Did she reject me before I asked?

[dudeman99]

Sent a chick a message on FB

"Yo B, you got any breaks in your schedule where you're on campus, Tues or Thurs?"

A day or so later she sends me

Ah, I do, but I use them to do my homework. :/


Did she reject me before I even asked her out? Any way to save?

 

[runner83]

Need more details bro, eg.

Had you chatted to this girl before?

Or was she some random you found?

Connections to your social circle?

 

[dudewut]

dude.......LMAO our names

anyway, if I was in your shoes, I would be like "oh ok then" and just drop the chick.

Any, more experienced DJs got any other ideas? Dudes need help here.

 

[dudeman99]

More detailz.

We took a class together last year and talked a few times, we were also in the same club on campus.

I didn't try to game her at all since I was digging some other girl in the same class and club.

Last week she showed up at the very end of club meeting and we chatted for about 15 min. She didn't come to club yesterday and we won't run into each other on campus.

She lives about 25 min away from campus.

I almost want to send her

LOL, is that a hint of some kind?

 

[dudeman99]

So I sent her another message joking around that she can tutor me in the class we took last year.

Then she told me when her breaks are and what classes she was taking. She seems pretty busy.

I'm thinking about trying to get her to meet up with me when she's out of class.

lol so I went from thinking that i was rejected to not being so sure anymore.

I'm lost

 

[No Girls 4 U]

Congratulations! You just completed asking a girl out in the most wimpiest way possible!

Rather than just come out and say, "Hey, I'd like to do (activity) on (day of week), r u free to go," you asked the question in a way that gave her various ways to get OUT of going out with you!

How so, you ask?

1. SENDING YOUR QUESTION IN MESSAGE-FORM

Oh sure, you COULD have just called her and gotten a direct answer right away, but why not just pvssy-foot it instead? By sending her a message, you got to experience the joys of waiting around for a chick to get back to you, and we ALL know how fun THAT is!

2. YOU DIDN'T GIVE HER ANY SPECIFICS ABOUT WHAT YOU WANTED TO DO.

All you said was "do you have any breaks in your schedule?" And she's thinking: "breaks for what? How long is he thinking my break is? Is he trying to plan an activity that will take a long time or a short time? What the heck IS he trying to do anyway? Does he want to take me out, or have sex with me, or just talk?? Ah, man, this is too much to figure out - I'll just wait a few days to contact him, then give him some bogus excuse about being busy..."

Which leads us to...

3. YOU GAVE HER AN "OUT."

Had you not mentioned anything about "breaks in (her) schedule" and just gone with the direct approach, you MAY have had a better outcome.

But NOOOO! Instead, you asked her if she HAD any breaks, which allowed her to come back with a reason as to WHY those breaks were too filled up to be with you. And man, she must have a LOT of homework, seeing as she has to use EVERY SINGLE BREAK SHE EVER GETS ON THOSE TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS TO DO HOMEWORK!!

No time for getting a quick bite to eat; no time to shower; no time to watch that favorite TV show of hers - nope, it's all about the HOMEWORK! She'd LOVE to hang out with you, but she's just TOO DARN BUSY WITH HOMEWORK to ever see you on those days!!

Besides, what woman who actually LIKES a guy would be able to find time to see him, regardless of their school schedule. I used to date a girl who was in Law School, and she NEVER had time to see me, EVER. Or at least she shouldn't have - yet somehow, she was able to invite me over to her place, cook me food, sex me AND watch TV with me, even during finals time (and she PASSED her classes, too).

But I'm sure all of that was just a fluke, right?

 

[f283000]

Congratulations! You just completed asking a girl out in the most wimpiest way possible!

My thoughts exactly.

 

[dudeman99]

Congratulations! You just completed asking a girl out in the most wimpiest way possible!

YOU DIDN'T GIVE HER ANY SPECIFICS ABOUT WHAT YOU WANTED TO DO.

LOL I guess I should have thought of what I wanted to do with her before I contacted her :woo:

Maybe getting a bite to eat? Though I don't want her to think I want to be her friend or some **** like that.

So what do I do No Gas for Jews?

 

[dudeman99]

Anybody?

