Did I Ruin My Chances? (first post)

[TooNice]

Hey this is my first post here... Not quite sure how I stumbled on to this site but I am glad that I did, & hopefully someone can help me out here... not sure if I should stop trying, or keep at it

Sorry if this is long but I just want you guys to know the whole situation.

[before I type the situation I will start by saying, its not the attraction that im worried about here... Im one of those in shape, handsome, nice guys who a lot of females are attracted to, one of my co-workers said "you have these females n here going crazy over u" I said who she says "its like 5-6 of them that work with us" but she wouldnt tell me who... I only say this so you guys know that its not like im some ugly monster who no girl wants lol... alright so here is my situation]


There is this girl that I work with (at same job I was talking about above).. she is extremely beautiful, Ive always wanted to say something to her...but sense im shy I always freeze up when she walks past me... so 1 day I just said forget this ima just talk to her.... so to break the ice I just said hey what section they have u working in?...ohh how do you like it there?... ect ect.. so after a few days of talking to her.... everything seems cool... so 1 night a group of us go out for lunch during our lunch break... her personality starts to show... she is acting real "ghetto" giving the waitress attitude... and talking really loud (her and her female friend both)... so In my head im thinking, whoa.. but she is very pretty so w.e. LOL... so next day Ive built up the confidence to ask her to lunch.... just us 2... she says yes.... so we go to lunch... 360!!!!! she is this sweet, soft spoken lady.. complete opposite from the day before when she was with her friend... everything went perfect!!... so now im happy as everrr convo was great... seemed like we both were interested in each other

next day.. a group of us (co-workers) go out to lunch, again she is with her friend, and is really loud and acting just weird, so now I have n my head that she acts 1 way with her friend and another when its just us... but she is throwing hints that she is interested in me because someone said I have a girlfriend jokingly at the table, and she responded really fast with "HUH? NO HE DONT, HE BETTER NOT" then a few minutes later she was saying "im tired of being single, i want a boyfriend".... so im thinking to myself, YESSSS im in there.... and then... smh... here comes the fk up... its her friends birthday (the girl I mentioned above who she acts crazy with)... & its time to pay for the meals... the girl I like paid for her food and when her friend was about to pay.. I did the dumbest thing ever.. i said since its your bday Ill pay for your meal... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO whyyyyyy did I do that!!!!.... I mean I would have paid for the girl I like meal but I didnt want everyone else around to start making fun of me for paying for her... and making a scene about me liking her.... well, the girl I like, stormed out of the restaurant... started her truck.... and left

ever since that day, everything has been diff. I mean, she gave me her # like 2 weeks later, but she rarely ever text back... its just not the same, its like she is turned off or something now.... Since I do music, I went to the studio and made a song for her and had my friend tell her that I did so, and she said "thats weird" I thought she would say that was sweet noone ever did that for me, but her reaction was the opposite... now i dont even want to talk to her because I will feel like im nagging.... so what should I do? leave this situation alone, or keep trying?

again sorry so long, just wanted yall to get the whole story... any advice will be appreciated

---Ohh yeah she also admitted to liking/dating bad guys/thugs.. in her words "i like a guy that will slap me around and tell me what to do" LOL ughh that kinda threw me off, im the complete opposite, and from our 1on1 date i had the impression she was interested but now, ever since that day I paid for her friend... she just seems turned off and now I feel kinda like a lame because I know im not the type she normally dates [I just dont understand why a female would want a guy that would end up in jail vs a guy with a promising future]

 

[CrimsonPanther]

spin plates. this will solve all your girl related problems, fear included

there is no one single beautiful girl. there are girls. i would advise you to go for her and get her, but this looks like a oneitis with pedestalization. and this will never end well for you.

and why would she leave if you paid the birthday girl's meal? is she some kind of weirdo? who cares what you pay for lol. but paying for her stuff without you 2 even being together would have been worse afc move so...

