Did I become the dumper?

[vanballmoos]

I was so in love with this girl. First person I ever thought about marriage with, kids, wanted to live together, all that good stuff. Ex broke up with me because she was tired of the arguing. Tried to get back with me a week later. I told her I was happy and moved on. She nodded, said okay, and walked out. I'll admit I told kind of blew up her phone still venting about the breakup. About 30 minutes after she left I sent her a message saying how I was sorry and the breakup messed with me head. She didn’t respond. I sent her another message, much lengthier this time. I was talking about our issues and brought up how she broke up with me. She ignored that. I sent another message saying how I wanted to stay but felt like I couldn’t. She ignored that. Then I sent her another message the next morning. She finally responded. I sent another message/reply that afternoon which she ignored. I sent another message that evening which she also ignored. So I sent about 6-8 messages within those 24 hrs. I sent her a message a few days later/week later saying this was hard for me. She said it was hard for her too.

Since I rejected her reconciliation did I become the dumper? Or is she the dumper and if so how?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

You have way too much ego. Most people do, I suppose.

 

[vanballmoos]

You have way too much ego. Most people do, I suppose.

How do I have too much ego?

 

[ohrein]

What does it matter who is or isn't the dumper? What question are you really asking here? What do you want to know?

 

[Glassguy]

How many threads have you started about this? I seriously think you copied and pasted this from the last one you created.

Which shows that you have too much invested a woman who you are not with anymore. Dumper/dumpee.....doesnt fvcking matter.

Going out and finding 2 more chicks to replace her......Now that's what matters.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

You want her to stay begging, so you began to chase. While you did technically not want to get back with her, you still did cut your balls off and give them to her.

 

[The Diver]

I'll admit I told kind of blew up her phone still venting about the breakup. . So I sent about 6-8 messages within those 24 hrs. I sent her a message a few days,,,,,

From The Sixteen Commandments of Poon:
V. Adhere to the golden ratio
"Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. For every three calls or texts, give her two back. Three declarations of love earn two in return. Three gifts; two nights out. Give her two displays of affection and stop until she has answered with three more. When she speaks, you reply with fewer words. When she emotes, you emote less. The idea behind the golden ratio is twofold — it establishes your greater value by making her chase you, and it demonstrates that you have the self-restraint to avoid getting swept up in her personal dramas. Refraining from reciprocating everything she does for you in equal measure instills in her the proper attitude of belief in your higher status. In her deepest loins it is what she truly wants."


This rule (and any other rules), are only a good Starting point, but also a good Reset point when the chit hit the fun , and in your case, not only you didn't follow this rule, but you did it the other way round, multiply 3 . You pretty much panicked, and combine with your silly ego, you "lost it" , and in doing so, you handed her an RPG to blow your head off.
As @Glassguy said: Dumper/dumpee.....doesnt fvcking matter" . What you need to do is kill your silly ego,learn the lesson, and educate yourself for next time.

 

[bizzym]

You want her to stay begging, so you began to chase. While you did technically not want to get back with her, you still did cut your balls off and give them to her.

Yea technically he didn’t say he wanted to get back together, but his actions said otherwise. He didn’t have to tell her smh. It’s clear as day he still wanted to be with her.