Did i just get dump ?

[yomismo]

Hi guys,need some really clear and straight forward advise, please.
I meet this girl online on another forum where she is asking for advise to recover her ex. I gave her some advise and she kept contacting me. She lives nearby!! What a small world.Anyways,lots of exchange of emails, some horny talk and pics...lots of them!!! I noticed some times she would just not say bye during our chats, she would just disappear rest of the day and next day some excuse as i went to sleep or this or that.She says she is very attracted to me and we schedule our first meeting 2 weeks in advance.But before meeting even takes place one day she stopped contacting me, no more emails.I dont want to harass her and thus i didnt email her either.I really thought her interest level was high but seems like i was wrong.I also dont want to contact her after this 2 weeks to dont come across as needy and weak. Should i wait or you guys think she went back to her ex? she told me he sent her email to have coffee but she didnt reply to him, she said since she met me she realized what a boring and useless relationship had with him.this is very strange to me,why she doesnt contact me ? we were super cool together, no problems at all.Help!!

 

[Iceberg]

Hi guys,need some really clear and straight forward advise, please.
I meet this girl online on another forum where she is asking for advise to recover her ex. I gave her some advise and she kept contacting me. She lives nearby!! What a small world.Anyways,lots of exchange of emails, some horny talk and pics...lots of them!!! I noticed some times she would just not say bye during our chats, she would just disappear rest of the day and next day some excuse as i went to sleep or this or that.She says she is very attracted to me and we schedule our first meeting 2 weeks in advance.But before meeting even takes place one day she stopped contacting me, no more emails.I dont want to harass her and thus i didnt email her either.I really thought her interest level was high but seems like i was wrong.I also dont want to contact her after this 2 weeks to dont come across as needy and weak. Should i wait or you guys think she went back to her ex? she told me he sent her email to have coffee but she didnt reply to him, she said since she met me she realized what a boring and useless relationship had with him.this is very strange to me,why she doesnt contact me ? we were super cool together, no problems at all.Help!!

You were super cool together? Sounds like you haven't even met.

The only advice I can give is, spin more plates. You're worrying about a girl you haven't even seen in real life yet. Stop living in the Online World.

 

[PDubb75]

Chalk it up to the game and move on...if she comes back great...if not follow Iceberg's advice.

Either way, follow Iceberg's advice. You have never met this girl. I can tell you without a doubt in my mind that you have built this girl up in your head to standards she won't come close to comparing to if you ever meet. That is the danger with the internet.

You are already talking as if you lost what you had, which was "super cool", yet the harsh reality is you never had anything to lose.

Find other girls... in person.

 

[st_99]

How exactly do you get dumped by someone you never met????

Not sure how old you are but you my friend, have a long way to go.

 

[PDubb75]

I'm not so sure this is entirely accurate...unless she is fat or crazy..which is very likely with girls from the internet.

The other very real possibility is he could set up a self-fulfilling prophecy. He puts the girl on the pedestal and his mind actively pinpoints evidence that proves his infatuation...even though there maybe boat loads of proof contradicting that. It would only be until she would show any sign of neediness that this 'spell' could be lifted or that he would get married and his testicles removed henceforth.

That is exactly what I mean, putting her on a pedestal. That's what tends to happen when you only have online interaction. The fact that they have never met, and he is already considering what they had "super cool" and comes here asking if he was dumped is enough proof for me to see he is putting more stock into this than he should.

Online, you only see the traits of her that she allows you to see. She can think about exact words to write, proofread everything, falsify claims with much greater ease than in a face-to-face interaction. It's easy to find that person to be desirable. You only see the flaws she lets you see.

That turns into a vicious cycle of thoughts that this girl could be better than the rest. Out of sight, out of mind. He sees no flaws, he assumes no flaws.

Now, maybe I'm taking it to a more extreme level, maybe I'm not. But the evidence here shows this is probably the case.

OP, there is really nothing better you can do in this case (and most cases) than to go out and find other girls. Get to a point where this type of thing happens weekly and doesn't bother you because you have other options. It happens to everyone, which is exactly why PHAT rabbit said "chalk it up to the game and move on". You will kill yourself looking for the reasons why it happens, or trying to correct it every time.

 

[pdx1138]

This kind of thing happens all the time (interest, then no interest)
So get used to it and be grateful for it.....it's a great stepping stone to help you have the proper mindset of "not caring" when you get flaked on.