"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Difficult week

Joined
Aug 14, 2005
Messages
58
Reaction score
0
Ugh...I knew there would be weeks like this for a new/aspiring DJ like myself. Reading similar posts by others made me feel better, though, because now I know this is the norm. To summarize:

Date 1: Woman I know is making goo-goo eyes at me, so I took her for a spin around the lake on my bike. She's a sweetheart, but she has too many problems so this one's not gonna be my girlfriend. If she wants to be a friend w/benefits, that will be her choice, but she will remain a friend, and that is my choice.

"Date" 2: Buddy tries to fix me up w/a woman (single mom) whom he claims is sweet, wonderful, very receptive to a relationship & is a bit down about her inability to keep a man. (I know, this story sounds fishy already). He talks me up to her, too. I call her & don't leave a message. She gets my # from caller ID & calls me, thinking I am a credit card rep. We are both caught w/our pants down & have a very awkward convo. I cut it short & suggest mitigating the weirdness by moving it to the real world (after-work coffee date). She gives me the definite maybe w/callback to verify (kiss of death). Five days later, no callback. Guess she's not that receptive after all.

"Date" 3: This is why I am about to stop answering internet personals. Lady #3 wants me to meet her in her home town (about 60 miles away) because she feels "safer" that way. I agree (mistake). She stands me up, then when I get back home, there is an e-mail in my in-box apologizing profusely, saying she got sick & had to leave work early, can we reschedule, blah blah. (She tried to send it BEFORE the date but it didn't arrive in time). I tell her, if she wants another shot, she has to come here to see me. Her safety is not at risk, people do not get abducted from public coffee shops in the center of town. Predictably, no response.

Lessons learned:
(1) Mama said there'd be days like this.

(2) The internet sucks rocks.

(3) Don't agree to travel so far to meet someone, no matter how good they look on paper. The flake-out percentage is too high to make it worthwhile.

(4) My aforementioned buddy (an AFC to the bone) was parroting a familiar piece of feminist propaganda at me: all women want is a GOOD MAN, and A GOOD MAN IS HARD TO FIND! (A good man being a man who doesn't lie, cheat, abuse, etc). Women are receptive to this rare creature called A GOOD MAN. This, my friends, is bull$h1t of the highest order...They are NOT receptive, a good man is NOT hard to find, they just keep choosing the other kind. A truly receptive (and realistic) woman would know that not everything goes smoothly in life; there is death, disease, war, and yes, even AWKWARD PHONE CONVERSATIONS! If she is alone, it is because she lives in a focking romance novel where the plot always progresses smoothly. And she is NOT receptive.

I dunno if this will help anyone else, but I had to vent. And now I will put my hip-waders back on & go back out into the muck... On the upside, I am now becoming hip to women who are trying to catch my eye, & now I'm going to grow some b@lls and do something about it.
Sarge on,
-Johnny
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Lost In Translation

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 30, 2004
Messages
1,385
Reaction score
11
Location
Australia
Great post Johnny.

Great break down of what went wrong.

johnny_dangerously
She gives me the definite maybe w/callback to verify (kiss of death).

you on point :)

i look forward to reading more of your future field reports with such insightful break down of the game


Lost In Translation :D

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**
 

Mojo604

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 18, 2005
Messages
224
Reaction score
0
Age
41
Location
Vancouver
I agree with Lost in Translation, good insightful post.
 
Top