 

[Igetit!]

Anybody?

Anybody what?


Look dude,"No Girls 4 U" said it perfectly......

Congratulations! You just completed asking a girl out in the most wimpiest way possible!

You screwed up. You should have just been a MAN and straight up asked her out. You might say,"Yeah,but....but what if she rejects me?"



Dude,you made a thread called "Did she reject me BEFORE I asked her out?".



It's one thing to ask a girl out and get rejected,but to get rejected while just thinking about asking her out,lol? Come on now.



You should have just came out with it. You "hinted" about the two of you possibly going out,so she hinted at rejecting you if you did.


That's bad,lol. She did a pre-emptive strike. She was like,"Don't even thiink about asking me out".



Getting a woman's interest is like starting a fire....there has to be preparation first. That's all game is. It's just getting a girl prepared to accept your invite to asking her out.



What kind of preparation did you do before that feeble attempt at asking her out? Did you flirt,tease,neg,compliment her,use sexual innuendo,be ****y/funny,or anything?



That asking her about Tuesdays and Thursdays couldn't have been the FIRST thing you've said or done to show your interest.....right?


It couldn't have been. You said she was in your class last year,so you've known her for a while. That in itself hurts your chances.




Is there any way to turn this around? There may be,but it's a long shot....plus I doubt you've have to courage to do it anyway.



I'd just straight up ask her out......and suggest a TUESDAY or THURSDAY.

Be like,"Hey,I'm going to the (whatever) on (Tuesday or Thursday),and I WANT you to come with me".


Now,you already know what's going to happen. First,she'll be a bit suprised that you just came straight out and asked her out,and second,she'll be like,"Hmm...didn't I tell him that I have homework on Tuesdays and Thursdays? Why is he asking me out on Tuesday/Thursday"?


If she's like,"I thought I told you I have homework on Tuesdays/Thursdays",then you be like,"uhh...yeah,so? That's the only day I'M FREE. Beside,it's not like I'll have you out all hours of the night,I have work/school/things to do the next day.

Just make sure you wear that (something you've seen her in that you thought looked good on her),I like the way you look in that".



That's all you can do,just give it a shot and see what happens. This may seem a bit agressive,but it HAS TO BE to UNDO the timidness you showed when you tapdanced around asking her out.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Congratulations! You just completed asking a girl out in the most wimpiest way possible!

Rather than just come out and say, "Hey, I'd like to do (activity) on (day of week), r u free to go," you asked the question in a way that gave her various ways to get OUT of going out with you!

How so, you ask?

1. SENDING YOUR QUESTION IN MESSAGE-FORM

Oh sure, you COULD have just called her and gotten a direct answer right away, but why not just pvssy-foot it instead? By sending her a message, you got to experience the joys of waiting around for a chick to get back to you, and we ALL know how fun THAT is!

2. YOU DIDN'T GIVE HER ANY SPECIFICS ABOUT WHAT YOU WANTED TO DO.

All you said was "do you have any breaks in your schedule?" And she's thinking: "breaks for what? How long is he thinking my break is? Is he trying to plan an activity that will take a long time or a short time? What the heck IS he trying to do anyway? Does he want to take me out, or have sex with me, or just talk?? Ah, man, this is too much to figure out - I'll just wait a few days to contact him, then give him some bogus excuse about being busy..."

Which leads us to...

3. YOU GAVE HER AN "OUT."

Had you not mentioned anything about "breaks in (her) schedule" and just gone with the direct approach, you MAY have had a better outcome.

But NOOOO! Instead, you asked her if she HAD any breaks, which allowed her to come back with a reason as to WHY those breaks were too filled up to be with you. And man, she must have a LOT of homework, seeing as she has to use EVERY SINGLE BREAK SHE EVER GETS ON THOSE TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS TO DO HOMEWORK!!

No time for getting a quick bite to eat; no time to shower; no time to watch that favorite TV show of hers - nope, it's all about the HOMEWORK! She'd LOVE to hang out with you, but she's just TOO DARN BUSY WITH HOMEWORK to ever see you on those days!!

