difficulties with my girl, help please.

[drift king]

i met this chick for a 1st date on the weekend and that night we went back to hers and had sex, it didn't go so great wasn't really on form so could only do it the one time.

anyway i ended up staying the night with her and took her out the next day, spent the whole day pretty much with her. i guess i was making AFC mistakes spending too much time with her etc and i kind of felt we were spending too much time over the 2 days.

we decided to go to the park for the afternoon and everything was cool and she was receptive to kissing, then i started to play with my phone like i was texting someone (which i was) but i spent absolutely ages writing it..

she then asked me what i was doing getting a little agitated, i think cos she presumed i was texting a girl, which i was at one point but the other time to my friend.. as i noticed her mood suddenly switched from the point where she didn't want to kiss or cuddle anymore and she just said she 'wasn't in a touchy feely mood' i felt a little rejected by this so my attempts to hold her to keep her warm while we were sitting outside were rebuffed, so i just removed my arm and eased back.. when i asked her why she was in a bad mood she wouldn't give me a reason.

i could feel there was some sort of tension in the air.. she apologised for her bad mood but i could still tell something wasn't right. we began talking again and the convo went pretty well making her laugh etc but something still wasn't right.. like when we walk she'd normally put her arm around mine but as we were leaving the park she did not do that at all. something didn't seem right.

when i dropped her off back at her place she didn't even kiss me on the lips, she attempted to kiss my cheek but i went for her lips so she just slightly pecked them, she then got out of the car and apologised again for her bad mood.

i did suggest twice during our time outside that i'd call her in a couple days to meet up for an hour or so cos shes got a deadline this week for a huge college project and said she wouldn't have time to see anyone this entire week, i took that a little bad like i would have thought that if she was into me as she was a few hours ago she'd want to see me.. and the best i got from her was 'we'll see' answer..

as i dropped her off i mooted the same suggestion that i'd call in a couple days she didn't seem to excited about the idea.

one day has passed, i tried calling her an hour ago, she didn't answer, then i tried again an hour later still no pick up. i sent her text straight after just saying i called to see how she was and that i hope she was feeling better etc, but no response.

what do you think is the likely reason why she had sucha sudden change of mood towards me since yesterday?

it seems so strange.. like it was if we were a couple already doing coupley stuff then all i can remember is her getting a bit annoyed as to why im spending so long playing with my phone, maybe she thought i have a gf on the side etc.. it just seems unexplainable why. its like shes changed her mind and i've overstayed my welcome.

what is the best course of action? as i can see that calling her twice and leaving a text was a bad idea, as i might now be looking too keen on her. she should really get back to me in some shape or form.

it's weird.. this stuff usually happens to me after a first date or whatever and thats the end of it.. but this one i actually ended up sleeping with (ok she's a slut you could say cos she put out on the first night, but she is scandinavian and it's in their culture that men and women are equal and go around acting as such)

 

[Interceptor]

Well, the sex that early on did have an impact on her perception of you, her, and the 'relationship'.


She might be high maintenance and NEED a lot of attention from you.
So perhaps she was put off by you playing with your phone.
Personally, I think it was a very childish unmanly thing to do.
Kids play with their phones. And you two being on a date, enjoying each other's company, and you diddling on your phone...
not manly or mature, dude.

Yes, you two were a little too close , and yes, you were too needy and clingy, trying to do damage control, which did not help this situation.

Bascially, all you can do right now is step back, get some perspective, and let og of the neediness, clinginess, and need to control your image, and the situation, and get all anxious about it.
Let all that stuff go.


But..
It is possible , like I said, she wants a huge amount of personal attention,and you being the needy guy, are probably well suited for that role.

You didnt seem to have given her an adequate answer, which was a Red Flag for her. Since you didnt seem to re assure her that you arent Playing her.
You do realize that women want Security, and Trust and Integrity are HUGE deals for women in relationships. And when men chekc out and dont own up to things, they are major red flags. They indicate to her that you are not trustworthy and dont have integrity or the CONFIDENCE to simply asmit to what it is you're really doing.

Remember this lesson.
Understand that women want trust in order to move forward with you.
They DO appreciate Integrity in a man, and they do want you to be honest with them, even if it's admitting that you dont want exclusivity and want to see other women, and the like.
Never be ashamed for asserting what YOU Want.
And when she asks you what DO You want...you better tell her and be honest about it
When she's blunt, you too be blunt.
That is a HUGE test right there.
And part of being a MAN's Man is Passing that very test.

Own up to what you are doing.

Stop being insecure and trying to HIDE things.

She doesnt HAVE to know EVERYTHING about you.
But there are certain things that you should never have to feel deceitful or embarassed about.
Remember, it's not up to you to decide how SHE REACTS to you.
It's all on her.

And second, if you KNOW it's wrong, chances are she probably thinks it's wrong too.
And if YOU dont want someone to do that to you, dont do it to them.

And finally, read the Book of Pook.And watch David Deangelo's On Being a Man.
Quick....

 

[betterthandead]

I'm shaking the magic 8 ball whether this relationship is worth anything and it's giving me the answer "doubtful"

 

[drift king]

Well, the sex that early on did have an impact on her perception of you, her, and the 'relationship'.


