"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Didn't get number, but..

Mikey C

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I was at a birthday party last night and a friend of a work collegue came later in the night. We got on well, I didn't crowd her and spoke to other girls in the group. I thought there was feeling though. At one point she says, "you've probably forgotten my name"...

Anyway to cut a long story short, I didn't get a number...

Should I mention anything to my workmate? We get on really well, she's a great girl too. How would I phrase it? or just leave it?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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origin138

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Mikey C said:
At one point she says, "you've probably forgotten my name"...
I'm curious as to how you answered this sh!t test. Hopefully in a ****y and playful manner instead of just going to out of your way to show her you remembered her name.

As for chasing her down through your coworker, I'd just let it go. There are lots of women out there. You dropped the ball by not getting her number that night when the attraction was there. When you didn't ask for her number, it conveyed to her you had no balls or that you weren't really interested. If you talk to your coworker to try and arrange some sort of hookup, you would look like you have no balls all over again.

Let this one go, and next time strike while the iron is hot. If you happen to see her again by chance, or at another party, go in for the kill. But do not leverage your coworker to try to set you guys up.
 

Mikey C

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Thanks, good advice.

Thing is, the night was in full swing when she arrived and I was a bit drunk. I was in a great mood and was enjoying the night with friends, trying to pull women wasn't on my mind to be honest. Suppose you must always be prepared though. The number thing just passed me by.

For the question, I said "Is it Rebecca?" Yeah, lame.

You're right, if I see her again I'll ask her out.
 

origin138

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Mikey C said:
Thing is, the night was in full swing when she arrived and I was a bit drunk. I was in a great mood and was enjoying the night with friends, trying to pull women wasn't on my mind to be honest.
This is a great place to be mentally and emotionally. Ironically, it's those nights where we don't really give a sh!t about women that we find ourselves hooking up and getting phone numbers. I'm the same in the sense that I'm usually so busy with my own life that I don't really notice women around me. It takes quite a bit for me to stop what I'm doing to go talk to a woman. Funny thing is, this actually ATTRACTS them because it conveys self-sufficiency and confidence, which leads to the next thing you said...

Suppose you must always be prepared though.
Good call. When your life is in a good place and you have your sh!t together, women will approach you, or they'll make it ridiculously easy for you to approach them because they see the value in a man that doesn't "need" a woman. At that point you can take the lead, which is ultimately what she wants you to do anyway. Being prepared for this will prevent situations like what happened at the party.
 

Mikey C

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Yeah, I'm feeling good about myself. I got divorced nearly 2 years ago, so I was pretty miserable leading up to the divorce and a good year afterwards. Now I'm exercising, drinking rarely (never at home) and buying new clothes regularly. A group of women (wives of friends) complimented me on my vans last night too.

As you say, when you feel good about yourself it's attractive to women.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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in the first half hour you know her "you got on really well" and she's a "great girl". And how do you know this after a few minutes with someone? you sir are a candidate for oneitis someday. yes you can tell already. the point is Wait until you know someone before making a judgement about them.
 
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origin138 said:
I'm curious as to how you answered this sh!t test. Hopefully in a ****y and playful manner instead of just going to out of your way to show her you remembered her name.

As for chasing her down through your coworker, I'd just let it go. There are lots of women out there. You dropped the ball by not getting her number that night when the attraction was there. When you didn't ask for her number, it conveyed to her you had no balls or that you weren't really interested. If you talk to your coworker to try and arrange some sort of hookup, you would look like you have no balls all over again.

Let this one go, and next time strike while the iron is hot. If you happen to see her again by chance, or at another party, go in for the kill. But do not leverage your coworker to try to set you guys up.
it's either a ST or a "nice girl" simply doing what nice guys have always done---supplicate. I vote for the latter.
 
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