"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Differences between men and women

everywomanshero

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\Here's some info from a class I am taking.
These are just rough notes, so skim it and
grab anything useful.

Week 1: Culture's influence on Gender

Culture's influence affects teaching. For example, male students are more often encourage to speak out and be aggresive than female students. Daughters are taught the importance of housework more so than sons reinforcing that women should be concerned with home and family.

Culture affects Communication. Through comminication social images of gender are annoinced and we are persuaded to believe these are natural, correct ways for men and women to behave.

Gender is neither innaten nor stable. It is aquired through interaction with others in social world and changes over time.
Marry Wollstonecraft in 1792 said that differences in gender were socially created and not natural.

Week 2: Gender Differences

Gender is socially and psychologically constructed. Some woman will have to be the most masculine woman. Gender is less clearly defined today than in our grandparents era.

Sex is biologically determined. We designate sex usually by external genetalia; the penis & testes on men or the vagina & ****oris in women determined sex. Determined by one of the 23 chromosome pairs. XX female, XY male. Can differ but as long as a Y chromosome is present, then a male is produced although maybe slightly different than standard XY males. Hormones determine the development of internal sex orgams and are influencing this as early as 7 weeks after conception.

Hermaphrodires (1 in 2000) people often caused by hormones, the internal and external genetalia are inconsistent. Usually caused by an irregularity om horomones during early stages of pregnancy. This can be externally induced such as when a doctor gives too much progesterone to a woman carrying an XX festus. Hormones affect us for life, a woman taking testosterone will start to deepen in voice. Male fetuses receive heavier amounts of hormone than females festuses. Men also have hormone cycles, and are more aggressive when in height of cycle and better at some cognitive tasks at low end of cycle. Both male and females are aggressive until around age 3 when girls are socially conditioned to be nice. Androgynous people reject rigid sex roles and embody both femminine and masculine qualities (qualities determined by culture).

Week 3: Theories of Gender Development: Biological, Interpersonal, & Cultural

Biological Development Theories:

1st attempts at explaining gender differences. Largely overshadowed by socialization theories but not always. Focus on chromosomes & hormones affect a wide range of individual qualities from body features to thinking & moods.

Chromosomal:
Men get X chromosome from mother & y chromosome from father. Therefore, women can inherit intelligence from either or both parents while men only from mother. Furthermore, the gene that affects social skills is only carried on the fathers X chromosome which may explain why women are more comfortable in social situations.

Hormonal theories, primary female hormone is estrogen which produces good cholesterol, flexens blood vessels, stregthens immune system, and places fat on breats and hipps. Male sex horomone is testosterone. Androgen is also present but it is not proven if this causes aggressivness in humans as it does in some animals.

Brain Structure and Development, males specialize in right lobe which is logical, analytical, conventional, abstract, and sequintial thinking. Women are more right brained which is artistic, imaginative, holistic, intuitive thinking & are better at some visual/spacial tasks. In language use women use both sides of brains while men are more likely to use only left brain. Women's brains also require less work to determine another person's emotions. Corpus callosum, a ystem of nerves connecting the two lubes, is better used by females but there is some evidence this can change based on usage, like exercising a muscle.
Biological differences are just in general. Brain physiology changes with use. Changes could be influenced by societal influence. Learned helplessness is an example of these changes in brain physiology. Biology/genes are a influence on rather than a determinate of gender.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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jonwon

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Wow you have no idea what stuff is going on in my head right now.

Great post, what is this exactly?

Is it wise to actually think of this stuff to deeply.

What i mean is seems pritty well engineered.
 

everywomanshero

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Interpersonal influences on gender developement:
Two major categories: Psychodynamic theories emphasize interpersonal relationships within the family that affect achild's sense of Identity, particularly gender. 2) Psychologicall theories says learning and role modeling between child and other people, including but not limited to parents.

Psychodynamic Interperonal theories Originally Frued focus on family dynamics that influence development of gender identity. Frued is later corrected on misunderstandings of womens development. Surrey, Miller, Chodorow. Object-relation theory is one of the prominent psychodymanic theories. Claims relationships are central to development of human personality, including gender identity. Early relationships are primary source of our identity. For most youth primary caretaker is mother. This is how infants thought to define themselves and understand relations with others. Infact Internalizes everything around it forming a sense of self and gender identity Created the core self. Image formed in infancy is the foundation later views are erected to. Mother & daughter share a foundamental likeness, daughters kept closer, talked to more personally, & talked to about relationships more which may cause them to be more attentive and find security in relationships. Mom & son realize they are different, sons encouraged to be independant, less personal topics, boys decalre themselves diff. from and may reject mother, boys may feel relationships stiffle independance.

Psychological Interpersonal Theories:
Focus on interpersonal bases of gender but without the intrapsychic processes. Psychological theories of interpersonal gender development highlight role of communication in individual learning & cognitive development as the basis of gender.

Social Learning Theory (Mischel, later Bandura, Walters, and Lynn) developed by Walter Mischel claims individuals learn to be masculine or femminine (amongst other things) through communication and observation. Children notice how others interact and immitate the communication they see from peers, tv, parents, etc. Will mimic almost anything, try it out. However, only some behavior will be rewarded, and those behaviors which are reinforced tend to be repeated. Social learning theory suggests that others' communication teaches children what gender behaviors are appropriate for them because children prefer rewards to punishment or neutral responses they are likely to conform to what others approve. Social learning theory does not regard biological sex as the basis of gender identity but instead argues that children immitate others and continue to immitate those behaviors that bring them positive communication from others. Parents emphasize social abilities in young girls & physical independance in boys. Social learning theory paints kids as passive absorbers of info that is later reinforced throughout life. Deborah Plun (Pulitzer Prize) studied girls with high testosterone (congenital andrenalhypoplasia) and found they engage in rougher play & prefer weapons as toys compared to other girls. However, they are eventually socialized towards preferences more traditional for girls by peers.

Cognitive Development Theory (Jean Piagent, Lawerence Kohlberg, Carol Gilligan):
individuals learn from interaction with others to define gender but assumed children play an active role and are motivated by an internal desire to be competent including knowinjg how to act their gender. Communication central to identity and the primary way kids learn and practice gender behaviors.

Campbell: by age 3 or younger gender constancy occurs which means he/she understands that gender is relatively unchanging, a fixed aspect of indentity, inevitable.

Stage 1: 24-30 months. Search others' communication for labels to apply to self. "boy/girls" "not approp. for a young lady" etc
Stage 2: 3 or younger: key development juncture. Gender constancy = understands gender is relatively unchanging.

Kids are highly motivated after realizing gender constancy to model into gender society expects. Boys can belch but not scream at bugs. Study TV, magazines, etc for info on how to be successful at their gender .. I mean hey, look at us :). Carol Gillan says Girls learn to value connections with others, communicate care and responsiveness. Kohlberg says boys learn to communicate independance from others.

Summary is that psychological theories focus on how individuals learn gender through interpersonal communication. Communication teaches lessons about gender and provides models of masculinity and femininity. Once gender constancy happens, most individuals strive for communications, attitudes, goals, etc consistent woth the gender they consider theirs.
 
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