Besides, what woman who actually LIKES a guy would be able to find time to see him, regardless of their school schedule. I used to date a girl who was in Law School, and she NEVER had time to see me, EVER. Or at least she shouldn't have - yet somehow, she was able to invite me over to her place, cook me food, sex me AND watch TV with me, even during finals time (and she PASSED her classes, too).

But I'm sure all of that was just a fluke, right?

Good post for the most part, but #1 isn't true at all.

Its funny how so many people take text as the "pu$$y" way of communicating with a girl, but that's a different topic in itself.

You said he could have called her and just got a direct answer, well what happens if she doesn't answer? He's still in the same position of waiting on HER, which is never a good place to be with a girl who has low interest at best.

In other words, the minor details (text/call) while they do make a difference ARE NOT the deal breaker in a situation like this....

The TRUE problem is the OP has weak game and isn't confident, which is always a turn off, 99% of the work is done on the 1st time you meet a girl. If your game is tight and you know how to create sparks, getting the date, calling etc etc etc are simple.

That's where almost every newbie goes wrong, they SUCK at creating attraction and BUILDING on that attraction to create anticipation and excitement for a future meeting. Then they post about their scenario from a jaded point of view, thinking they did a great job of creating attraction because they got her number....lol Silly newbie.....

Everything else you said was money and I couldn't agree more.





PIMP

 

[dudeman99]

Dude,you made a thread called "Did she reject me BEFORE I asked her out?".



It's one thing to ask a girl out and get rejected,but to get rejected while just thinking about asking her out,lol? Come on now.



You should have just came out with it. You "hinted" about the two of you possibly going out,so she hinted at rejecting you if you did.


That's bad,lol. She did a pre-emptive strike. She was like,"Don't even thiink about asking me out".

That's why i made this thread. I wasn't sure if she did or not

Her next message made me even more confused.

Getting a woman's interest is like starting a fire....there has to be preparation first. That's all game is. It's just getting a girl prepared to accept your invite to asking her out.



What kind of preparation did you do before that feeble attempt at asking her out? Did you flirt,tease,neg,compliment her,use sexual innuendo,be ****y/funny,or anything?



That asking her about Tuesdays and Thursdays couldn't have been the FIRST thing you've said or done to show your interest.....right?


It couldn't have been. You said she was in your class last year,so you've known her for a while. That in itself hurts your chances.

I was trying to hook up with another girl lat year who was in the same class. So i didn't give this one that much attention or try to do anything wit her. I didn't even friend her until a week ago. I also was more interested in another girl that I'm trying to get with now



lol so this message probably was the first thing i did that showed i had any interest it was also sent late monday nihgt if you knw what day that was.


We also hadn't talked in 2 months.

I'd just straight up ask her out......and suggest a TUESDAY or THURSDAY.

Be like,"Hey,I'm going to the (whatever) on (Tuesday or Thursday),and I WANT you to come with me".

Nice idea, id use it if her breaks didn't happen when i'm in class.



I thnk I'll just send her a message to get some coffee with me when I'm out of class. There arent' anythings I want to take her to yet.

That's where almost every newbie goes wrong, they SUCK at creating attraction and BUILDING on that attraction to create anticipation and excitement for a future meeting

that;s why I'm here. if I could have gotten her to blow me last week when we talked then i wouldn't have even made this thread.

 

[Iceberg]

I was trying to hook up with another girl lat year who was in the same class.

I also was more interested in another girl that I'm trying to get with now

it was also sent late monday nihgt if you knw what day that was.

We also hadn't talked in 2 months.

Nice idea, id use it if her breaks didn't happen when i'm in class.

Hey man. I was new here once, same as you are. But let's just call these things what they are. Excuses. Maybe you're just on the defensive because you think everyone is attacking you. They're not.

The reason people are ripping into you about the mistakes you made aren't to correct what happened in the past with this girl. It's to get you thinking in the proper mindset for the next batch of girls.

Next time around, if you see a girl and you like her, build some rapport. Then when it's time to ask her out, just say, "Hey there's a band playing at (blank). I think you'd be into it. Come see it with me."

She accepts or she rejects, but there's no tiptoeing around the date request leaving you to wonder if you've gotten rejected before you even asked.

