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You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Did I F-up my relationship by being an AFC?

SweetSassyMalasy

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Ok guys here is the deal, I've been seeing this girl for almost 3 months but officially we've been a couple for about a month and a half.

Now she's been telling me for like a week that she's thinks she's falling in love with me, I stayed strong and and didn't say anthing at first but then she started crying and I said yeah I feel the same way.

THEN, my AFC personality kicked in, she was leaving for a week on vacation and I put a love song on herIPOD that pretty much said that I was in love with her. She listened to it the day before the left for vacation and i could tell right away that it kinda creeped her out that I am in love with her already. I tried to smooth it out said that, " hey that was just a song you know, don't take it litererally/" But I think she pretty much got the idea that I am in love with her.

Now she's gone to Dominican for week with her best girlfriend I am kinda afraid that she will cheat on me just to give herself an excuse to break up with me afterwards you know.

I was in control of the relationship the entire time, no AFC ****, and I pull this crap, I think I f-ed everything up. What do you guys think?

Also my friends tell me I should not call her hotel while she's in Dominican, cuz she never gave me her number and that would just show that I can't handle a week w/o her. But if she doesn't call me the entire week isn't that a bad sign either? I just need advice I guess.
 

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These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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SDBmania

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Well, do you love her?

I know what some DJs are going to say, but I say don't caller. If she asked you to call, she would have said so and given the number.

I wouldn't worry about it too much, just see what happens when she gets back. You felt the moment and too a risk. She did say she was falling in love with you, so you may have jumped the gun.

But, again, there's nothing you should do until she comes back. And whatever happens, you can deal with it.
 

SweetSassyMalasy

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yeah i do love her...and i think i did jump the gun, i know the guy should never say that he loves the girl first.

Would you guys expect a call from your girlfriend of 2 months when she is in Dominican on vacation? If she doesn't call me i think I'll be pissed off.
 

SDBmania

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Originally posted by SweetSassyMalasy
yeah i do love her...and i think i did jump the gun, i know the guy should never say that he loves the girl first.

Would you guys expect a call from your girlfriend of 2 months when she is in Dominican on vacation? If she doesn't call me i think I'll be pissed off.
Well, I've never had a girlfriend before, but from what I've seen and been told it varies. How serious are you guys? My guess is she'll call you at least once if it's serious enough, but then all women are different and its hard to say.
 

SweetSassyMalasy

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well usually we talk on the phone everyday at least 2 hours a day if we don't get to see each other. But we usually see each other 2-3 times a week. I mean its a pretty serious relationship. But I just think I scared her with the whole love thing. But I guess there is nothing I can do now.

Would you guy break up with girlfriend if she came back from vacation and cheated on you? I mean, like she got drunk and made out with some guy.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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SDBmania

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I'd say she probably will call you then, sinec that seems serious to enough to me.

If a woman I was seeing cheated on me, I'd be upset to say the least. I suppose it would depend on the nature of what she did and how important she was to me.

I hate cheaters, man or woman doesnt matter, so if I was with someone who cheated on me then I may be reluctant to take her back. An affiar is an affair, whether emotional or physcial, but I to try to be understanding.

I wouldn't worry about her cheating on you. If she really cares about you, she will be responsible and not cheat.

Whatever happens, you'll have to do deal with it. The only person you can control is you. If she does cheat, know that you can deal with it and do what you think is right. But, again, I wouldn't worry about it. It sounds to me that things between you are serious, so I doubt she will cheat.

When she does come back, try not to grill her too much though. :)
 

duttylove

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look at it logically instead of thinking about possibilities.

she cheats = leave her, find some one else, she may still care about u alot but cheating = gone

she doesnt cheat = keep going in the relationship and see where it goes.

if you keep thinking things and over analyising them you will only worry your self and become insecure and jelous, you do not want her to see this in you when she comes back having done nothing wrong.

she is on holiday for a week and probably wants to have a good time and escape reality. im in an LTR with a girl i love very much, if i go on holiday, i do not call nor want her to call me. if she goes on holiday i will not call her i will be hoping shes having a very good time, but every time she does end up calling me, telling me how much she loves and misses me to a point where its actually a little scarey. the point is, im not sat at home wondering what shes up to, whos shes with, she better not talk to any one or cheat on me. i used to and it used to destroy my mind to the point where i wouldnt want her to have a good time away, she should be sat in the house not talking to any one. do you really want that for your gf or want your gf to want that on you?
 
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