Desdinova Goes To Bootcamp (journal)

[LegendaryGame]

Desdi,

in the slots from 10 am - 2pm what works is sheer practicality of the day. This means if you go to the post office or store and a girl is standing and not walking 30 mph you have the ability to initiate. You have to intiate and say something to catch her off guard but not like hey babe or some crap. Example would be a bookstore at 11am.

You: "are you really reading that?"
Her: "what? yea i am"
You" I dont know, i thought you'd have better taste
her: what?
YOu: relax, its just an opinion, i think its a garbage magazine personally. (walk up and sit down next to her)
You: are you always this jumpy? you'd prolly be pissed if i did this...
(you do nothing but look at her and say nothing)
her: shell be mentally f'd and say what are you doing? what?
you: i was just undressing you
her: WTF!
you: see i was right, so what else do you do besides " reading garbage magazines?"
her: blah blah
(now here is where 99 percent of people fail) they dont escalate here, they go for a close. wrong! this is the (show to her you're interesting and not scared to take charge even more and be more bold"
you: (randomly) red or grey
her: what?
you: just pick a color i want to see if its true
her: grey
you: damn, i'm so tired about being right about you
her: girls who choose grey are usually the ones who just dont do anything at all. and to think i was gonna take you to see a movie on friday. tssk tskk but you failed the test. but maybe you can make it up to me,

you: get the number

pardon the long post but its just a base if you will for you to see different approach styles and it uses that its early in the day and for you to be able to be unique. It takes time to have a higher close percentage. it just takes time. only a fool would say approach and get iois then fluff and close. that is not good. no fluff. every response, every action , every body language and every kino moment is a science and increases percentage. bore her for a minute and its over.

 

[CaptainJ]

Clothing stores are your friends Des

 

[Desdinova]

Clothing stores are your friends Des

I've had more luck in the dollar store and Walmart. Clothing stores just haven't been cutting it for me.

 

[jonwon]

If there's one thing this bootcamp is doing to me, it's making me sick of all the local Walmarts and shopping malls. I'm tired of going to them.

I'm also not happy with my prime hours to go out and do this stuff. It's generally Sunday, Monday eve and Tuesday eve. Prime time is Thursday & Friday eve, and Saturday. This week I've been on holidays and my prime time is between 10am and 2pm. Do you know how many attractive women are out at this time? NOT MANY.

I haven't had a good day with this stuff. I had a convo with some girl in a clothing store about men and pink shirts. I tried to make it fun, she tried to make it a sale. I fvcking hate chatting up sales chicks or any female who is working. It's a couple steps down from initiating a convo with someone on a cell phone.

I'm also still struggling with convo material. Initiating convos is still easy. But the discouragement due to my lousy hours of availability for this stuff makes it more difficult to actually WANT to initiate anything.

Any suggestions for overcoming these obstacles? Perhaps a list of interesting or unique approaches to try in the field may help.

Have you considered some inner game mental empowerment? I.e some audio tapes? I've found that stuff to be great in putting you in the right mental framing. What I mean is, is self help audio material that gets your brain thinking on the right track, not some PUA stuff but things sales guys use, for example. Feel the fear and do it anyway, magic of thinking big, how to win friends and influence people - stuff of that nature, i've found these things help me by giving me the positive mental framing that allows you to approach people with a confident inner calm that seems to attract people to you, in some wierd mystical type fashion.

A-lot of negativity in your posts, it's like this is becoming a chore and bore, yes fundimentally it is, but to counter that I think you need positive influences and those types of self help audio books, listened to whilst at work on in a car could provide the counter balance and put your in the right frame of mind. Nothing seems to repel girls more than a negative outlook, they seem to have a six sense ability to filter guys like that out.

Start with 'feel the fear and do it anyway', you maybe suprised.

 

[Desdinova]

The approach isn't the problem, it's maintaining the convo. I don't feel any fear while approaching. I'm just at a lack of things to talk about.

I'll be heading out again today. We'll see how well it goes...

 

[JustLurk]

The approach isn't the problem, it's maintaining the convo. I don't feel any fear while approaching. I'm just at a lack of things to talk about.

I'll be heading out again today. We'll see how well it goes...

You're dang lucky, I tell you. Convos are cake, but the approach is hard for me :cuss: Nice to see you doing the boot camp, I'm thinking of doing it when summer's over.

 

[Desdinova]

I approached somewhere around 10-15 women and couldn't hold a convo for more than a minute. This is something that I definately need to work on if I'm going to be going for the number close.

I have no clue how the fvck I did it over 8 years ago. I had women left, right, and center, and didn't have enough time for all of them. It was so goddam natural to just chat them up, number close, and set up a date.

Stupid marriage, LOL!

I may end up repeating this week or possibly next week. Regardless, I'm determined to follow through with this bootcamp!

 

[Desdinova]

Week 3 Day 6

I think I made a slight breakthrough today...