I thnk I'll just send her a message to get some coffee with me when I'm out of class. There arent' anythings I want to take her to yet.

Coffee is pretty boring, but at this point, I'd accept anything that gets you face to face and one-on-one with this girl. I'd like to think that a 19 year old on a college campus can find something a little more exciting to do.

 

[dudeman99]

Hey man. I was new here once, same as you are. But let's just call these things what they are. Excuses. Maybe you're just on the defensive because you think everyone is attacking you. They're not.

The reason people are ripping into you about the mistakes you made aren't to correct what happened in the past with this girl. It's to get you thinking in the proper mindset for the next batch of girls.

so this chicks a lost cause?

Next batch.

Coffee is pretty boring, but at this point, I'd accept anything that gets you face to face and one-on-one with this girl. I'd like to think that a 19 year old on a college campus can find something a little more exciting to do.

lol I don't think she'd want to play GT5 with me.

 

[Chickfight]

That's why i made this thread. I wasn't sure if she did or not

Her next message made me even more confused.



I was trying to hook up with another girl lat year who was in the same class. So i didn't give this one that much attention or try to do anything wit her. I didn't even friend her until a week ago. I also was more interested in another girl that I'm trying to get with now



lol so this message probably was the first thing i did that showed i had any interest it was also sent late monday nihgt if you knw what day that was.


We also hadn't talked in 2 months.

Nice idea, id use it if her breaks didn't happen when i'm in class.



I thnk I'll just send her a message to get some coffee with me when I'm out of class. There arent' anythings I want to take her to yet.



that;s why I'm here. if I could have gotten her to blow me last week when we talked then i wouldn't have even made this thread.

As Iceberg said, you're making excuses, which is fine, but you have to recognize this. Don't act like there's no opportunities for you two to hang out. Unfortunately, it will only happen if both of you are into each other, though in this case it's rather one sided.

Girls have to have some trust and comfort (rapport) with you before they go on a date with you. That's why real dates are so hard to get from chicks at clubs where these things are notoriously hard to build. kissing and groping they're fine with, but going on a date not so much, go figure.

Look at it this way. Try to genuinely get to know them a little better while keeping it flirtatious, teasing her, telling her a funny story, giving her a nickname, touching her shoulder briefly. NOW ask her out, and not for some pvssy sh!t like coffee during her break.

You need to fix your mentality. You said you didn't give her any attention before because you were trying to hook up with another girl in the class. Obviously you didn't get her either. You should have been flirting with both of them and asking both of them out.

 

[FeedLine]

Anybody?

You are a better judge of what you should do when hanging out with her than we are. I recommend finding another girl so you don't get oneitis.

 

[dudeman99]

Thanks for the information Chickfight. That's some stuff I can use.

BTW if going for coffee after class is pvssy sh!t, then what should I do with her?

The only things I know about her is she really likes Asian culture. She's taking Japanese and Chinese (Chick's white btw) and she's planning on going to a korean music festival. She likes anime and is a vegetarian.

There are some Japanese culture events happening in April that I would take her to but that's too long to wait.

I've never reallly spend any time alone with girls so i don't know what to do with her.

And lol no oneitis is not an issue. I don't see her often enough for that crap to happen :rock:

 

[nismo-4]

Sent a chick a message on FB

"Yo B, you got any breaks in your schedule where you're on campus, Tues or Thurs?"

A day or so later she sends me

Ah, I do, but I use them to do my homework. :/


Did she reject me before I even asked her out? Any way to save?

Judge nismo has another open and shut case.

You have been found guilty of asking a girl out the pu$$y way. The fine is a teased dik, a loss of a girl, and a trip to Friendville, Florida.

In online dating, you need to get the girls off the net as soon as possible.

Case closed. And listen to Igetit! et. al.

 

[dudeman99]

Sent her a message today.

Hey what time are you done with school on Wednesday? Lets get some coffee and a bite to eat.

Her reply

Wednesday? I only have one class Wednesdays, then I leave. :/

-----------
Time to move on? Any point in sending her another message?

 

[Darth]

Any point in sending her another message?

Unfortunately no.