinner first dates that I've done since I began renouncing my AFC lifestyle, 2 of them were with girls who were hot but whose values/interests were dramatically different from mine (so we weren't really that compatible anyway), and one of them was with a girl I didn't find all that attractive (met her off the internet). Another one was with a hot girl who seemed to be really cool and similar to me, but somehow it just didn't turn out -- never really figured that one out. Then as I said, one girl practically fell in love with me.

so I'm not sure if they're totally bad, but I still say they're less than ideal