Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Did I play this right? (has to do with stripper)

backbreaker

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okay, I just started seeing a stripper around a week ago. I invited her over my house for the first time the night before last. We kicked it, but she had just gotten off work and I didn't want to have sex with her and think about all of thoose other guys on her, plus it was like 5 in the morning and I had to be at work at 8.

So yesterday was one of her days off, and I tell her, "hey, come over, I want to see you". She says she will see what she is doing and call me back, which she did, and told me her and her friend were going to a popular hang out spot. Ironically, that's what I had planned to do in the case that she flaked out. So she invited me over her house while she was getting ready to go, and I respectfully declined; I am not driving 25 mintues to watch a woman get dressed. I told her I would see her up there.

So when I get there, she isn't there yet, so I post up and have a couple of drinks, mingle and she calls me and asks where I am. I tell her. She sees me for no more than 10 seconds, and she sees another guy she knows and is sitting/dancing with him the entire night. She was right by the dance floor so I had to pass her to get there. Everyonce in a while while i was on the dance floor I would glance at her and she wo uld be starring at me. My rational was that we aren't dating, we did in fact just really meet, and I didn't bring her up here, she is free to do what the hell she wants, although I do think of her as a tad bit immature that I couldn't get a dance at all after she wanted to see me up there.

So they closed at 2am, and I am a night owl so I wasn't ready to go to sleep. I went to a strip club, which was again, ironically the strippers place of work, but i knew she wasn't going to be there, she had the day off. It's the only place in town to get a drink after 2am.

So when I walk in, the security guard says "hey, carmen (the girls stage name) called up here looking for you" so I called her and she asks where i was and I told her. She then asks me was some guy up there and who was he talking to. I told her I am not her damn spy and if she wanted to know come find out for herself. I wasn't mad, but nevertheless, I am not going to let her think of me as a girly man, becuase i'm not.

So around 30 mintues later, I am chatting up one of the other strippers who I am very cool with and the girl I am seeing walks in, looking destrught. She sees me with another girl in my lap, smiling, having a good time. She says something to some guy and leaves.

Around another 30 mintues later, she calls me again and asks me what I am doing. I haven't yet left so I told her I was still there. She asks me is that guy still there. I tell her to come and find out for herself and not to ask me again. She gets an attitude and says " well I was calling to hook up with you but you got an attitude problem", and I told her "I don't have an attitude problem, but you don't pay me to be your personal detective". She then goes off and says some crap and I tell her I am leaving in a couple of mintues and asks her to meet me over my house. She says she is pretty tired but she will think about it. I called her back around 10 mintues later and she said she needed to go to sleep.

On my way home, I called her to make sure she made it home okay.

I mean, the girl is in fact a stripper. I went into it knowing that I would not be the only one she is dating, at least now, and she isn't the only one I am seeing. That part doesn't bother me in the least bit. I just don't like the head games, I think they are unncessary. it's like she was trying to provoke emotion.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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PEPE LE PIU

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Well, you were a little bit abrupt.

In the club she saw you there while she was giving attention to the other guy, and she knows that you saw her too (i don't understand why that happened, maybe he was a good customer, maybe she wanted you to approach her and talk first, maybe it was something just dumb that she did)

After that you go to the club where she works "ironically". Seems to me that you wanted her to catch you having a good time with some other stripper. So you basicaly wanted to exchange an eye for an eye.

You contact her (you call her and she calls you) and you answer like you are pissed off and bothered of her attitude (not too cool).

So far the night is a dissaster...

After that you invite her at your home. What an attitude shift!
You call 10 min's later and an your way home to make sure she made home ok. WTF??? Now you care?

1. You had to bang her when you had the chance. After work they are so horny that may think you are gay for not advancing

2. You had to talk to her on the club

3. You are afraid that if some woman shows signs of dissrespect she may take you for AFC. That's a sign of insecurity.

4. You had to respond with C+F and not show your self pissed off.

5. The whole strip club thing was stupid. You were her food now and if she sees you move easy to an other flower means that for you she is just a stripper who you want to have sex. Believe me, there are many of h0rny men that want to fak for free, around her. BTW all the strippers are after the money, but what they miss the most is a LTR. That is the need that they try to fulfil when they date people. They need to feel like normal women.

