Did becoming a more attractive man make you resent some woman?

[Jaylan]

So many of us have gone through a transformation to make ourselves more attractive. Whether it is from hitting the gym, finding the right style, perfecting our social skills, or working on our career...many of us have grown and transformed as men.

I dont resent women as a whole, but sometimes I go through phases where I resent certain women that I attract. And its the kind of women that I know for fact did or would have ignored me prior to my growth. Im a pretty different guy than I was 5 years ago, and much different from the teenage kid I was 10 years ago.

Ten years ago I was a skinny and goofy punk kid who had moderate dating success within my social circle. I did not capitalize on all my opportunities though...sometimes my inexperience caused me to screw things up, and sometimes I turned down situations because I was looking for Mrs. Right (youthful optimism in finding love...blah blah blah naivety). I had a fvked up first relationship, and swore off relationships for some time. And while I had a few short flings, I didnt date a lot, a lot.

5 years ago I was still new to college, I had a funky skater style, and I didnt have a great idea of how to talk to women or make myself attractive. At that time I met my last girlfriend, and both of our immaturity lead to a failed relationship. I was jaded before meeting her and needed to convince myself to give that relationship a shot, but after it ended I definitely told myself that relationships wouldnt be for me for a long time. Ive now been single for around almost 5 years, and Ive really learn a lot, and definitely have grown and changed.

My hair is longer for one. I filled out from a skinny kid, into a slim yet muscular dude with an overall athletic build. I found a style that really works for me and garners compliments from women and men alike. Ive learned how to socialize better when attempting to attract women...and Ive learned how to dance a helluva lot better too. I also finished two degrees, and finally landed a job that I think will really get my career moving where I need it to.

The thing is, that while Im certainly not some Channing Tatum ladykiller that's scoring left and right, I have much better success than I was back when I was inexperienced and not fully mature in several areas. Its just that now I find myself annoyed when certain women show interest in me. Hell, Ive had a couple women show interest in me who didnt at one point in the past.

Anyone else feel similarly? Sometimes I just think to myself "man you b!tches are fleeting as fvk"

 

[zekko]

I don't resent women, but I find that I am less interested in them generally speaking than I was when I came here. When I first came here, I was keenly interested in what the best ways to attract women were. Now I barely give a sh!t. I'm more focused on myself.

Also, I can't say I've gone through any transformation. Like yourself, I went through my transformation back when I was in my 20s - becoming more social, exploring my hobbies, building more muscle, building a career, trying to find what worked, all that. I think that's what guys in their 20s do, SoSuave or no SoSuave.

 

[blind_one]

You just have to accept that they live in their own little world that their mind projects onto them. I don't half a sh!t nowadays because like you've said, they are fleeting.

As for them showing interest, I would let them proceed and see if they entertain me or provide value to my life. If not, you know the answer.

Once you get your system to fully realize how valuable your own time is and how you can invest it properly, your tolerance for bullsh!t goes straight to the deck.

 

[Tictac]

Resentment is a completely useless sentiment.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Resentment is a completely useless sentiment.

Not just useless. It's a sign that one is still an AFC at heart and needs to work on his inner game.

 

[foreverAFC]

yes, although i dont consider myself really attractive but after working out and doing martial arts for over a decade i was able to get the point where women will now occasionally give me a fake IOI here and there, and now i just find myself disgusted by most women, especially the soulless high maintenance types since ive been conditioned through my experience in life to believe that those types of females are complete trash. and oddly enough, many of these females who i once obsessed over and constantly desired seem to notice me more when they realize im really disgusted by them and just want them to get away from me.

 

[foreverAFC]

Resentment is a completely useless sentiment.

no, Charlie Sheen said that he would rather hold on to his resentments so that it could fuel his attack

 

[DragonBlood]

I wouldnt say resent as I came here to understand women, and SS along with afew others have certainly helped satisfy that while also getting me more active and enjoying life.

However... In the past three years I have become increasingly agitated by the sometimes forceful and stalkerish behavior of big babes and HB3's that I didnt have to deal with before. One in particular who wont quit after a year of NC. Some just straight up ask for sex out of nowhere which shuts me down. Being ****y and flirting a bit just for fun (or so I thought) has proven a dangerous ****tail. Even if I wasnt talking directly to them!

