Did I screw up?

[corner boy]

Hi guys

Well actually my first post here and I'm not quite sure if this topic belongs in here or rather into the high school forum, but since I'm at university I decided to put it in here...anyway, here's my story:

I've met this hot Tunisian girl (tall, long and curly hair; big brown eyes) on a train ride. I was reading a book and when suddenly she started a conversation about the book. Turns out she's attending the same university and the same major as I do (actually I've seen her already a couple of times at the university). We had a good conversation about this and that. Felt a strong hook, good eye connection. Didn't ask her in the end for her number though cuz she was with her sister and I thought that it would be kind of weird/too obvious.

Saw her a couple of days later at the entrance of the canteen. Went to her to say hi. Conversation was a bit awkward that time. Firstly my conversational French is not yet very skilled (I'm German and attending a French University) and secondly I was kind of nervous. Tried to catch her eyes but it didn't hook as much that time. A bit later a guy shows up – turns out she's having a rendez-vous with him for lunch. He looked to me like a typical orbiter, clearly interested in her.

Didn't see her anymore for a couple of days and got uneasy. Looked her up on Facebook and found her. I texted her: "Hey is it you that I've met in the train recently?" her answer: "haha yes, it's indeed me ^^". Well and at this point I think I've mad a big mistake and I think I've screwed up. I've texted her something that goes like "oh my god, sometimes facebook scares me really of 'cuz it showed me your profile in the 'you-also-might-know-list'. How are things going? You had a nice weekend?" and in addition I've sent her a friend-request.

Well, she confirmed the request, but didn't reply to my message anymore. I guess I must have come across as creepy. Or just boring. I understand now that there are enough orbiters and that I acted just like another one of those chumps

Do you think I've screwed up completely? Or is there maybe a way to turn the tide? What would you do in my situation?

Thanks guys!

 

[LandingWood]

Hi guys

Well actually my first post here and I'm not quite sure if this topic belongs in here or rather into the high school forum, but since I'm at university I decided to put it in here...anyway, here's my story:

I've met this hot Tunisian girl (tall, long and curly hair; big brown eyes) on a train ride. I was reading a book and when suddenly she started a conversation about the book. Turns out she's attending the same university and the same major as I do (actually I've seen her already a couple of times at the university). We had a good conversation about this and that. Felt a strong hook, good eye connection. Didn't ask her in the end for her number though cuz she was with her sister and I thought that it would be kind of weird/too obvious.

Saw her a couple of days later at the entrance of the canteen. Went to her to say hi. Conversation was a bit awkward that time. Firstly my conversational French is not yet very skilled (I'm German and attending a French University) and secondly I was kind of nervous. Tried to catch her eyes but it didn't hook as much that time. A bit later a guy shows up – turns out she's having a rendez-vous with him for lunch. He looked to me like a typical orbiter, clearly interested in her.

Didn't see her anymore for a couple of days and got uneasy. Looked her up on Facebook and found her. I texted her: "Hey is it you that I've met in the train recently?" her answer: "haha yes, it's indeed me ^^". Well and at this point I think I've mad a big mistake and I think I've screwed up. I've texted her something that goes like "oh my god, sometimes facebook scares me really of 'cuz it showed me your profile in the 'you-also-might-know-list'. How are things going? You had a nice weekend?" and in addition I've sent her a friend-request.

Well, she confirmed the request, but didn't reply to my message anymore. I guess I must have come across as creepy. Or just boring. I understand now that there are enough orbiters and that I acted just like another one of those chumps

Do you think I've screwed up completely? Or is there maybe a way to turn the tide? What would you do in my situation?

Thanks guys!

You didn't get her number on the train, which you should have, so your first question after confirming it was her should have been asking for her number.

 

[corner boy]

Yes that's true, I should have gone for her number. So in your opinion: is there any way to get back into the game or do I have to write her off?

 

[Skyline]

Didn't see her anymore for a couple of days and got uneasy. Looked her up on Facebook and found her. I texted her: "Hey is it you that I've met in the train recently?" her answer: "haha yes, it's indeed me ^^". Well and at this point I think I've mad a big mistake and I think I've screwed up. I've texted her something that goes like "oh my god, sometimes facebook scares me really of 'cuz it showed me your profile in the 'you-also-might-know-list'. How are things going? You had a nice weekend?" and in addition I've sent her a friend-request.

Well, she confirmed the request, but didn't reply to my message anymore. I guess I must have come across as creepy. Or just boring. I understand now that there are enough orbiters and that I acted just like another one of those chumps

Do you think I've screwed up completely? Or is there maybe a way to turn the tide? What would you do in my situation?

Thanks guys!

The red is where you messed up. Because you didn't see her for a while you got a small case of oneitis resulting in insecure/AFC actions. Finding her on FB was a bit creepy not going to lie; you should have number closed so you wouldn't have had to do that. Those messages you sent... This first one(the greeting) was fine, the second was a bit on the edge, and the other two were not necessary.

Especially since you broke the double question rule. Meaning don't ask more than one question if the first hasn't been answered.

So in short, the approach was nice but the aftermath was garbage. Mainly because you didn't close! But since she initiated, you still have a chance. Next time number close!

 

[corner boy]

The red is where you messed up. Because you didn't see her for a while you got a small case of oneitis resulting in insecure/AFC actions. Finding her on FB was a bit creepy not going to lie; you should have number closed so you wouldn't have had to do that. Those messages you sent... This first one(the greeting) was fine, the second was a bit on the edge, and the other two were not necessary.

Especially since you broke the double question rule. Meaning don't ask more than one question if the first hasn't been answered.

So in short, the approach was nice but the aftermath was garbage. Mainly because you didn't close! But since she initiated, you still have a chance. Next time number close!

Thanks mate, I guess I've learnt my lesson for the next time!

 

[denverfan110]

its all a learning experience man

as a general rule adding someone on facebook before closing them irl usually signals afc behavior