 

[TooNice]

sorry im new here so I don't know what spin plates mean.. and all my friends that were there said I ****ed up, I should have paid for both of them or not paid for any of them... they said why you pay for her bestfriend when you like her (I respond with because it was her birthday) but they still say I messed up my chances by doing that... this is really bothering me, I really want this girl, the harder I try... the harder it seems to get like me being nice is turning her off

 

[GS750]

It means you need to be talking to more than one girl at a time that way you dont obsess over one particular girl...which you are currently doing. Start by reading the DJ Bible.

http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/

 

[TooNice]

It means you need to be talking to more than one girl at a time that way you dont obsess over one particular girl...which you are currently doing. Start by reading the DJ Bible.

http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/

Ohh.. thats not the problem here tho, like I started by saying, I usually get any girl I want... but the fact I cant get this one.... is urking me, I had her.. but fk'd up.... Im jus seeing if I should throw in the towel on this one or keep trying..... the more I feel like I can't get her the more I want her.... im not worried about talking to more women thats too eazy... its this ONE I want

 

[TooNice]

Ohh... thats not the problem here, like I stated earlier... most find me attractive..I always have options, so talking to more I dont think would do much...its the fact that I had this one, and I fukked up... now it seems like she playing hard to get... makes me want her even more....but dont wanna seem desperate... so my main question was should I just throw in the towel or keep trying.....

but after reading some of the DJ book or w.e..... seems like you guys want me to do the reverse role... my usual mr. nice guy role usually works all the time but u guys want me to do how she is doing... be the guy thats showing little to no interest, not really being available, "The Great Catch" lol.. basically turn the tables how she is acting ect ect.

 

[TooNice]

thanks for link GS7 ill check that out

 

[Atom Smasher]

Welcome to the forum, toonice.

Do you really want a girl who will flip out at the drop of a hat and who drastically changes when she's with her friend? I would say her value is pretty low and perhaps you should consider raising your standards.

This girls is a world of potential trouble, believe me. Her feeling weird about it is one thing, but storming off is another.

Personally I would corner her and clear the air, all the while framing it that it's her problem, not yours. Show a bit of amusement while asking if she's upset that you did a nice thing for her friend. convey that she's a twisted mess of emotions and that you're unshakeable.

Reagarding writing a song for her...

O...

M...

G...!!!!

That is the weakest thing a man can do. It shows her that you are totally in her power and women hate that. The woman should ALWAYS be doing the chasing, although that chasing can take the form of her "presenting herself" in order to give you an easy time of "catching" her.

Never, ever overtly pursue a woman. You need to demonstrate to all women that you are the sh!t and that they need to get on the stick (no pun intended) and behave right in order to get you. Women love to walk around guessing, "Does he like me?". It's the direct opposite of how we guys are. We want to know what's going on, while women savor the guessing and not being sure. It's all an emotional rush for her.

A man must always show RESERVE when dealing with women. The attitude is, "You must prove yourself in order to get me". Writing songs, poems, giving candy, flowers, and all that other stuff is weak and is transactional in nature ("I hope you will like me if I do this for you").

On another note, just in a general sense, in an office situation where a man has a target and can't think of a way to approach, he can ease in by doing friendly banter and teasing the other girls in the office. Get those other girls hot for you and the target will feel the need to get some of that for herself.