Where are all my HB6-7 being forceful and stalkerish while I focus on HB8s? The hotter girls seem to be way more cautious, assh0le-like and maybe even a little fearful of my aloofness if they are shy. If only I could move to the next rung I would have real abundance instead of you know, hopeless validating fan girls hahaha. Im at least a solid 8 or 7.5 myself thanks to my folks genetics so I never understood this massive disparity in my own life.

 

[mangotot]

I don't think you resent them, you just look at them as lower species. That applies to the men too.

 

[Born_Again]

first i want to say congrats on all your success and good luck in the future...
Well i do have some residual negativity from my past experience as well and i'm sure many other members also have the same "tick" but that life those are the card i was dealt so i accept that and try not to let it affect my future

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I understand the sentiment of resenting those who did or would have ignored you before. But if you think about it, we have to be honest with ourselves, mainly about why they did or would have shown ignorance; that being, because they are paying attention to a better prospect these days.

Far from resenting women, I just now realise that I am much more deserving of higher standards; both of women and mainly their behaviours. Until I observe said standards on a sustained basis from one individual, I shall remain single.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Great question.

I experienced this on a small scale with my ex a few weeks before we finally broke up. We worked out together, and for the first time in the entirety of our 8 month long relationship she overtly expressed a desire to tear my clothes off and screw my brains out upon seeing me all sweaty post workout session (I'm 5'11' and about 160 lbs., muscle definition shows very clearly following a workout) Lack of intimacy was a serious issue in the relationship (it's what ultimately caused the break up), so this conjured up mixed feelings ("that's it! this is the answer to the lack of sex! get her turned on with my body!" vs. "why do I have to push hard to showcase a chiseled body to get sex from this girl? what if I choose to focus on something else? I've long enjoyed working out, but it's not my top priority, and isn't there something seriously wrong with this formula of getting sculpted primarily for her sake?" End result? Resentment.

What I learned is that I think resentment is likely to follow if you start to turn heads for doing things you really don't have an interest in doing for yourself to begin with. A good (probably cliche) example may be something like becoming a doctor or attorney, grounded in some mindset like "you'll see, the day I become a doctor/attorney/high paid professional, all of these chicks will worship the ground I walk on!" or (similar to what I experienced) "must get jacked so girls will throw themselves at me left and right!", so your "why?" to what it is that you do will never amount to more than "so I can get chicks bro!" Worse still is putting in all of that blood, sweat, and tears and getting little to no payoff (i.e. girls) in return, which would probably only send resentment levels through stratospheric heights.

Maybe I'm oversimplifying things, but I think that as long as you're doing what you want to do, being who you want to be - in short, being true to yourself - and garnering an increasing amount of attention and attraction for doing just that, then resentment ought to be one of if not the last sentiments you ought to be feeling as a result.

 

[skinnyguy]

If a girl went from a fat blob to a bikini model would you start paying attention to her?

 

[Skyline]

So many of us have gone through a transformation to make ourselves more attractive. Whether it is from hitting the gym, finding the right style, perfecting our social skills, or working on our career...many of us have grown and transformed as men.

I dont resent women as a whole, but sometimes I go through phases where I resent certain women that I attract. And its the kind of women that I know for fact did or would have ignored me prior to my growth. Im a pretty different guy than I was 5 years ago, and much different from the teenage kid I was 10 years ago.

Jaylan,

I know you're not exactly the most liked person here on SS... But listen to those statements that you just said. Where have you heard something like that before? I'll tell you where.

An overweight woman would say that.

An overweight woman will get all of this low self esteem from lack of attention and her overall body image. But then once she finally gets the hint that's its not everyone else and that's its HER, she decides to loose all that weight. Now she's slim and sexy. But now she also has this better vengeful mindset.

"You didn't like me at my worst so why should I give you a chance at my best!?"

"You never noticed me back then so why should I notice you!?"

