"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Did i do the right thing?

Jizz

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Basically a gal with a bf at college has been hanging out with me and showing signs of intrest

shes a bit of a attention seeker, and shes been getting my attention alot lately, i do get the impression her bf doesnt give her alot, but weve been texting almost everyday for a while now and lots of flirting aswell

Thing is i started to realise i was heading straight for the just friends zone with her so i took drastic action

basically after rejecting an offer of hanging out "bcoz my bf wont be happy" i said a few things and eventually told her

"i dont wanna be just friends with you, i dont wanna be some guy who gives u attention when ur bf doesnt, i dont wanna ruin ur relationship with probably a cool guy, so choose what you want from me and let me know"

she replied

"i wanna be your friend, i thought that we were, if you dont want to be then ok, its upto you what you want to do"

i replied

"us being friends will ruin your relationship, when your single we will hang out, untill then its for the best that we dont talk as much"

she didnt reply and im gonna have to see her tomorrow

did i do the right thing and how should i act?

basically ignore her yeah? maybe a smile and a hi if were passing, but no chit chat?

cheers for any advice
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Borgon

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Keep your conscience clear. You simply laid all the cards on the table, act normal like nothing happened because you didnt do nothing bad, and let her put the rope to her neck by herself by distancing herself, just dont get suckered into thinking its your fault.
 

joekerr31

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hey, you were stand up and told the truth.

she called your bluff (hoping like most guys you cave). You called her bluff by not caving.

good for you.

next time you see her act like really friendly, but completely ALOOF.

act like you made your mind up, now your moving on, and you're happy to be doing so.

and no matter how much she tries to flirt with you, act like it means absolutely nothing to you now. she had your interest, now she's lost it.

the only way for her to get it back is to TELL you she likes you and what she wants.

otherwise remove all flirting. be friendly, but aloof. be friendly in the way you'd be friendy to a chic you didn't care about.

if you do this in a month or so she'll be calling you up all the time trying to get you to go out with her.

J
 

RaWBLooD

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Originally posted by joekerr31

if you do this in a month or so she'll be calling you up all the time trying to get you to go out with her.

J
the ppoint of your whole post is that shes a lost cause, dont make the guy go into one-itis by telling him shes gonna want him later, that shouldnt be a concern or even a thought, it doesnt matter.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Jizz

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well todays shes been trying desperatly to get me to talk to her again but i explained once again it was for the best

She said "I know you dont want to be my friend, what else is there to know"

so i said "the only other thing to know is that when your single ill see about hanging out with you again, coz i want my cheese sandwich (private joke)"

she replied "dont try to be funny, who says when im single im gonna want to hang out with you?"

so i said "im willing to take the risk"

reply was "well have a nice life"

im still doing the right thing yeh? whats she thinking? is she basically getting annoyed coz i wont be her friend?
 
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