Desperation

[Desdinova]

I can sympathize with all the AFCs on here about being concerned about when a woman's feelings are on the negative side. After being in a dead marriage for so long, I've been enjoying the company of women. And when she's in a ****ty mood and it's affecting our interaction, I want to fix it. But deep down I know that's the wrong thing to do.

The problem I'm having is caring so much at the beginning of the relationship. I never used to give a damn. But after being without any kind of companion for so long, it's made me... Desperate. Desperate for acceptance. Desperate for affection. But I know I must fight it.

I've been dishing out subtle punishments for slightly rude behavior. I don't think it's intentional on her part, just the way her personality is. There's a lot of good qualities about the woman I'm seeing and I'd like to keep her around for a while, but I know kissing her ass won't keep her interested. So, I'm doing what I do best - taking her onto the emotional rollercoaster and getting her mind stuck on me. "Did I piss him off? Do I make him happy? Could he ever love me?" I know that this is where I want to be, and kissing her ass won't get me there.

It's been tough getting back into the game, but I'm getting there... Slowly

 

[PokerInTheRear]

All I can say is I can sympathize... been there. Marraige is a graveyard where passion finds eternal rest.

 

[Slickster]

Sounds like you are in a bit of a fragile state. Is getting closer to a woman the best thing for you right now?

It seems like you might slip into a relationship you don't need or isn't right because you are so desperate.

If you're just recently back on the scene you should stay there for awhile. At least until you feel good about being on your own.

 

[Desdinova]

Slickster, I really don't have a problem with being on my own. I did it for the entire summer. I've gone out on dates with women I didn't click with and ditched them. It's not the desperation of getting a woman, it's the desperation of keeping her happy. If I sense she's in even a bit of a pissy mood, I want to call her and make her feel better. But I know that's not the key to a woman's happiness. She needs those pissy moods and needs a bit of drama thrown in to keep her emotions active and her brain focused on me.

When I was married, I really didn't give a **** if I pissed my wife off probably because I no longer cared about her. I'm actually enjoying caring about someone, but I can't smother the fvck out of her with all this caring. It must be dished out in small doses. Getting back into the knack of properly dishing out my caring side is what I'm having trouble with. I could be on her doorstep with a big bouquet of roses in a snap if I knew it would give her true happiness, but I know the last thing a woman needs when it comes to attraction is a bundle of stinky flowers.

Regardless, I cut her off a bit early tonight and she seemed concerned about how I was feeling. She probably fell asleep smelling the shirt I left over there a couple days ago. I've got the game to make this work, but getting the emotions to behave is a real bytch.

 

[jophil28]

I

I've been dishing out subtle punishments for slightly rude behavior.

Give us some examples Des, and also some examples of your "punishments" .

Was it Gilbert and Sullivan who wrote," Let the punishment fit the crime.."

 

[Desdinova]

Was it Gilbert and Sullivan who wrote," Let the punishment fit the crime.."

I agree 100%. I actually wrote a post about punishing your gf which I haven't posted as of yet, but intend to do so in the tips section. That's one thing that has taken me a long while to figure out, but I think I've got it down pretty good.