did i screw up

[Herb]

So i went to a friend's bday party last night, and one of her friends who was there was a girl I went out on two dates with like 3 months ago, and it didn't end up working out with her. But this time, since I wasn't paying too much attention to her and talking to a bunch of other girls and people, and dancing, winning at poker, and just looking higher value, she seemed to take an interest in me again, even trying to teach me this sensual Latin dance (the fact that everyone was drinking a lot helped). After they left I stayed behind to talk to and catch up with the host of the party and the girl I'm talking about texts and then calls me asking what I'm up to and to come over to her place, giving me her address. After a little playful flirting on the phone I agree and tell her I'll be there soon.

But right as I park and approach the door, she texts me saying there's a bit of an issue. One of the other girls at the party I was hitting on (and who I tried inviting back to my place afterward since it was her last night in town, to which she turned me down) was apparently there, being friends with her and her roommates and told them all about that experience just then lol. That girl did seem interested but she was kind of old school and conservative and foreign so I guess she wasn't ready for it... oh well. But anyway the girl who invited me said she couldn't let me in because things would be awkward with the others at that moment (I owned up to my attempt on the other girl and was just straightforward about it, having no shame in being a guy, which she took well or didn't mind).

But she said I could wait around until they went to bed. It being past 3 in the morning, 15 degrees out, and me having to get up in 6 hours, I told her I could wait around like 15 or 20 minutes in my car (I was almost out of gas) but then I gotta bounce and that we could try it again some other time. Then she just told me that I could go, probably thinking that it would take longer for them to go to bed, so after a few minutes I drove off and bid her good night. About half an hour later she texts me saying that they went to bed and I should come back, if I was still there, right as I pulled into my own driveway... I was kinda pissed and regretful but I decided to commit to my plan of action, and just told her that I did really want to see her but that she should hit me up some other time since I guess it wasn't in the cards that night.

Was it a good move to defer it like that? I feel like a little restraint could go a long way sometimes. I also didn't want to come across like some desperate beta who waits around in his car an hour for the chance that he can maybe come in and get a chance to hook up. It may have undone some of her earlier impression of me (I think part of the reason she turned me down a few months ago was because I may have chased too hard). I don't feel too bad about this decision. On the other hand, there is the possibility that this was a one time opportunity and that she won't feel the same way in the future, since it may have been a heat of the moment kind of thing.

 

[sazc]

I definitely would not leave a dude I was in to, to go chat up my friends in another area of the establishment.

If I was in to him, I would say 'come with me and meet my friends' or 'I'll chat with them later, I want to get to know you'

What she did to you was rude. She thinks you are her beta.

Most likely there was another dude there that she was more in to and, as she was chatting them up, she said something like 'him? Yea, I'm on a "date" ' and then she rolled her eyes. She thought she had you in her frame until you cut. Now she's wondering why you aren't her puppet.

You can probably spin her hamster, and she might put out next time, but IMO she's already shown you she's low IL.

 

[Bible_Belt]

just told her that I did really want to see her but that she should hit me up some other time since I guess it wasn't in the cards that night.

Not only did you do the right thing by leaving, you also did the right thing by not being a butt hurt crybaby about not getting laid. Many guys would have the urge to tell her off out of blue ball frustration, which is pointless and just burns that bridge for the future. You handled it well.

 

[Herb]

Good.

Actually I found out that wasn't her place but that she was staying over at some friends to be closer to where the party was, since she's normally like almost an hour away. I suppose I coulda told her to come back to my place, but that woulda created more logistical problems given my time schedule, and it woulda been weird for her to leave the others that late like that without a good excuse. It is what it is.

But then yesterday I texted her Merry Christmas after not interacting with her since. To which she replied the same in all caps with exclamation marks followed by three upside-down faces. Is that supposed to be sarcasm?

 

[BeExcellent]

Good.

yesterday I texted her Merry Christmas after not interacting with her since. To which she replied the same in all caps with exclamation marks followed by three upside-down faces. Is that supposed to be sarcasm?

I take the upside down smiley face emoji to mean playful. That's how I use it & how my BF uses it.