She might be high maintenance and NEED a lot of attention from you.
So perhaps she was put off by you playing with your phone.
Personally, I think it was a very childish unmanly thing to do.
Kids play with their phones. And you two being on a date, enjoying each other's company, and you diddling on your phone...
not manly or mature, dude.

Yes, you two were a little too close , and yes, you were too needy and clingy, trying to do damage control, which did not help this situation.

Bascially, all you can do right now is step back, get some perspective, and let og of the neediness, clinginess, and need to control your image, and the situation, and get all anxious about it.
Let all that stuff go.


But..
It is possible , like I said, she wants a huge amount of personal attention,and you being the needy guy, are probably well suited for that role.

You didnt seem to have given her an adequate answer, which was a Red Flag for her. Since you didnt seem to re assure her that you arent Playing her.
You do realize that women want Security, and Trust and Integrity are HUGE deals for women in relationships. And when men chekc out and dont own up to things, they are major red flags. They indicate to her that you are not trustworthy and dont have integrity or the CONFIDENCE to simply asmit to what it is you're really doing.

Remember this lesson.
Understand that women want trust in order to move forward with you.
They DO appreciate Integrity in a man, and they do want you to be honest with them, even if it's admitting that you dont want exclusivity and want to see other women, and the like.
Never be ashamed for asserting what YOU Want.
And when she asks you what DO You want...you better tell her and be honest about it
When she's blunt, you too be blunt.
That is a HUGE test right there.
And part of being a MAN's Man is Passing that very test.

Own up to what you are doing.

Stop being insecure and trying to HIDE things.

She doesnt HAVE to know EVERYTHING about you.
But there are certain things that you should never have to feel deceitful or embarassed about.
Remember, it's not up to you to decide how SHE REACTS to you.
It's all on her.

And second, if you KNOW it's wrong, chances are she probably thinks it's wrong too.
And if YOU dont want someone to do that to you, dont do it to them.

And finally, read the Book of Pook.And watch David Deangelo's On Being a Man.
Quick....

ok so if i am looking clingy and needy the best course of action is to leave it for a while?

i feel as if i should try to ask her what's wrong as it's like she's giving me the silent treatment and won't tell me whats wrong and wants me to figure it out.

she apologised for her bad mood when it happened but won't give me the reason.. i don't know if it's cos she doesn't want to look like the jealous gf so soon but it doesn't make sense why she's so put off by the idea of me seeing her again this week.

is me writing a long message to her asking what's wrong a best course of action?

 

[Interceptor]

DO NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES Write her a LETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


No
NO
NOOOO

Do NOT write her a letter asking her 'what's wrong'.




Step back, regroup. Get on with your life, and let this settle down.



You MUST learn HOW to do this.
If not, you WILL ALWAYS be the INSECURE, NEEDY, CLINGY guy who NEEDS constance REASSURANCE.

IF she doesnt want to see you, then dont see her.
Plain and simple.
Can you live with that??????!

Dude, you are going down the wrong road here.
YOU better STOP.

 

[drift king]

DO NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES Write her a LETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


No
NO
NOOOO

Do NOT write her a letter asking her 'what's wrong'.




Step back, regroup. Get on with your life, and let this settle down.



You MUST learn HOW to do this.
If not, you WILL ALWAYS be the INSECURE, NEEDY, CLINGY guy who NEEDS constance REASSURANCE.

IF she doesnt want to see you, then dont see her.
Plain and simple.
Can you live with that??????!

Dude, you are going down the wrong road here.
YOU better STOP.

i hear what you're saying.. but it feels like shes misinterpreting the situation.. in that she 'thinks' im seeing another girl i.e. cos im always on my phone texting someone but it's just my buddy from college that's all. i know it looks bad and could be misinterpreted that way but i feel as if she's misreading the situation and thinks im playing her..

i thought writing a letter explaining that she's got it completely wrong would help?

otherwise she's going to continue her thought that i'm a deceitful guy which im not and not give me another chance or to hear me out.. her perception of me is wrong and thus seems like that is why she does not want to see me anymore.

i know you say leave it.. but i feel agrieved that shes got the wrong perception of me and we could easily continue as we were if she just understood that she's got it wrong.. how would i demonstrate that if she's not speaking to me anymore?

i clearly made the mistake of not dealing with it on the day when i suspected things were going wrong when she has a bad mood.. if i had just cleared it up there and then things would be fine but i didn't even attempt to reconcile so now it's like im backtracking.

 

[amoka]

You called her two times, text her once, but no response. What he11 do you want to write a letter for? It will haunt you if you do. If she does not want to be with you, she won't be with you.

I'm more perplexed by the fact that you're considering your girlfriend. Yet you've only been together with her for less than 25 hours. No wonder she'll playing you.

 

[drift king]

yeah you're right. she told me she didn't want to see me anymore cos i am too 'full on'

can you really recover from something like this? and if so, what would you do?

 

[DJCT]

yeah you're right. she told me she didn't want to see me anymore cos i am too 'full on'

can you really recover from something like this? and if so, what would you do?

You are flogging a dead horse in continuing to pursue things with her and I'm not sure if that dead horse is your relationship to her, her respect for you or your respect for yourself. Cut the cord and find more girls before you flush all of your self-respect down the toilet.