 

[CrimsonPanther]

Ohh... thats not the problem here, like I stated earlier... most find me attractive..I always have options, so talking to more I dont think would do much...its the fact that I had this one, and I fukked up... now it seems like she playing hard to get... makes me want her even more....but dont wanna seem desperate... so my main question was should I just throw in the towel or keep trying.....

but after reading some of the DJ book or w.e..... seems like you guys want me to do the reverse role... my usual mr. nice guy role usually works all the time but u guys want me to do how she is doing... be the guy that's showing little to no interest, not really being available, "The Great Catch" lol.. basically turn the tables how she is acting ect ect.

haha if you put it like that it sounds weird ))


the main thing for me personally is (it doesn't matter how good looking you are) to not get emotionally involved with a girl to the point i become needy and depend on her to be happy.

as a basic rule:
1. your goal is to bone her. not to marry her, or love her till the end of times, not even long term relationship. just plain good old sex.
2. AFTER you had sex, it is HER job to make it a relationship and yours to accept it if you want. it is her job to act like you do now no offense meant.

some guys here on SS seem to already see this, which is a good thing. some don't. they will learn the hard way.

i can also only say to read the DJ bible, but WITH RESERVATIONS AND WITH A PINCH OF SALT. important. and not to take literally, try to see the bigger picture there. ask questions like "WHY" and try to find answers.

and try to like more than one girl. you have an amount of "like" inside you and if you spend it all on one girl, you will get sick and more importantly: SHE will get sick of it.

just use your head man women don't find it sexy when a man goes needy on them. they SAY they do, but they don't. forget logic.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Rookie Mistakes, Don't Trip

bThere is this girl that I work with (at same job I was talking about above)

Don't Sh*t Where You Eat.

1) Though the temptation to holla your co-workers if great, (due to familiarity,) you must do whatever you can to resist this temptation because having a workplace romance can go horribly wrong.

2) The purpose of your job is provide you income to supplement your lifestyle, (i.e. giving you the ability to get out there and holla at chicks,) not fraternizing with and trying to f*ck your female -coworkers.

3) If you do get with one of your co-workers you'll end up being with around her ALL DAY! Playing on the familiarity theme, it breeds contempt, plus also it can effect your work performance.

4) When your relationship comes to an end, you'll still have to SEE this chick at work which could lead to things I listed in example 1 and 3 happening.

If it's that important for you holla at your female co-workers, wait until they quit or wait until you've given your two week notice.[/b]

.. she is extremely beautiful

Really dude? Post a picture of her and let's see. More than likely this chick is a 5 or a 7 at the most. Don't put so much on chicks, when you this you wind up thinking the chick is more than what she actually is and you'd end up in the situation you're in now, with crippling approach anxiety.

Ive always wanted to say something to her...but sense im shy I always freeze up when she walks past me

Do the Newbie Drill to get over your approach anixety.

she is acting real "ghetto" giving the next day.. a group of us (co-workers) go out to lunch, again she is with her friend, and is really loud and acting just weird, so now I have n my head that she acts 1 way with her friend and another when its just us

Now ask yourself, you REALLY want to keep the company of chick who's ratchet? Being ratchet, "ghetto," isn't a positive character trait, is indicative of decision making skills, shows who her peer group is, and isn't feminine. Ratchet chicks create problems for themselves and those around them.

I have a girlfriend jokingly at the table, and she responded really fast with "HUH? NO HE DONT, HE BETTER NOT"

Finally, you did something right. Make a note of this and log it into your memory banks. What you did was display what is known as "social proof." Social proof is something being popular because everybody else is doing it, (for example tattoos,) By saying you have a girlfriend says to babygirl that other women see value in and what to be with you. No chick wants to be with a dude who isn't attractive to other women.

then a few minutes later she was saying "im tired of being single, i want a boyfriend"....

Don't read too much into this statement. Fat people are tried of being fat, however, very few of are taking the necessary takes to get into shape. If this chick is as hot as you say she is, believe me she would be in a relationship.

so im thinking to myself, YESSSS im in there.... and then... smh... here comes the fk up... its her friends birthday (the girl I mentioned above who she acts crazy with)... & its time to pay for the meals... the girl I like paid for her food and when her friend was about to pay.. I did the dumbest thing ever.. i said since its your bday Ill pay for your meal... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO whyyyyyy did I do that!!!!....

Yeah, that was hella dumb.

