"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Dinner Date

CORVETTE06

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I asked a girl out to dinner on Saturday. She said it sounded good, and I told her i'd give her a call on saturday to get her address and let her know what time im coming to pick her up.

I asked her if she wanted 'to get dinner' with me. i am worried that she thinks we are just getting dinner and then shes going to make plans with her friends for later in the night? i am planning to get dinner and take her to see a movie

do you think she is going to make plans w/ other people for after dinner? I didnt mention a movie too because I didnt want to give her an outline of everything i had planned...
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Andromax

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If she is an attractive girl, there are definately people vying for her company on a saturday night.

If she is looking forward to a date with you, she more than likely hasn't made any solid plans for the rest of the evening, or if she has, and she likes you, will be willing to blow them off to stay out for a movie with you.

Don't worry about it so much dude.. just don't think about it until you are getting ready to pick her up, or the anxiety is going to eat at you and it will show.

Just be alpha male, tell her you wanted to go see this movie after dinner and that you are taking her. Don't ask if she wants to, she will let you know if she doesn't. voila. Her Alpha Male.
 

tsmith2334

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She could possibly have plans made for after the dinner.

If she does, don't stress it. I know you want to do more, but dinner is a great start. If the dinner goes well, just contact her in a couple days and ask her about a movie (or whatever you feel like doing).
 

Interceptor

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OK, I'm not going to judge you.

But please tell me, why did you offer this female a dinner and a movie, after having read EVERYTHING in here that says this is Attraction KILLING behavior?
Did you not know this?

OK, also, have you built really strong rapport with this girl? Do you have a lot in common? Has she shown you truly interesting things about herself to you, her intimate side, and do you feel she trusts you?

Are you sure you're doing this because it is what you would do anyway, or because you are trying to impress her?

Also, DO NOT call her for the first time to touch base onthe day of the 'date".

Call her before, and focus on being funny, playful and sexy . Build rapport.
Do not wait to call her on Saturday.
No exceptions.
YOU MUST call her BEFORE.


If she ants to go out with her frinds AFTER your 'date", let her.

Place the ball in her court.

DO NOT start acting jealous or POSSESSIVE for some female you barely know, and whom doesn't owe you anything.
If she is really attracted she will blow off her 'friends' to stay with you.

IF she shows you SOMETHING interesting and VALUEABLE to YOU, thenyou may want to express it to her.
"Hey , I'm having a great time. You're really cool to be around. You sure you still want to go with your friends tonight?"
Something simple like that.


Leave it up to HER.

Dude. leave it up to her.

She doesn't owe you anything.She's NOT your GF, or WIFE,dude.

She may start to think that YOU DO think she WILL OWE you something after you buy her dinner and pay for her movie. So be careful with this.


You better NOT EXPECT ANYTHING, friend.

Do not start projecting your FEARS on to this situation.

If she makes plans, let her.

If you want to go to a movie after dinner, say so.

If she doesn't want to, big freakin' deal.

Make sure you are relaxed and conmfortable the ENTIRE night during the dinner.

Do not "interview" her. Do not stress 'awkward silences'.. Do not 'force' conversaton.

Keep cool
 

Andromax

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Yeah I wasn't gonna give him a hard time about dinner for a first date, sometimes it works fine but it's not a good idea if you have the choice. I personally prefer meeting up with a chick after dinner time, 8-9pm for a drink, and keep it brief. 1- 1/2 hrs. I don't like movies for first dates either. Some people do.


Interceptor said:
Do not "interview" her. Do not stress 'awkward silences'.. Do not 'force' conversaton.
Yeah, during silences just lean back, act a tiny bit disinterested. Let them keep the convo going sometimes. If you do all the work she will think youre trying to win her over rather than just out for fun/flirty times. Talk about Brittny Spears, anything but finances and work/school.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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AFC Savior

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analyzing every little thing will result in you failing with this girl
 

CORVETTE06

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thank you for taking time to reply to my post.

This isn't the first time I will be hanging out with her. Last week she was at the bar i was at and we had a few drinks and talked a lot there. I had mentioned dinner and she said to call her & gave me her #.

Also, I am not a boring guy. I usually don't have awkward silences in my conversations so I'm not too worried about that.

And no, I haven't built a very strong rapport with her yet, and I have not seen her intimate side yet.

Movies & dinner is something I enjoy doing. I haven't been to the movies for a while and i wanted to see a movie that came out a couple weeks ago. I am not doing this to impress her. However, I don't really know what else to do with her besides that and going to a bar (which I did already)

I agree with you all that I am over-analyzing this. As much as I want to see a movie after dinner with her, I will just let whatever happens happen and be cool about it.
 
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