Before I went out on my journey, I forced myself to get into a really good mood. I jacked up "Love Changes Everything" by Honeymoon Suite, dance my ass off, and sang it from the top of my lungs. I felt great after that, and headed out to the mall.

Chatted up a woman in a bookstore. She was with some ug chick. Of course, the good looking one was the owner of the three kids (yikes!) But that's pretty much what we chatted about... kids. I honestly wouldn't want a woman with that many offspring. Fvcking her would be like stirring soup.

I came up with my own opener while I was out and decided to try it. I walked into Bath & Body works. I was approached by two sales women, both HB7.5s. They greeted me, and I responded with "Hello, and how may I make your Bath & Bodyworks experience more pleasurable today?" I was in! Fantastic playful conversation with one of them (the other one dropped off the radar for whatever reason.) I can't remember for the life of me what we talked about, but I kept it incredibly playful.

I actually was in there for a purpose - to buy some scented oil for my house. After we chatted for a few minutes, I decided to involve her in my search for a scent for my house. I accused her of trying to get me high by sniffing all this oil, LOL! She asked me if I was into "aroma therapy". I responded with "Therapy? Oh nice, you think there's something psychologically WRONG with me! " Had her laughing and enjoying herself the whole time.

She got called away for a phone call, and I told her "Yeah, someone is probably doing you a favor to get you away from such a CRAZY customer!" She told me to keep smelling the oils. I asked, "Is that an order?" She responded with a YES!

Guys, THIS is how I did it 8 years ago. I IMMEDIATELY opened women with something playful. I haven't been able to do that in years. It went so well, I went over to the competition of Bath & Body Works just down the way, and used the same opener on a HB8. The conversation wasn't as stimulating, but it was still fun and she enjoyed herself.

I'm now over my quota for the week, but that won't stop me from getting my personality back into shape! I haven't tried that opener on a customer yet, so I think I just might do that and see how it goes

Desdinova is slowly but surely cracking out of his shell

 

[Desdinova]

Starting week 4 today. It's a bit intimidating since I haven't really become comfortable with the whole conversation bit as of yet. I'm almost tempted to repeat last week, but I made it through and it's time to forge on!

I have a couple of uphill battles though. First of all, I'm on emergency call with work for the next two weeks. I may have to drop everything and go out on an emergency call. This takes time away from the exercises. Second, I also have my child in tow for a good half of the week. I need to make good use of my time if I'm going to finish this week. If things get really hectic with work, I may (out of necessity) extend this exercise into two weeks.

The reading for this week of the bootcamp was exceptionally fantastic. I'm going to quote something for myself because I find myself doing the exact same thing:

The main reason I've been so inconsistent is I'll buy excuses from myself not to approach, whereas when you're going for rejections, you can't make those excuses.”

As for the actual number close, I still remember the one that I used successfully before I was married. It's perfect, needs no modification, and usually lands me the number.

I'll be heading out today. I'll be doing the same thing I did on Friday: pumping myself up for a good time, using the opener I came up with (and maybe creating a new one) and see how far I can get!

 

[Desdinova]

Week 4 Day 1

Not a lot of women out today. It's nice as hell outside, so who wants to be in a stuffy mall?

Opened quite a few women with convos that just didn't fly. Used my "pleasurable experience" opener on one girl at London Drugs and it fizzled out.

At the mall entrance, there's a cash register with a bunch of 5hitty clothes on sale. The girl at the register looked good, but she was busy. Opened a few women in Walmart, and again nothing.

On the way out, the girl at the register was leaning against the wall doing fvck all, so I approached her. We got into a convo about her job, her anxiety disorder around large crowds, and it was going really well. Then, some half-retarded lazy co-worker dude came up to her and basically c0ck-blocked me. I said goodbye and went on my way.

I started thinking, "Wait a minute! I'm not going to let some snot-head Wal-mart worker c0ck-block me!" I figured that dude may be on his break, so I wandered around for about 20 minutes and returned to Wal-Mart. She smiled when she saw me and I chatted with her for about a minute. Then I went back into Wal-mart to buy some ammo (for my gun, not for sarging, LOL!)

I got my ammo, and came out. She's still standing against the wall, so I chatted with her some more for a few minutes. My number close was a bit clumsy. I'm really bad at NOT introducing myself, so I need to work on that. I had to do it in the middle of my number close. I told her that we should chat some more, and asked for her number. He gave it to me, smiled, and looked extremely flattered that I had asked for it.

HELL YEAH!

I mean, oops! That was supposed to be a rejection.

She's a HB7.5, great face, perfect height, and I don't have to take her on a date to an amusement park, LOL!

I'd forgotten that after you've got one number in the pocket, you don't give a damn if you get rejected because you've already got someone interested in you.

