Dinner dates are for losers...

[AureliusMaximus]

So I read that somewhere (I cannot remember where), that dinner dates are for losers.
I can agree on that on conventional blue pilled dates where you invite the girl out etc.. That's just meh...
I would never do those blue pilled dates.

But what if/about getting the girl to come to your place and you actually enjoy cooking and hey a man gotta eat anyway, right?
So it doesn't really cost you anything more really since you would have made dinner anyway. Usually you tell the bring to bring something herself along like bottle of something etc. so you she contributes too. If they don't agree, well then; next!

Thoughts?

 

[EyeBRollin]

This is black pill garbage. Dinner date is part of the social contract of dating. While I do not advocate a dinner date for a first meeting (drinks are better), usually it is a customary to go out on a date at least once before getting some tail.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Agreed 100% only beta providers pay for sex via giving food to the female. Lionesses bring food back to their alpha.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

By "dinner dates" is it safe to assume you mean a formal sit-down, wine and dine type dinner date?

Correct; and I hate those too. Never done it actually.

Apologies not familiar with all the "pill" terms, lol.

It just means the conventional view on love relationship, courting etc. The fairy tail of the princess and the white prince on the horse etc. The term comes from the Matrix where Neo is offered to stay in the dream world (the blue pill), or take the red pill and wake up , thus being able to see and live in the real world.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

But let's face it (and you might not understand this being a man or maybe you will) but heading to a man's place on a first meet or date before she's had a chance to know him a bit is simply not safe for a woman these days. I had a very bad experience once when inviting a new man back to mine, so learned my lesson there.

Ye, there are idiots everywhere.
I just happen to know how too cook, (And I sort of like it), and it can be quite fun, easy going way of interacting if both are taking part of the process of prepping/cooking the food. It kinda removes the usual small talk quite fast too.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

I can be awkward when that's not happening though.

True indeed, it can be really awkward when that happens (It doesn't really click in lack of better word); but at least you come hope with a belly full of good food at least. xD

Well joke aside, when that happens it is at least easy to walk away and say no thanks etc.

So I'm 100% with ya there, but what about what I mentioned, the apps and drinks where we both contribute? Is that considered blue pill as well?

I dunno what the guys think here, but my opinion is no. Not if both contribute by paying for drinks/stuff etc. like you buy the first round and I buy the next and so forth.

 

[DonJuanjr]

One very well respected female poster there talks about it all the time, how some joe schmo wined and dined her, told her how beautiful she was all night, made her feel like a "princess," she literally used that word!

Did she mention what happened between them?

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Agreed 100% only beta providers pay for sex via giving food to the female. Lionesses bring food back to their alpha.

Or booze

 

[Modern Man Advice]

So I read that somewhere (I cannot remember where), that dinner dates are for losers.
I can agree on that on conventional blue pilled dates where you invite the girl out etc.. That's just meh...
I would never do those blue pilled dates.

But what if/about getting the girl to come to your place and you actually enjoy cooking and hey a man gotta eat anyway, right?
So it doesn't really cost you anything more really since you would have made dinner anyway. Usually you tell the bring to bring something herself along like bottle of something etc. so you she contributes too. If they don't agree, well then; next!

Thoughts?

I think that is referencing dinner dates where you go to a restaurant and there is a bill at the end. I don't think it references dinner dates where you cook or both cook at your place, although not many women will be down for that. Especially for a first date. That is an intimate setting that happens down the line.

I wouldn't agree with "if they don't agree, then next". As I said, it is an intimate setting and most women will not be comfortable with that. So you will have to next a lot of women for that reason.

I do believe, however, that if such date is set that she should contribute. If you give a woman a task, like "Bring a bottle of Malbec, please.", or dessert or even worse something small and she comes empty-handed, it can be a sign that she is not submissive and not worthy of commitment if she can't be bothered/asked to do something. Men often test women like that.

Without going on a tangent, as @catsmeow mentioned, most women would prefer a public setting where it can be interactive, fun, and things happening around to relieve some of the pressure of meeting a stranger and the "dating" mindset. Now, as always, if a women doesn't cooperate or follow your lead, then yes I agree next. If a woman finds your assertiveness and leadership offensive, it will be tough to be a man around her. And unless you have the feminine energy and she has the masculine energy then it will not work. A heterosexual relationship cannot contain two matching masculine energies. And that is the problem with most modern women, they try hard to have a masculine energy and feel empowered though it.

Remember, among other things, you need a healthy level of submission from a woman for things to work.

Modern Man Advice

 

[TheProspect]

Dinner dates as a first date are a no-go for me.

That being said, I do enjoy going out and dining at a nice restaurant with a female companion. For me, it's about the experience and not necessarily the expectation of getting some tail from the woman I'm out with.