6. Their job has a lot of intrigue and dissapointments so that is why they search for pleasant people to be around.

So the conclusion is: She was testing you the whole night, you responded with a "**** YOU HOE, I CAN PAY ANOTHER STRIPPER", and when she throwed hint's that you missede an oportunity, you turned into a sweet carying guy. i.e. you undestand that you lost your opportunity and wanted to recover.

Their IL is not soooo high at the begining so when you give them the hard time they leave, there is another man waiting in the line.


PS: Believe me, strippers are the best in understanding men, but they screw it up when they try to act like a normal woman.
 

squirrels

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Originally posted by backbreaker
okay, I just started seeing a stripper around a week ago. I invited her over my house for the first time the night before last. We kicked it, but she had just gotten off work and I didn't want to have sex with her and think about all of thoose other guys on her, plus it was like 5 in the morning and I had to be at work at 8.
Mistake #1: If you have a problem with other guys being on her, you may as well not be messing with her. Most strippers have been with their share of guys, both professionally AND intimately. They're they party-types. Also, if she happened to WANT to fvck that night, you shouldn't have invited her over at 5AM if you were in no state to hang with her. Really, a girl has no business being at my house at 5AM "just to hang out." :p


So yesterday was one of her days off, and I tell her, "hey, come over, I want to see you". She says she will see what she is doing and call me back, which she did, and told me her and her friend were going to a popular hang out spot. Ironically, that's what I had planned to do in the case that she flaked out.
Mistake #2: Do NOT let a stripper lead you ANYWHERE. At this point, you should've been like, "Have fun" and hung up and hit her back another time. You are now entering that "party world"...unless you can put up as well as she can, don't even get involved.


So she invited me over her house while she was getting ready to go, and I respectfully declined; I am not driving 25 mintues to watch a woman get dressed. I told her I would see her up there.

So when I get there, she isn't there yet, so I post up and have a couple of drinks, mingle and she calls me and asks where I am. I tell her. She sees me for no more than 10 seconds, and she sees another guy she knows and is sitting/dancing with him the entire night.
Mistake #3: DO NOT tolerate this kind of disrespect. This is BULLSH!T. This is when you should just leave. Of course, as stated in mistake #2, you shouldn't have been there in the FIRST place. If you just WANTED to be there and hang regardless of what SHE was doing, then you should've been macking other chicks. Turn the game on her and show her that she is the "replaceable" one.

She was right by the dance floor so I had to pass her to get there. Everyonce in a while while i was on the dance floor I would glance at her and she wo uld be starring at me. My rational was that we aren't dating, we did in fact just really meet, and I didn't bring her up here, she is free to do what the hell she wants, although I do think of her as a tad bit immature that I couldn't get a dance at all after she wanted to see me up there.

So they closed at 2am, and I am a night owl so I wasn't ready to go to sleep. I went to a strip club, which was again, ironically the strippers place of work,
Mistake #4: This is self-explanatory.


but i knew she wasn't going to be there, she had the day off. It's the only place in town to get a drink after 2am.

So when I walk in, the security guard says "hey, carmen (the girls stage name) called up here looking for you" so I called her and she asks where i was and I told her. She then asks me was some guy up there and who was he talking to. I told her I am not her damn spy and if she wanted to know come find out for herself. I wasn't mad, but nevertheless, I am not going to let her think of me as a girly man, becuase i'm not.
ABOUT BLOODY TIME YOU STARTED ACTING LIKE A MAN!!



So around 30 mintues later, I am chatting up one of the other strippers who I am very cool with and the girl I am seeing walks in, looking destrught. She sees me with another girl in my lap, smiling, having a good time. She says something to some guy and leaves.

Around another 30 mintues later, she calls me again and asks me what I am doing. I haven't yet left so I told her I was still there. She asks me is that guy still there. I tell her to come and find out for herself and not to ask me again. She gets an attitude and says " well I was calling to hook up with you but you got an attitude problem", and I told her "I don't have an attitude problem, but you don't pay me to be your personal detective". She then goes off and says some crap and I tell her I am leaving in a couple of mintues and asks her to meet me over my house.
That's actually pretty pimp. If she HAD shown up, you DEFINITELY should've banged her this time.

She says she is pretty tired but she will think about it. I called her back around 10 mintues later and she said she needed to go to sleep.

On my way home, I called her to make sure she made it home okay.
Mistake #5: You finally played the pimp-hand, but you folded it when you started calling her. You shouldn't have called her back after that. Either she shows...or she doesn't. Don't act like this girl has such a high value. You can call her and make sure she's OK after you bang the snot out of her. NOT before. Do NOT reward bad behavior.



