"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Did I Dump Her, Or Her Me?

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orbion2013

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had another bad day today... still have moments when i want to mail her & tell her, that i didnt want to be with her anyway & i am done with her..

but i keep riegning myself in.... this soooo hard man!

i defo do not want her back.... i just don't want her feeling smug, thinking i am hurt & torn up about it ending

i am glad she is gone... whats hurts me is, why i put up with so much crap & why i did not drop her like a sack of spanners ages ago
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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K

Kbomb

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orbion2013 said:
had another bad day today... still have moments when i want to mail her & tell her, that i didnt want to be with her anyway & i am done with her..

but i keep riegning myself in.... this soooo hard man!

i defo do not want her back.... i just don't want her feeling smug, thinking i am hurt & torn up about it ending

i am glad she is gone... whats hurts me is, why i put up with so much crap & why i did not drop her like a sack of spanners ages ago
Click to expand...
You want to message her because you want her back. Your brain craves her psychotic insanity, most likely because your mom did the same thing to you when you were young. You crave the rejection, because it allows you the bliss of acceptance. She was treating you like a lab rat in her maze, feeding you acceptance to keep you around, then harshly rejecting you to keep you servile. You need to be rid of it all, leave behind the insanity.

You have to learn to accept yourself, which comes through self work and self-exploration. You cannot be in a relationship when you are functionally a mystery to yourself. Every woman in your life will be dealing with a bad liar who can't act.
 
O

orbion2013

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lol wrong mate... i would never go back there.... never... i am glad to have finaly escaped from cluster b land
 
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orbion2013

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before i started dating her, i didn't even know what bdp is.... but seriously i am done with her 100%

but yeh i am not going to pretend it is easy... i,m just finding it hard to vanish... i have this urge to tell her, i don't give a f@ck about her lol
 
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JWT

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[QUOTE
but yeh i am not going to pretend it is easy... i,m just finding it hard to vanish... i have this urge to tell her, i don't give a f@ck about her lol[/QUOTE]

Telling her you don't give a fvck about her validates her. Think about it. If you truly don't give a fvck about someone, you wouldn't contact them and say so. What's the point? Saying nothing at all sends a way more powerful message. She's all about receiving attention. Even negative attention, like your drafted up e-mail, is attention. Give her attention and you give her power over you. Trust me. I just learned the hard way.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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VladTepes

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You're agonizing...lol. I think there's still a part of you that wanted her. Is she that good? Hahaha...just kidding! I hope your are not staying in your shell Orbion. Start getting your life back, there are a lot of things that you miss when your in a relationship with her. You have to start going out NOW and have some fun. Let the hunt begin!!!
 
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JWT

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orbion2013 said:
had another bad day today... still have moments when i want to mail her & tell her, that i didnt want to be with her anyway & i am done with her..

but i keep riegning myself in.... this soooo hard man!

i defo do not want her back.... i just don't want her feeling smug, thinking i am hurt & torn up about it ending

i am glad she is gone... whats hurts me is, why i put up with so much crap & why i did not drop her like a sack of spanners ages ago
Click to expand...
Going through the same struggle as you know. Talked to someone today about it. They said to stop obsessing over what she is doing, feeling, etc. That's been my problem. Time to put ourselves first, not them. It's not being selfish, just the right thing to do. If you are 100% sure you don't want her back, then who cares what she is doing and thinking. You'll have up and downs and good days and bad days. Accept it and each day will get a little easier. Give yourself credit for making it this long going NC. You're stronger than you think.
 
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orbion2013

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man today is a very hard day.... it's not because i miss her or want her back... just regretful for putting up with this kinds sh@t from her

should have cut her loose ages ago.... have so many things i want to say to her... but have to stick with no contact
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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