developing deeper rapport

[tryin 2 play]

plain and simple....i have been seeing a girl for about a month, nothing serious...but it definitely could go that way. We both agreed however that we really dont know much about each other, thus preventing anything serious from happening.

My question is...how do i develop deeper rapport with her? I know that if this doesn't happen then this thing will fizzle, and i don't want that. What kind of things do i talk about? Any examples...im not sure what to do.

thanks guys

 

[WC2]

A month?

It sounds as if the fizzle went off awhile ago.

If you don't spark sexual energy the first time you meet a woman, OK. If you fail to the second time, the fizzle stops there.

Women want sexual beings in men who aren't afraid to show other women they can 'take' them in a sexual manner. You're not afraid to make the move, you actually joke about sexual innuendo in front of her, and you leave some time to fit in some normal conversation in between.

If you've been seeing a woman for a month and have not made a move on her, you're officially her friend.

 

[MisterMcGee]

But that doesn't mean the situation is hopeless. The whole 'doomed friend' angle is seen a little too extremely I find.

 

[tryin 2 play]

friend?? how am i her friend? we have been seeing ie DATING each other for about a month. A few small hookups, no sex yet though, which i expected as i knew her reputation of not being a "fast" girl when it comes to that.

We ended up talking about "us" and she mentioned how I don't seem to tell her much about me and its making it tough for her to connect with me. Also that we never talk about anything "serious" with eachother.

I'm just trying to figure out what type of things im supposed to tell her or talk about her with to make her feel that connection. She flat out told me that she likes me as more than a friend...im jsut having trouble proceeding.

 

[Snow Plowman]

I can't really help you as I'm not used to connections with women, but your basically in a bf/gf frame...If you've been seeing each other for a month and there was no sex.

It's not about her being a "FAST" girl, it's about when there is a strong chemistry sex just happens fast and then relationship can come after. Right now your in a traditional frame where she is basically holding out on sex until she's logically screened you.

Your in a crappy situation, I know it's possible to deal with it because the whole bf/gf is a social norm but it's not the ideal especially when it comes to seduction.

 

[MisterMcGee]

Naw, whats happened here is theres not much emotional fireworks and rapport for her to fvck you.

 

[Following_of_Me]

You're not dating if it's not official. If it's been a month and you've hooked up "a few times", then it's just a fling right now.

If you are looking for something long term, right now you are doing fine. Just hook up more often, and when you think she's starting to get confused about your intentions, ask her out (preferably before she calls you out on it, just make her wait a bit so she doesn't think you asked too soon or got the wrong idea about things).

If you just want a lay, work on her and other girls. And make sure you push the boundaries sexually. Go big or go home basically, you gotta move balls deep and either she'll roll with it, or you'll just have to back off a little and move a little slower for a little.

 

[WC2]

friend?? how am i her friend? we have been seeing ie DATING each other for about a month. A few small hookups, no sex yet though, which i expected as i knew her reputation of not being a "fast" girl when it comes to that.

We ended up talking about "us" and she mentioned how I don't seem to tell her much about me and its making it tough for her to connect with me. Also that we never talk about anything "serious" with eachother.

I'm just trying to figure out what type of things im supposed to tell her or talk about her with to make her feel that connection. She flat out told me that she likes me as more than a friend...im jsut having trouble proceeding.

Look, she may not be your friend, but she's damn sure not your girl.

You can sit here and lie to yourself all you'd like, but you've yet to cross that barrier where you can truly walk around with this chick like she's your dish.

Half of it is because there's no immediate sexual spark (snowman's post).

Think of it this way..

If this chick was OOZING over you, being ravaged by you all the time, asking for sex, then she probably wouldn't be contemplating this whole 'seriousness' thing right? She'd probably just assume her role as your girl, right?

No need to answer, because the answer is RIGHT.

Guys make excuses for themselves all the time and rationalize reasons why a woman is 'unsure' about committing, but when it comes down to it the bottom line is she is just not that into you, be it sexually or mentally.

I've seen so many friends tell me some girl is 'too afraid' to commit only to go start dating some other dude a few weeks later. It has nothing to do with 'commitment'. It has to do with her attraction towards the person.

 

[Telos]

Rapid sexual energy and intimacy first. Rapport second. You try to do things in reverse and you're going to get shafted. End of story.