I mean, the girl is in fact a stripper. I went into it knowing that I would not be the only one she is dating, at least now, and she isn't the only one I am seeing. That part doesn't bother me in the least bit. I just don't like the head games, I think they are unncessary. it's like she was trying to provoke emotion.
Of course she is. She gets paid to do it. SHe's a PROFESSIONAL with invoking emotions.

If you want to mess around with wh0res, you better play the pimp.
 

backbreaker

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let me clairfy some things...


Mistake #1: If you have a problem with other guys being on her, you may as well not be messing with her. Most strippers have been with their share of guys, both professionally AND intimately. They're they party-types. Also, if she happened to WANT to fvck that night, you shouldn't have invited her over at 5AM if you were in no state to hang with her. Really, a girl has no business being at my house at 5AM "just to hang out."

It's one thing to know a girl is seeing other guys, it's another thing to **** one after they have done god knows what at work. I like to think of stippers as normal people with odd jobs, which require them to be professional hoes. That and it was 5am in the morning.

Mistake #2: Do NOT let a stripper lead you ANYWHERE. At this point, you should've been like, "Have fun" and hung up and hit her back another time. You are now entering that "party world"...unless you can put up as well as she can, don't even get involved.


This is a place I go every thursday night, she didn't lead me anywhere. I had originally planned to go there anyway but when I saw she had the day off, I decided i would attempt to take her back to my place first. Little rock is only so big, so there aren't that may "hang out" spots to rotate, and I refuse to not go where she is becuase I don't want to run into her.


Mistake #3: DO NOT tolerate this kind of disrespect. This is BULLSH!T. This is when you should just leave. Of course, as stated in mistake #2, you shouldn't have been there in the FIRST place. If you just WANTED to be there and hang regardless of what SHE was doing, then you should've been macking other chicks. Turn the game on her and show her that she is the "replaceable" one.

Again, I wasn't there waiting on her, I was going to "see" her while i was up there. I got there earlier then I should have, so the only thing to do was to sit back and have a couple of drinks and check out the crowd. She was late becuase she was picking up a friend who was running late, which is in fact true.


Mistake #5: You finally played the pimp-hand, but you folded it when you started calling her. You shouldn't have called her back after that. Either she shows...or she doesn't. Don't act like this girl has such a high value. You can call her and make sure she's OK after you bang the snot out of her. NOT before. Do NOT reward bad behavior.Mistake #5: You finally played the pimp-hand, but you folded it when you started calling her. You shouldn't have called her back after that. Either she shows...or she doesn't. Don't act like this girl has such a high value. You can call her and make sure she's OK after you bang the snot out of her. NOT before. Do NOT reward bad behavior.

In retrospect, I shouldn't have called her back, but considering that I had been drinking all night, I could have done much worse. I was trying to get a decision out of her while I was still out.

I called her to make sure she got home okay, that's just a polite thing to do when dealing with women, rather she is acting *****y or not. I will never let a woman make me because a shell of myself because I am too caught up in playing mind games.

You call 10 min's later and an your way home to make sure she made home ok. WTF??? Now you care?

uh...yeah, I do. She is young and had been drinking, it's what you are SUPPOSED to do, ***** or not.

The women she saw me me with is actually a "real" friend of mine, even though she is a stripper, and she is a lesbian, and everyone knows it, so it's not like I was trying to hit on her, she was telling me about this guy who came from a lap dance (pretty funny stuff)


Anyway here is an update...

Saturday night I decided I was going to go a club, the most popular one in town. I get a call from the stripper around 10ish to see what I am doing, I told her I was taking a nap so I can go to the club later that night. She told me she would be up there as well.

I had already had plans to take someone else with me, so I could really care less if she was up there or not. However, she got there around an hour after me and my friend arrived.

Low and behold, she pulls the same **** as she did 2 nights before. Comes and to me for 1 or so mintue then goes off and dances wtih this some guy the entire night.

Now me and her have an understanding that I don't buy girls I don't take out with me drinks, so she knows I wont' buy her anything, so i don't have a problem with her using her natural talents to get drinks out of guys at clubs. But you would think I would be able to get a dance.

However, at this point I decide enough is enough of the games (actually younger than me and i'm 21) so I grab her and tell her to come follow me to a quit part of the club so we can chat for a mintue to see what's going on. She looks at me and mouths something, but she didn't come. At that point, I said that was her last strike.

