"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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did i mess up?

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frusciante1234

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there was this girl who came to my school about a week before school ended.
we started talking and basically just really connected, alot. We talked for hours, the whole time we are flirting with each other alot. She gives me her number without me even asking for it. So I told her I'd call her sometime. School ended and I graduated two days later. At graduation I was waiting in line before it talking to my friends when she suddenly appeared behind me. So she definatley went looking for me. (she wasn;t graduating) Her dad was right next to her and started taking pictures of me and her together. (which kinda weirded me out) I had to go and I told her I would call her. So then about 5 days later I call her up, and she seems somewhat excited that I am calling and says we can hang out tommorow and she will call me. Now its been 3 days and she hasn't called. So I;m wondering if I somehow messed things up or if she just maybe forgot (she is really forgettful)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Sean O

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First, I'd say that unless her dad is just a psycho, she's probably placed you on a pedestal and told her parents that she's got a boyfriend. Keep that in mind as you determine if you want to pursue this.

Second, as far as the phone thing goes, you generally don't want to leave it up to the girl to call you back... but I wouldn't worry about it with this girl as she seems to be very interested in you. In fact, this is probably a unique kind of test that girls with high interest do. See, she's afraid of having her heart broken because her interest in you is so high, so her plan is to not call you and see if you call back. If you don't, then according to her you were either planning to use her or you weren't interested in her all that much to begin with. If you do call her back, then the interest in reciprocated and she can feel "safer" in going out with you.

Of course, you should another day or two before calling her, and this goes without saying, but don't sound too needy when you do. If she flakes a second time, next her.
 
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Skilla_Staz

Master Don Juan
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It's been three days and she hasn't called you. Can we say overanalyzing? You didn't call her for FIVE days. She's only given you three.
 
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frusciante1234

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well what should I say to her when I call her again? should I get slightly annoyed at her or act like I'm calling for the first time again?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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