If I'm taking a girl out for dinner, chances are she's already proved beforehand to be good company and has shown sexual desire in me. The dinner date is just a formality at that point, part of the social contract as @EyeBRollin mentioned.

Dinner dates don't necessarily equal beta or simp behaviour. Like most things, it's the intentions behind your actions that matter in the end, and what most women will pick up on.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

They had a few more dates after which he hit her up for money!

Wow...
Well they are both are really sad and pathetic in their way of action/being.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

That being said, I do enjoy going out and dining at a nice restaurant with a female companion. For me, it's about the experience and not necessarily the expectation of getting some tail from the woman I'm out with.

Ye, but here we're talking about cooking yourself etc. not going out on date/restaurant.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

I wouldn't agree with "if they don't agree, then next

What I mean is that if they are not willing to contribute in some way, not if they are willing to come or not.....

 

[SW15]

I read in the early 2010s that men should not go on dinner dates in restaurants prior to sex. Since then, I have avoided scheduling dates prior to sex in restaurants. I'll do drinks dates in bars. I'll do activity dates. I had a couple of restaurant dates that occurred from the rare mutual acquaintance setup. If you're meeting someone through mutual friends, then maybe you can justify it but try to avoid it even then. Avoid it 100% if the date occurs as a result of cold approaching or swipe apps.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

What I mean is that if they are not willing to contribute in some way, not if they are willing to come or not.....

Then I agree. It is a red flag that will translate into bigger things down the line.

Modern Man Advice

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

As a man you should do what you enjoy doing. If you like to cook? Nothing wrong with inviting her to cook with you and bring a bottle of wine (after all you presumably bought the food to cook)…and sure some women might not be cool with that on a first meet…but if there is high interest she might do it. Certainly she might on a second meet assuming she has high interest.

Im sort of like @TheProspect on this. I enjoy dining out. I’m a bit of a foodie and frankly one of the nice things about dining out is that it’s a social environment, it gives you opportunity to focus on conversation and it is nice to be served without having to clean up the kitchen. Obviously that privilege is expensive. But it’s an accepted thing in my social circles that many people really enjoy.

It’s a socioeconomic thing too. People with less money are going to be less comfortable taking someone new out to an expensive meal. It’s no bother for those who would be going to those high end places anyway.

Further I would note that anyone with financial means needs to keep an eye on expectations surrounding money. One party should not be hitting the other up financially. This is something I have to be aware of. I get very scrutinizing if a man says anything along the lines of “well you make more than I do”…there is a certain entitlement attitude contained in that and it has to be managed carefully. Men with means are wise to do similarly.

 

[Dash Riprock]

So I read that somewhere (I cannot remember where), that dinner dates are for losers.
I can agree on that on conventional blue pilled dates where you invite the girl out etc.. That's just meh...
I would never do those blue pilled dates.

But what if/about getting the girl to come to your place and you actually enjoy cooking and hey a man gotta eat anyway, right?
So it doesn't really cost you anything more really since you would have made dinner anyway. Usually you tell the bring to bring something herself along like bottle of something etc. so you she contributes too. If they don't agree, well then; next!

Thoughts?

This topic comes up a lot on SS.

Dinner dates are NOT for losers, with a caveat:

If you're taking a first-time date to an expensive restaurant just to impress her, it's a bad idea.

If you invite a woman out for drinks and in the midst of the date you get hungry and want to order food and invite her to join you in dinner, no big deal. I'm hungry so I'll eat and she can join me. I do it all the time. Personally, I make good bank so I'll pick up--and rather enjoy picking up--the check if I had a good time on the date and enjoyed her company.

Simple concept, for me anyway.

 

[DonJuanjr]

I'm hungry so I'll eat and she can join me.

Do you still order if she refuses to eat?

 

[Zimbabwe]

It’s a socioeconomic thing too. People with less money are going to be less comfortable taking someone new out to an expensive meal. It’s no bother for those who would be going to those high end places anyway.

A dinner date is a big investment to make with someone you just met, not just the money but the time it involves. Personally i reserve it for special occasions with girls i have been dating a while.

This is the mistake a lot of guys make, taking a girl out to an expensive place is stupid. Imagine wasting an entire evening for someone who is not even that interested.

 

[Bokanovsky]

This is black pill garbage. Dinner date is part of the social contract of dating. While I do not advocate a dinner date for a first meeting (drinks are better), usually it is a customary to go out on a date at least once before getting some tail.

I don't think that there's anything particularly wrong with going out for dinner, provided that it's not the first date. However, I don't think it's "customary" to do so before getting some tail. Perhaps for the 50-60+ crowd it is, but definitely not for the younger folks (and I use the word "younger" loosely here).

What the OP is describing though is not even a "dinner date". A dinner date implies going to a restaurant. Inviting a chick to your place so you could bang her after you eat is a totally different concept.