"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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did i mess something up here?

seth03

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Quick background: extremely hot girl from high school (I am 25 now) who I used to hang with (but never kissed or banged) sends me a message on facebook in middle of may saying how buff I am and that I am looking really good (I gained 40lbs of muscle mass since high school), and asks me where I have been and why we haven't been hanging out since I moved back in 2008 (I recently moved back to the city I grew up in in order to attend med school).

I messeage her back (in mid may) saying that I will be extremely busy until late June, and that I would contact her then, and that we would hang out. She said she was looking forward to it.

Now: Its late june. I send her a text (first communication since mid may):

Me, texting to her: "Next week?".

Her response: "?".

Me: "You and I are going out next week".

(1 minute later)

Me: "I have a test on thurs so I am busy until then. Thurs night?"

This all happened 3 hours ago. I have not received a response. Did I **** something up? I am so confused.


My question is: Should I call her? Should I not even make any more attempts at contact until she does (i think this would be wiser). Or should I just wait until wed or thurs next week and shoot her a ring then (possibly wisest decision)? I can't tell if my messages were too eager or made me look too desperate.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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seth03

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Ah...thanks so much. You know...maybe she got a new phone and doesn't have my number in there. The last time I talked to her was june of last year, and i know she had my number then b/c she knew who i was right away. But she probably got a new phone within that time...who knows. For some reason I always thought texts were supreme...i've had such good luck with them in the past. I understand what you are saying about the non-confrontational stuff though...and how its different in this situation. I will call her next week. Thanks so much man.
 

DavenJuan

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your text messages where pretty vague.

i (personally) would have contacted her via phone call first or even facebook since thats a def. way of getting ahold of her.

whats done is done. so at this point i would make sure she knows who i am ..

" by the way this is Seth, get back to me so I may be able to leave that night open"

pretty simple. but dont assume to much. maybe shes out of town, dont know the person texting her, or just was busy at the moment.
 

Mr. Me

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>> I am so confused.>>

It's not confusing... she's not interested in having this dialogue with you.

My guess is: Between mid May and late June she found other guys to be with.

Next time, don't put off a girl for a month and a half. Especially if she's anywhere near hot. Other guys will move in.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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jophil28

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Mr. Me said:
>> I am so confused.>>

It's not confusing... she's not interested in having this dialogue with you.

My guess is: Between mid May and late June she found other guys to be with.

Next time, don't put off a girl for a month and a half. Especially if she's anywhere near hot. Other guys will move in.
Agree.. she is not confused, she has lost interest or transferred it to another guy.
Even though your text was anonymous and a little vague, it contained enough info to trigger instant curiosity in a woman and, if I know woman like I think I do, she also has a magnificent memory.

The essential message from her is the absence of a reply .
That IS, in fact, her reply to your invite..
 

NewMan

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This is the reason why Text message ranks #2 to a phone call.

Men pick up the phone - boys use text.

there is NEVER a mixed up singal or an unknown with a phone call.
 

BDude004

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Did she give you her number in your facebook correspondence? If you just texted her with a number you had from 7 years ago, it could very well be someone else who sent you "?"
 
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