Remember the entire time I had another girl with me, but she is in a relaitonship and she is aware I have other friends, and until she gets out of the relaitonship she is in I will keep other friends. The rest of the night she did everything she could to make this girl jealous.

Everytime I saw the stripper at the club, she would give me a strong glare.

I don't know what this chicks problem is, but I don't plan on sticking around to find out. It could be her best friend, who has to be the worst **** block on earth, we can't stand each other, she is a fat drunk who is mad at me becuase i wouldn't hook her up with my best friend a couple of months back. She is with her everywhere they go, including the last too nights.

I will give this chick one more shot with me around and me only. If she ruins that, then the hell with her. I am too sucessful wtih attracting women to play mind games with *****s.
 

squirrels

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Originally posted by backbreaker
let me clairfy some things...


It's one thing to know a girl is seeing other guys, it's another thing to **** one after they have done god knows what at work. I like to think of stippers as normal people with odd jobs, which require them to be professional hoes. That and it was 5am in the morning.
If you weren't going to f her at 5AM right after she got off of work, she should not have been invited to your house at 5AM after she got off of work.

She has NO business at your house unless she is banging you. She's not your girlfriend. She's not your roommate. Let HER worry about whether she wants to be f'ed after a long day at work or not.

You think strippers don't EVER get horny rubbing themselves all over guys? :eek:


This is a place I go every thursday night, she didn't lead me anywhere. I had originally planned to go there anyway but when I saw she had the day off, I decided i would attempt to take her back to my place first. Little rock is only so big, so there aren't that may "hang out" spots to rotate, and I refuse to not go where she is becuase I don't want to run into her.
Fine then, but then stop glancing back at her. Once she blew you off, she should have been OUT of your conscious world for the rest of the night. DONE. You should've been having a good time and macking chicks like she never existed. BALLS to her.


Again, I wasn't there waiting on her, I was going to "see" her while i was up there. I got there earlier then I should have, so the only thing to do was to sit back and have a couple of drinks and check out the crowd. She was late becuase she was picking up a friend who was running late, which is in fact true.
Wait wait wait...contradiction here:

You weren't up there waiting on her, BUT:

-You made a reference to being there earlier than you "should have", even though supposedly you're not waiting on her

-You talk about her "running late", even though you were going separately and weren't there to meet each other

-You said "the only thing to do" was to sit back and relax and check out the crowd...what else IS there to do??

Say what you want...you were waiting on her. Otherwise it wouldn't have mattered WHAT she did in that club.

In retrospect, I shouldn't have called her back, but considering that I had been drinking all night, I could have done much worse. I was trying to get a decision out of her while I was still out.

I called her to make sure she got home okay, that's just a polite thing to do when dealing with women, rather she is acting *****y or not. I will never let a woman make me because a shell of myself because I am too caught up in playing mind games.

You call 10 min's later and an your way home to make sure she made home ok. WTF??? Now you care?

uh...yeah, I do. She is young and had been drinking, it's what you are SUPPOSED to do, ***** or not.
If you're her father, then you shouldn't be chasing after her sexually anyway!

Oh wait, you're NOT her father?? Well then why do YOU care when she's young and out drinking? Especially after she disrespected you and TRIED her damnedest to make you into her personal messenger boy/ass. You're not her parents. You're not her boyfriend. You have NO responsibility to "make sure this girl got home OK."

But that's not why you were calling, was it? You were calling because you wanted to find out who she was f**king that night instead of you. To you, her "getting home OK" meant her "getting home without some other guy that's not you". Again, say what you want. That's what you were doing.


Anyway here is an update...

Saturday night I decided I was going to go a club, the most popular one in town. I get a call from the stripper around 10ish to see what I am doing, I told her I was taking a nap so I can go to the club later that night. She told me she would be up there as well.

I had already had plans to take someone else with me, so I could really care less if she was up there or not. However, she got there around an hour after me and my friend arrived.

Low and behold, she pulls the same **** as she did 2 nights before. Comes and to me for 1 or so mintue then goes off and dances wtih this some guy the entire night.

Now me and her have an understanding that I don't buy girls I don't take out with me drinks, so she knows I wont' buy her anything, so i don't have a problem with her using her natural talents to get drinks out of guys at clubs. But you would think I would be able to get a dance.

However, at this point I decide enough is enough of the games (actually younger than me and i'm 21) so I grab her and tell her to come follow me to a quit part of the club so we can chat for a mintue to see what's going on. She looks at me and mouths something, but she didn't come. At that point, I said that was her last strike.

