"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Did I just **** up? How do I fix this now? (pretty long)

Goatbruise

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I need some help here, I'm not a great writer but ill try to re count the events that happened.

During summer I was looking through a friend's photos when I noticed a cute girl so I asked her if her friend was seeing anyone cause I thought she was cute. She replied no and told me she'd introduce us. She forgot and so did I for almost all summer till towards the end when I learned that the girl I thought was cute was going to the same University as me. Well I decided to talk to her at orientation when I saw her and we had a good time, we ended up ditching orientation to blaze and walk around it was fun, I didn’t think this was date, and I assumed she didn’t either.
So I decided to ask her for another chill session, and she went for it, we got baked and listened to some music, nothing big, I met her new roommate and she got something to eat. She ate, while I just sat there, I wasn’t hungry. Again at the time I really didn’t think of this as a date or anything.
Now towards our fourth or fifth hangout I was starting to like her a lot more. I suggested we go to a party together, she went for it, but the party ended up sucking and she asked me if I wanted to ditch it, at first I didn’t see what she was trying to do (maybe ditch early to spend more intimate time with me?) so I told her to hold on and I stayed for a bit before we ended up leaving. Now, I didn’t know that area to well so I asked her what we were going to do and she gave me a whole list of things (ice cream, blaze, Chinese food, blaze, chill, walk, chill at park) I told her I didn’t have time to do all that so we should just blaze and get some Chinese food. Now she knew I wanted to smoke before we ate but she held out, so we ended up eating and going back to her place to light it up and listen to some music. While listening to some music off my ipod she said she really liked my taste in music (score!) so I told her she could rip my whole ipod, I would leave it there over the weekend, and I left.

The next week (second week of school) we got out of class and I reminded her my ipod was still at her place and I had to pick it up. So I suggested I go over to her place and pick it up when I'm done class, she agreed.
When I got there she let me in and I grabbed my ipod. I forget who suggested it but we blazed for a bit then she got hungry and told me that her old room mate left her a recipe for some really good stir fry, so she wanted to try making it. I agreed and thought to myself again "score!” so I went to the grocery store with her and picked up all the crap for the recipe, she then told me that she was going to do all the cooking, I should just sit back and relax, I agreed again. As she was preparing the stuff I noticed she was a terrible cook, so I started to help her out. We finished ate, and she told me she was picking up a cat, and invited me along. I thought why not and went with her. The night ended with a hug…

I thought “ok, cool” next time ill work in a kiss or something. Since then we haven’t hung out. I asked her once if she was planning anything on Friday (it was a Tuesday) she replied no so I told her we should hit up a party, my mistake was I told her that she should call me before we meet up to confirm. She didn’t call me till about a good half hour after the party started to tell me that she had old friends over from out of town. Reasonable excuse, but still, it’s and excuse. After I heard that I told her “that’s cool, I’m chilling with some old friends now anyways but hey you have my number right?” she said yes so I replied “great so call me when you’re ready to chill, peace” and I hung up to save some face. It’s been a good week since that happened and I've only seen her in class a couple times where she acted really normal.


Sorry for the long back-story. Anyways my questions; did I hold out to long and she just got tired of it? Am I stuck in a friend’s zone now? Should I not be worried at all? Should I just ditch her (I've already deleted her number) and just move on, there’s another girl I've been working on but keeping at a distance for now till I see how things will work out with girl#1.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Phyzzle

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did I hold out to long and she just got tired of it?
Very possible. But not certain. It's worth one more try, surely.

there’s another girl I've been working on but keeping at a distance for now till I see how things will work out with girl#1.
Stupid idea. Until things "turn out" with girl #1, she has nothing whatsoever to do with the other chicks.
 

JJMcLure

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You hung out way too long before doing anything. You basically put yourself in the friend zone, even though she seemingly initiated some times for you two to be alone.

Why delete her number? She is your "friend" now, you can use her as a pivot (to meet other chicks). Unless you have a oneitis for her that you can't get over without not seeing her, there's no reason to ignore her.

Although the friend zone is as close as it could be, what's the worst that could happen if you try to kiss her next time you're together? If she declines it, you're in no worse position than you are right now. In fact she'll like you more (chicks always like a guy who wants them - even if they aren't interested). At any rate you're considering ditching her now anyway, so there's nothing to lose.
 

Ratisson

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maybe the last spliff she smoked with you wasnt as good as the ones before.

-sertiously though, i think she might be in it for the free jooint sessions. If u hang out with her again, hold off on the reefer and then we'll see what she does and we'll find out her true intentions.
 

Goatbruise

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Ratisson said:
maybe the last spliff she smoked with you wasnt as good as the ones before.

-sertiously though, i think she might be in it for the free jooint sessions. If u hang out with her again, hold off on the reefer and then we'll see what she does and we'll find out her true intentions.
I was getting it from her actually. Yeah i think im gonna try something , thanks guys.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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