At the end of the day, she looks better. But her head is still sh*tty and jaded, she went from a 0 interest girl to a pump and dump. Some would say she went nowhere! Are you a pump and dump guy Jaylan?



And seriously... "I feel so unattractive today.." You have to admit that that was pretty funny especially after all these years.:crackup:

 

[Tomo]

Thing is, when I look back, I ask myself the question that if I was a chick - decently attractive and the old me came up to me and asked me out, would I have gone out with him let alone been attracted to? Unfortunately the answer is not - not out of lack of confidence or pity but realism of who I was.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Jaylan,

I know you're not exactly the most liked person here on SS... But listen to those statements that you just said. Where have you heard something like that before? I'll tell you where.

An overweight woman would say that.

An overweight woman will get all of this low self esteem from lack of attention and her overall body image. But then once she finally gets the hint that's its not everyone else and that's its HER, she decides to loose all that weight. Now she's slim and sexy. But now she also has this better vengeful mindset.

"You didn't like me at my worst so why should I give you a chance at my best!?"

"You never noticed me back then so why should I notice you!?"

At the end of the day, she looks better. But her head is still sh*tty and jaded, she went from a 0 interest girl to a pump and dump. Some would say she went nowhere! Are you a pump and dump guy Jaylan?



And seriously... "I feel so unattractive today.." You have to admit that that was pretty funny especially after all these years.:crackup:

Repped.

 

[Jaylan]

If a girl went from a fat blob to a bikini model would you start paying attention to her?

Depends. I wouldnt date her seriously though because Id know she would likely regain the weight in the future. I prefer naturally small women who also workout to build their sexiness. Usually chicks who were fat in the past will definitely get bigger as they age.

Jaylan,

I know you're not exactly the most liked person here on SS... But listen to those statements that you just said. Where have you heard something like that before? I'll tell you where.

An overweight woman would say that.

An overweight woman will get all of this low self esteem from lack of attention and her overall body image. But then once she finally gets the hint that's its not everyone else and that's its HER, she decides to loose all that weight. Now she's slim and sexy. But now she also has this better vengeful mindset.

"You didn't like me at my worst so why should I give you a chance at my best!?"

"You never noticed me back then so why should I notice you!?"

At the end of the day, she looks better. But her head is still sh*tty and jaded, she went from a 0 interest girl to a pump and dump. Some would say she went nowhere! Are you a pump and dump guy Jaylan?



And seriously... "I feel so unattractive today.." You have to admit that that was pretty funny especially after all these years.:crackup:

And yet, several respected posters on this forum chimed in with mature advice and could relate to what I posted.

Go troll elsewhere ankle-biter. Grown men with experience are talking here, and teenage kids trolling are a waste here.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Regarding the topic, everyone has gone through a transformation at some stage. Whether it be style or the gym, the individual will eventually grow into himself. If the individual was fat, he couldn't possibly think of getting a girl who was fit. That's why you need to be exactly what you look for. A 5 can't possibly think he is getting a 9. Be what you envision. Work for what you want and you will surely get it. Resentment is indeed useless. Why resent someone who was clearly in a higher league than you? That person can't do anything about the fact that you are playing in a lower league. Once you get on the same level, the competition gets a lot more fair.

Depends. I wouldnt date her seriously though because Id know she would likely regain the weight in the future. I prefer naturally small women who also workout to build their sexiness. Usually chicks who were fat in the past will definitely get bigger as they age.
And yet, several respected posters on this forum chimed in with mature advice and could relate to what I posted.

Go troll elsewhere ankle-biter. Grown men with experience are talking here, and teenage kids trolling are a waste here.

Grown woman* in your case.

 

[Skyline]

Depends. I wouldnt date her seriously though because Id know she would likely regain the weight in the future. I prefer naturally small women who also workout to build their sexiness. Usually chicks who were fat in the past will definitely get bigger as they age.
And yet, several respected posters on this forum chimed in with mature advice and could relate to what I posted.

Go troll elsewhere ankle-biter. Grown men with experience are talking here, and teenage kids trolling are a waste here.

I was being serious dude, that's what you sounded like.

 

[Jaylan]

I was being serious dude, that's what you sounded like.

Whatever you say kid