"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Desperate need of a change/help or something

Lemez Lovas

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Yea, this is my first post, but I've known about this site for a few years. (Other username which I forgot)

First a little background info:

Basically here's the deal, I have major issues with confidence around girls. I'm 19 and still a virgin (never even kissed a girl). Not even a REAL gf in my life...ever. (2 in total but those were bullcrap, not to mention junior high) Pathetic? Yes.

The thin is I'm not some harry potter/star wars loving hermit who plays world of warcraft 24/7.

I decided to improve myself. I currently do active cardio train at a boxing gym with hopes of going into amateur fights very soon, I dj and spin electronic music. So basically I've got a life and hobbies. I also work construction. I wake up at 5:00 am and don't get home till around 5 pm. (So im basically gone all day) Im not a introverted coward around people, I interact and all. (not a complete loudmouth..still quiet)

So the problem is with girls. I have no where to meet them. Also most of highschool i spent my days staying home friday nights playing online games etc.. and not going out, so I developed into some introvert when girls are involved.

So basically I need some major advice and help in what to do. I can't really meet girls as I work all day...unless i go to a mall of somesorts. But that is absolutely not my thing in doing cold approaches. (Ie walking up to a random strange girl) I read the bible a while ago, if not 3 + times, and I know about the boot camp (but I'm too ***** and lazy to do any of it i guess) I'm really the type who does better when someone's there pushing me and saying "Go talk to her man!"

Anyways..I probably have the worst confidence with this. I'm gettin tired of it. I'm turning 19 in about 2 weeks, might go to a club to celebrate (as that's the legal age), but again i dont have very many friends now that they're all off at universities(I decided to wait) to go with. I just want to meet new people (preferrably girls) and right now I don't know if I have what it takes. (I know about ****y/funny,, terms like nlp etc)

Anyways, sorry for the long post, this was as much a call out for advice, or someone who could just contact me personally and help me out in these times, as it was for getting off my chest.

Ty for listening, still a part afc...:yawn: :down:


and EDIT: if only i could get over the fear of approaching girls.. i think the rest would be dandy. The last year of HS there were i few girls I was aquaintances or friendsw with, but used C+F on and they ate it up.It's just the initial meeting. I know how some people say "What's the worst that can happen" but I just can't seem to get rid of that fear...no matter what.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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If anyone happens to make fun of you for being inexperienced or something, just ignore them, they probably are virgins too.

Anyways, you're 19, you still have a lot of time, so you really shouldn't feel any time pressure. You have your whole life ahead of you.

Just act cool, most of all act yourself. I've read this site for years and read the bible, and its all good advice, but just don't fake stuff, women will know eventually.

If you want to meet more girls, the amateur fighting will be helpful. Joining a gym could work too. I heard volunteer work is also a good place to find girls
 

Local Celebrity

Don Juan
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Basically you have no problem, the fact your still a virgin is irrelevant, as long as you NEVER tell a chick that. You seem like you got your life in control man, you have hobbies, a job and everything. You just need to go out man, you said you don't have many friends, so lettme help you out.

Go out to a mall, or any other place to get started, go 'pick something up' anything, get yourself a new hat, a new shirt for example. You see a chick, go talk to her, get some practice in man. You said you know all about that stuff, you seem like you read alot of stuff, but reading it doesn't get you off does it? If you want pu$$y, you gotta go get it man. You say you work 5 to 5, you should be going out and practicing game at night man, atleast 3 nights a week.

Good luck man.

P.S. - Why the **** does this forum block out words?
 

DJ4Life

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you shouldn't be having any fear of approaching women when you are completely satisfied and happy with your life, your interests, your hobbies, your accomplishments etc.

Remember a woman is just there to bring MORE happiness to your life, and because of the great life you have, she wants to be in it too. But in the end you are the one to see if she's worth it, and permit her to be your girl.

So start acting like it and stop being a wuss affraid of rejections.
 

Lemez Lovas

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DJ4Life said:
you shouldn't be having any fear of approaching women when you are completely satisfied and happy with your life, your interests, your hobbies, your accomplishments etc.

Remember a woman is just there to bring MORE happiness to your life, and because of the great life you have, she wants to be in it too. But in the end you are the one to see if she's worth it, and permit her to be your girl.

So start acting like it and stop being a wuss affraid of rejections.
That's the thing I don't know if I am. Right now my two hobbies are just hobbies, and since I work so much (lately) I haven't been able to put to much time effort into them. I seem to simplify everything. Ill look at my life andn just see it as oh...two hobbies and working..that is all.

Wow how I'm going to do this i don't know.

I see you're from Toronto too..
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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