I mean I would have paid for the girl I like meal

Be glad you didn't. If you di you would have been f*cked in the game. Read this thread. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=210171

well, the girl I like, stormed out of the restaurant... started her truck.... and left

She was mad because you weren't giving her any attention.

Since I do music, I went to the studio and made a song for her

DON'T EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER DO THAT SH*T AGAIN! EVER! The next time you get the urge to a a woman a song it should be for your mama or your granny. Songs should only be written for women who have meaning in your life, not chicks who you merely want to give a sloppy facial to.

and had my friend tell her that I did so, and she said "thats weird" I thought she would say that was sweet noone ever did that for me, but her reaction was the opposite

What your friend "said," and what she would do if some dude wrote a song for her is diametrically opposed to each other. If some dude she was already attracted to, (and perhaps she was ****ing,) were to give write her a song, she would think it was sweet.

If some random dude from work were to write her a song, she would trip off how "beta," dude is, marvel at the fact that men actually do this in life, and she might start think that you have stalker tendencies. All that sh*t you see in movies and hear in songs about dudes writing women songs, then ending up in loving caring relationships is fantasy, "that's bullsh*t."

---Ohh yeah she also admitted to liking/dating bad guys/thugs.. in her words "i like a guy that will slap me around and tell me what to do"

Again, you need to learn "w*manese." What she's actually saying is that "I need a guy who can successfully convey to me that he'll be able to provide for me and protect me from evil doers."

Since time immemorial, woman have had an innate need for any man they deal with to do the two things that I just listed. In the past, it was easier for men convey this attributes, however, since women's liberation movement, men displaying "alpha male qualities," is an anathema. Believing the things we heard on Oprah and seeing how their mothers, sisters, and other women treated by men and hearing them lament on lack of "good men," guys (being well intententioned,) try to be man woman claim they want, but often times finding out the hard way that isn't want they want.

now i dont even want to talk to her because I will feel like im nagging.... so what should I do? leave this situation alone, or keep trying?

Which is why you shouldn't holla at your co-workers.

she just seems turned off and now I feel kinda like a lame because I know im not the type she normally dates.

She gave you a sh*t test and you failed. You feel "lame," because you were rejected by some ratchet a$$ female who doesn't have sense enough to make quality choices in the men decides to date and have sex with? :crackup:

I just dont understand why a female would want a guy that would end up in jail vs a guy with a promising future]

Is this chick black?

 

[TooNice]

Atom Smasher.... the song thing ALWAYS, and I do mean ALWAYS works for me... I could go to a restaurant, see a waitress name tag, use that go to studio make a song put her name in it return to that restaurant with flowers and a cd... with my number... It always work, I get called back... and texts all the time, and they are STUCK on me from that day forward..... so its may seem lame and would be lame if the song sucks, but the fact I do music for a living and it sounds like hit records.. it works for me man ONLY reason it didnt work in this instance is 1. she havent even heard it and 2. i already ****ed up in advance so this situation is a lil diff.

 

[TooNice]

CrimsonPanther good advice homie lol

 

[TooNice]

Maximus u typed too much to reply to everything but... Umm 5 nahh, everyone in the store KNOW she bad... hell yeah she ratchett.. but **** im not tryna marry her like Crimson said the goal is to smash she can be ghetto, the chick look good lol...and she mixed


and to respond to your dont **** where you eat thing, I get all that but... this job is just temp for me.. to bring in extra cash for holidays I do music full time... so after xmas I wont be working there..
...so they wont see me for long

 

[veriv]

That girl sounds like a ****ing idiot.

 

[TooNice]

U wanted a pic...so here goes, regardless what u rate her... she my type... and no 5 in my book.. to each his own

 

[Maximus Rex]

Rex Gives Her a 7

Oh my, she is cute. However, I think giving a ratchet chick a song kinda of f*cked you in the game. You have to realize that it wasn't the song that got you over, it was your game. The song is just the icing on the cake.