I didn't even use any c/f on this girl. She has NO clue what she's got herself into

 

[T From CA]

Not a lot of women out today. It's nice as hell outside, so who wants to be in a stuffy mall?

Opened quite a few women with convos that just didn't fly. Used my "pleasurable experience" opener on one girl at London Drugs and it fizzled out.

At the mall entrance, there's a cash register with a bunch of 5hitty clothes on sale. The girl at the register looked good, but she was busy. Opened a few women in Walmart, and again nothing.

On the way out, the girl at the register was leaning against the wall doing fvck all, so I approached her. We got into a convo about her job, her anxiety disorder around large crowds, and it was going really well. Then, some half-retarded lazy co-worker dude came up to her and basically c0ck-blocked me. I said goodbye and went on my way.

I started thinking, "Wait a minute! I'm not going to let some snot-head Wal-mart worker c0ck-block me!" I figured that dude may be on his break, so I wandered around for about 20 minutes and returned to Wal-Mart. She smiled when she saw me and I chatted with her for about a minute. Then I went back into Wal-mart to buy some ammo (for my gun, not for sarging, LOL!)

I got my ammo, and came out. She's still standing against the wall, so I chatted with her some more for a few minutes. My number close was a bit clumsy. I'm really bad at NOT introducing myself, so I need to work on that. I had to do it in the middle of my number close. I told her that we should chat some more, and asked for her number. He gave it to me, smiled, and looked extremely flattered that I had asked for it.

HELL YEAH!

I mean, oops! That was supposed to be a rejection.

She's a HB7.5, great face, perfect height, and I don't have to take her on a date to an amusement park, LOL!

I'd forgotten that after you've got one number in the pocket, you don't give a damn if you get rejected because you've already got someone interested in you.

I didn't even use any c/f on this girl. She has NO clue what she's got herself into

Good stuff bro

 

[SandHawk]

I recently got myself a copy of the book you mentioned earlier "How to win friends and influence people", and to be honest, that is one of the best reads in a very long time.

Not only is the book very well written, everything it claims is supported with proper argumentation and examples. I've been trying out a few of these things, and it seems to work well in my case.

 

[Desdinova]

Week 4 Day 2

Sittin here having a drink with my wing. He's been fvcking arguing through text with this 19 year old who won't put out (or can't - her words.) I turned it into an opener and used it on a hb7 in a clothing store. Got my first rejection. Said it was the wrong place to ask a woman out, lol!

Before that, I successfully number closed a HB9 in a chocolate shop. Chatted with her about snack food and how we both don't like chocolate. This girl was REALLY fvcking hot!

Got another rejection from a HB8 in a shoe store. I didn't even get the bf line, just completely 'not interested'.

So I'm tied: 2 numbers, 2 rejections

 

[Desdinova]

Week 4 Day 3

Yesterday was so awesome. I did lots of approaches. Didn't get anything done today. I'm exhausted from work and I got called out this evening for more work. I tried to get in some sarging time, but I was too damn exhausted to put in any effort into conversing. There wasn't many interesting looking women out either.

The only thing I did accomplish was calling my first number close from Sunday. She claimed to be busy babysitting the neighbor's kid, but asked for my number and said she'd call tomorrow. While I'm waiting for my phone call, I'll be calling the HB9 from yesterday

For those of you wondering, I think that waiting 3 days is too long. I've been more successful calling sooner, as in the next day, or the day after. Perhaps I should've gone with my gut on this one and called the next day.

This is the part I hated about the dating scene last time I was single. Getting the first date is a big pain in the ass. I'd love to skip this stage and get right into some action. But everything is linear in the dating world.

I did some reading for the next week of the bootcamp regarding setting up the first date. Imagine my surprise to find something I wrote years ago under my old username! I made a lot of sense back then

 

[amoka]

I agree with you on the fact that waiting for three days is too long. I see a great success rate when I contact them immediately... In such case, they have fresh memory of you... Good job by the way.

 

[penkitten]

hey des...long time no see...
saw your thread and got caught up to speed on everything that has been going on....
i am glad to see that you are becoming more of yourself again lately.
it's been a long time coming huh?

~sending good vibes your way brother!

 

[sageproduct]

Imagine my surprise to find something I wrote years ago under my old username! I made a lot of sense back then

Lol that's awesome, taking advice from a past version of yourself

 

[SeymourCake]

Is there a link to your past journalized bootcamp? I'd like to check it out, out of curiosity.

 

[penkitten]

his past bootcamp stuff will either be in the archive or gone when they changed servers years ago.

 

[L B]

Good job so far. The I don't care, I'm here to have fun attitude is starting to show more and more. Keep the updates coming!

Can't believe I didn't see your bootcamp thread until now. You really make me want to brush up on my small talk skills. I'm at the 4.5 yr mark with my current relationship and I'm getting rusty with talking to women I don't know. Also, I am afraid that I will be tempted to do things that I will regret if I work on such skills.