I don't know what this chicks problem is, but I don't plan on sticking around to find out. It could be her best friend, who has to be the worst **** block on earth, we can't stand each other, she is a fat drunk who is mad at me becuase i wouldn't hook her up with my best friend a couple of months back. She is with her everywhere they go, including the last too nights.
Or it could be that her "backup guy" is getting all p!ssy because he can't be prime-time. (BTW, that's you, champ...the guy who always hangs out at the club and gives her social proof, so if she gets too horny and doesn't find some other stud willing to BANG a STRIPPER, she can always take you home)



I will give this chick one more shot with me around and me only. If she ruins that, then the hell with her. I am too sucessful wtih attracting women to play mind games with *****s.
Then WHY are you giving her another chance to f**k with your head??

It's time to dig your heels in and push back. Enough is enough. STOP trying to impress this TRASH STRIPPER SLUT PUPPY!! Get a hold of your goddam balls. :mad:
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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backbreaker

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I said I had to be at work at 8 in the morning, not her. If we would have had sex it would have been at least an hour, meaning I would have gotten around an hour of sleep, and I can't operate on that.

Wait wait wait...contradiction here:

You weren't up there waiting on her, BUT:

-You made a reference to being there earlier than you "should have", even though supposedly you're not waiting on her

-You talk about her "running late", even though you were going separately and weren't there to meet each other

-You said "the only thing to do" was to sit back and relax and check out the crowd...what else IS there to do??

Say what you want...you were waiting on her. Otherwise it wouldn't have mattered WHAT she did in that club.



When i said earlier than I should have, everybody that goes out has been someone when it still kinda dead, that's what I am reffering to. I shou ld have gotten there around 11:00, 11:15ish, instead i got there at 10:30. That had noting to do with her, but with the crowd not being jumpin as I would have liked.

She said she was going to up there at around 11:45, and she got there at 12:15 because of her friend. Regardless if she was up there to see me or not, she was in fact running late.

I mean, what else am I supposed to do when this chick sits with a guy right at the tip of the dance floor? Not dance? You have to be kidding me.

You are overanalyzing things. I doubt you ever go out and have real experiences.

Again, overanalyzing. I mean, I am not a jerk. I really was worried that she got home okay. She lives out in the country and had been drinking the entire night. If that is being a father than so be it, but I do care a tad bit about people I know, *****s or not, being safe. If I was in a wreck or I had been drinking, and I saw a girl I cheated on but she knew me very well, I don't want her to not call and make sure i am okay just because I chated on her. That's when you put bull**** aside and make sure everything is fine.



It's guys like you who overanalyzie themselves out of relationships and chances with women. Did I do everything perfectly? Hell no, not by any stretch of the imanation, but you seem to have more emotionaly at stake then I do.

To be honest, I know, or at least have a general idea of who every relationship is going to end before I get into it. I mean, I have actually dated a stripper before, and have a couple of female friends who are strippers, and I know enough to know that all are not total trash and some are decent people. But at the end of the day, a stripper more times than not is a)after your money, b) a consusfed little girl or c) just a hoe.

It doesn't suprise me one bit that she if flaky, even if she wasn't a tripper. She is a young attractive women. Most young attractive women are flaky. You deal with it.

What you are trying to tell me to do is be something I am not, and don't confuse that with being an AFC. And AFC is someone who will do anything to be with a girl, who submits to women and makes them the center of their universise. However, I am not going to be mad at a girl when I am not mad. I am not going to not call to check and make sure someone is okay when it's called for, regardless if I am ****ing her or not. If a girl is going to not sleep with me because of these factors, then so be it, I get enough from other women.

About me going up there to see her at the bar, Yes I expected to see her, but it wasn't a date. My sole purpose wasn't to spend time with her. Hell I really don't care if I would have just talked to her for 5 mintues, there were over 700 people in that bar, you know how much macking I can get done? But she went out of her way to be seen wtih someone else, and that's a childish game. Sitting right next to the dance floor? That's pretty childish.


Or it could be that her "backup guy" is getting all p!ssy because he can't be prime-time. (BTW, that's you, champ...the guy who always hangs out at the club and gives her social proof, so if she gets too horny and doesn't find some other stud willing to BANG a STRIPPER, she can always take you home)

This really doesn't make much sense, considering she was following ME at the club and I had a date anyway.
 
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