"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Did I overreact, was I needy? advice needed

DjBoogie

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There is this girl I used to know, I start talking to her again, she says she wants me to hang out with her and her friend. I tell her i'm busy until the weekend, and she said she is going away, so ok, when she gets back. I had a change of plans so I text her...No answer. I text her the next day(mistake?) and nothing again. Saw her on IM the next day.

went something like this (roughly)

me: Why didn't you text me back
her: I've busy all week and i'm tired and I worked last night
me: It was 2 days ago
her: sorry I've been real busy
me: If you are going to jerk me around, just forget it
her: I'm not jerking you around, i've just been busy
me: too busy to take 2 seconds to text me back?
her: well what did you want?
me: to come to soandso
her: I would have come but I had to work(@#&!@ how would she know if she didnt answer my text?!):box:

I don't remember what I said after this but there wasn't much then I left.
She probably has been busy though, she is going on a trip today..but still.

Should I have let it go when she said she wasn't jerking me around. Am I losing my mind? I need an outside opinion on this, I have been under alot of pressure lately with school and personal problems and have had trouble sleeping. What do I say to her now?

Do I...me....of all people..apologize? I don't think she got my point so I kept picking. Should I tell her I overreacted but thought what she did was disrespectful, Did I overreact, ugh, thank you.
 
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"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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danielzxc

Senior Don Juan
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lol, yeah, it's not looking good for ya. Being a jerk is okay when she is already hot for you...especially after you've fvvkked her. Before that it's just...annoying. I mean, do you really think you sound like a fun, exciting person to be with when you pout like that? I wouldn't be surprised if she's thinking "thank God I didn't go to soandso with this idiot".

Do I...me....of all people..apologize? I don't think she got my point so I kept picking[/i]

Just what was your point? What text did you actually send her? If it was something like "my plans have changed.call me", well, dude, screw that. I hardly ever answer texts like that unless I have nothing to do. I just don't know what the other person wants, so if I'm already busy, I don't wanna call in case I get into some long phone convo where I have to invent excuses about why I can't do soandso. If you're text was direct and you said "i'm free on soandso day. Let's go to so andso. Let me know if you're coming." Then yeah, you've got a legit reason to be upset and that she "disprespected" you. Otherwise, get over yourself. And next time...why not call her instead of texting, because then you avoid problems like this.
 

DjBoogie

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Yeah, I think your right, I take it an apology is in order, so how should I word it?
 

danielzxc

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Hmm, something like this (a text would fine, in case you start stumbling over your words and apologize more than necessary and then look like too much of a chump):

"Hey. Listen, I really wanna apologize for getting mad at ya the other day. Only reason I was upset was 'cos it would have been seriously fun to go to soandso with you, so it sucks that it didn't happen. Let's go do soandso on suchandsuchday, it will be cool fun".

Or somethign like that. You wanna apologize but then switch the focus from what you are apologizing about to something else, and also, in your case, to once again give the impression that you would be fun to be with (to make up for the impression that being with you is an ordeal, which you gave in the IM convo).
 

DjBoogie

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Alright, thats sound pretty solid to me. I sent something similar to that, if she doesn't get back to me, thats that.

I think I may be an attention Wh0re though, any thoughts on this and how I can deal with that?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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thefonz

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I don't think you played that very well bro.

Your frame of mind is not good, work on that before you talk to her again. You won't even need to apologize if you just change your attitude next time you see her. Apologizing would be admitting your weakness. Apologies have their place, but this is not one of those times. You need to be more sexual and humorous. Go for a run or doing something fun before you talk to her again. Clear out your head of this neediness and seriousness about getting her to hang out with you. Trust me.
 
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