did I get carried away with talking to a new friend?

[ScrewIt]

I think i may have annoyed a new best friend.

Today was the first time we chilled together since finals are over.
but i think i may have told him too much stuff, which he may or may not have believed.

plus i was a hypocrite. we were talking about how he changed and how i changed and how we transitioned to open-minded ppl from h.s. to college. We were walkin down the block...then we heard some noise, ppl were havving a booze party @ the 3rd floor.
My friend asked if me if i wanted to check it out, i just said whatever (but had an attitude like i didnt really want to). then some guys just left the party. then he said nah forget it, i can imagine they're the snobby type of ppl.
i go to parties, but the ones i go to are if they're invites by friends in the past. i've never been to walk in parties with complete strangers...i guess i was being a ***** this time and i know it (im 19, he's 24, the ppl @ the party are probably 20's - 30's, so it did make me feel out of place, (which i told him). I should've said (**** it) lets go check it out. but i did say "look the parties i go to, the ppl there are a lot cooler and around your/my age group, next time i go ill call you up."

I think i was blabbering and giving away too much info out (about the ppl i knew, AFC close minded ppl i know (he spoke of ones he knew too)), we spoke about events that happened/happening in our lives. there are times where i get a little carried away and talk to ppl like i know everything...

so yea anyway, most of my life i've never had any true friends where we'd talk about real situations in life or would give advice to each other or talk about each other's problems. most of the ppl i know are acquaintences or just friends that dont have much in common.

I g uess everything seemed cool when we went our separate ways to go home as it always has been.
i mean he's very open to me and im to him, so i got carried away.
i dont wanna kill this friendship when it's already begun well, next time i hang out, should i just talk about common interests or stuff?
or you think im obsessing over nothing?

 

[NaturallySelected]

I'm confused. Are you a guy\girl? If you're a guy, why you so worried about ruining this friendship?

 

[Ebach]

Let's say a guy -- in this case your new friend -- thinks that another guy let's call him B is a jerk or whatever. If you tell your friend that guy B is a jerk, your new friend might become defensive, even more so when you marketed yourself as an open minded person. People might have egoes but they don't like it when someone else talks **** about someone else unless they're a jerk in which case they don't care.

I would just play it cool and try to be in the same mindset as you were when you met him. Don't go overboard with sharing too much beliefs and values so early. There's plenty of time. Be cool and don't care so much about what you said or did.

 

[ScrewIt]

Guy

You dont know how tough it is to find a true friend in life.

the guys in my phonebook are hangout buddies or acquaintences or lost contact with.
Most ppl in general simply are not interested in making friends/investing time to make friends. many also have their own chain of friends and are simply not interested in your friendship. Many are also selective to who they wanna invest time to make friends with...

ok thx Ebach, that's some good advice, ill try to keep myself in check and not to go overboard with my values/beliefs. But i did find out that we do share a lot of similar values/beliefs in certain situations concerning people. he shared his values/beliefs w/me and so did i

if he considers me a good friend, then leaving voicemails when he doesnt pick up is the respectable thing to do right? or would that be annoying ? what would you expect of your best friend?

 

[fukuy]

LOl, go away queer.

 

[Ebach]

That respectable/mature thing is for when you get older. You're still young just go out and have fun with your buddies. Worry about friends as you get older. Keep improving your DJ and interpersonal skills and I bet as time goes you'll find more buddies/friends. Most people in their 20's don't know what they want in life so they associate themselves with people with similar interests/hobbies. As you get older you might acquire friends from work, again people with similar hobbies, etc. Most importantly stop thinking about finding true friends and go out have a good time and I bet you'll figure it out with some experience.

You can't make friends overnight. It takes years. You want to befriend someone the first day you met him. I've known my best friends since I was a kid and all I'm saying is it takes time. So chill and have a good time.

You're worrying about nothing. We are all hypocrites and anyone with half brain will have realized this by their 20's. That's why there's a saying "do what I say not what I do."

 

[NaturallySelected]

Hey mate

It seems to me you are thinking way too much about trying to be friends with people. I have made many friends in my life, very few of them stick around long. Hell, the dude I considered my best friend dissapeared when he got a GF.

The best bit of information I can give you is that you can't choose your friends. All the friends I have made in life I have met because neither of us had friends, or I met them through other friends. Good friendships develop over time when you hang out together a lot and have good times clubbing, etc. Also, you can only really be friends with people who think like you (have the same sense of humour, etc). Some of my best friends have long-term girlfriends, but I still see them (except for the one AFC).

Learn to respect other people opinions. Make them laugh. Maybe hang out with ppl closer to your age.

 

[ScrewIt]

yea i think i was overthinking this too much.

ill try to have fun with the ppl i know during this summer and just let things go the way it will.

i do respect others opinions. unlike some AFC's i know who dont respect mine. yea anyway i find the ppl closer around my age seem to act very fake or make excuses for not doing something.
Plus sometimes i think i may be too mature for my age, which may seem irrelevant or uneasy to hang out iwth ppl around my age.

ebach - maybe what you say is true, humans are hypocrites underneath in the end.
the way i see it is it's tough to make friends as you get older because by then, most ppl will have already an established secure circle of their own friends.
my bro's 23 and he's living in delware. it's not easy for him to make friends, he's got work and volunteer, needless to say social life. so yea he's got it rough on weekends when he suggests to do something but no one watns tol. it's easy to have a social life when you have friends.