Packers2010
Master Don Juan
these past we weeks have been pretty stressful. school was just ****. the teacher is a complete and utter **** and i can't believed i passed his unit in my course. ( i'm talking leaving sheets of information out of the tests and marking wrong answers right. in accounting that's fooked if you are trying to do a trial balance or a profit and loss statement. )
then there is my home life. sleeping in the same bed as your mother is great! especially when the dog sleeps in the bed too and snores! it's way cool! it's been pretty hot here as of late. so i have been sleeping on the uncomfortable couch. ( the bed is more comfy that's why i take it. no other reason)
my folks live in the same house and hate each other. i'm talking north and south korea style. at this time of year. it's great! they live so close to each other and we have to do Christmas. if it was up to me. i would just sleep threw it and just wake up on the first of jan for a new start! so i'll just get ****ed for it.
i also had a date last night. witch you think would be great, but it went so well i text her after and then pretty much deleted her number. not becuse i wanted because she did even like me. ( good thing we went to play pool, nice and cheep and i can show off a little, turns out playing a game of pool like no one has ever seen isn't as impressive as white car) shame she was ****ing hot too. had great tits. i just choded out and did no kino or **** because i got hell nervous. the funny thing is, i did the same date with a girl i used to go to high school with. i kissed this girl, though in my head i must have thought she was ugly or something.
the date it's self went ok. we just kept talking and was a little awkward . after i offered to go for coffee. since we had different cars we drove there. the place was closing so she just bailed on me an that was that. i guess we didn't match up because i felt she was this snobby girl. like. she had a degree and has been all over the world. and doesn't like the western world. can only travel to 3rd world countries. it was pretty much a pump and dump and i couldn't even did that. i got a hug!! woopdty freckin doo!
so now i just lay on the couch and watch skins till the sunrises then i sleep till my mother yells at me to get up. it's pretty good distraction from whats going on. i'm up to season 3. 4's taking too
long to download! seasons 1 &2 was epic! i love the cassie chick it in. she gets a 3 in the binary system. 1) would do 2) would do again 3) *** allover her have and boobs. effy is good too.
i have no idea what i am doing right now. i feel like i have just created a huge hole in me. after the stress of school it feels like i have nothing. like. i've already acepted my life is ****. so now i ave nothing to focus on or worry about. school doesn't start till feb. so i have a long wait ahead of me. it's like i'm just waiting for Christmas to be over. then i will try again in the new year. what makes it all worse is i feel like i have no one to talk to. i HAVE friends. but i have no idea where the **** they are. they hardly talk to me, granted they have gf's and one of them just got engaged. so he is busy playing wiffy. i am his groomsman and his engagement party is on the 27th. going to get ****ed up at that one! might even get some weed. calm me down.
to put the icing on the cake of this **** storm of a mess, ( witch really is **** all when you look at it. #firstworldproblems) the only person i talk to, is the girl i am trying to ****. when i say talk to, it's more i try run ****y and funny game, then invite her out and she turns me down. though they other night at like 10pm. i txted her. ( i do this a lot. most of it is drunk texting becuse i'm soooo needy and validation seeking i need to SUCK the life out of everyone i come in contact with.) at like 1 am she text me back and start sexting with me. witch i though was random. ( she lives ages away with her folks and her kid. shes not crazy just life threw her a curve ball. i know cos i have met her out a few times with friends.) i sent her a text last week saying she was **** at sexting. mainly cos she wasn't doing it at the time and i have horny.
right now. i really don't know what to do... i'm thinking about going to a mental health doc. I've been thinking about it for awhile, at first i though it would fast track me a little for my game. you know. make me believe in myself and make me confident. the old saying " i am enough!" if i though that. then girls wouldn't be SUCH a big problem for me. i could just go out and hit up as many as i could then the chips would just fall in my favor.
i'm totally out of it and locked on. i feel like i'm falling. but from what to where i have no idea. right now i just keep playing the song. hear you me - jimmy eat world. i don't even like the band much since i am a wigga, i play it because it's a slow song. ( been playing my depressive playlist all week) it aso reminds me of my oneitis girl. i asked myself if i still loved her. but i don't thin my
heart has much more love to give.
anyway thanks for reading.
( SIDE NOTE: if you have read this rambling story of glorified **** then i thank you. it means a lot to get you guys replies too. thanks)
then there is my home life. sleeping in the same bed as your mother is great! especially when the dog sleeps in the bed too and snores! it's way cool! it's been pretty hot here as of late. so i have been sleeping on the uncomfortable couch. ( the bed is more comfy that's why i take it. no other reason)
my folks live in the same house and hate each other. i'm talking north and south korea style. at this time of year. it's great! they live so close to each other and we have to do Christmas. if it was up to me. i would just sleep threw it and just wake up on the first of jan for a new start! so i'll just get ****ed for it.
i also had a date last night. witch you think would be great, but it went so well i text her after and then pretty much deleted her number. not becuse i wanted because she did even like me. ( good thing we went to play pool, nice and cheep and i can show off a little, turns out playing a game of pool like no one has ever seen isn't as impressive as white car) shame she was ****ing hot too. had great tits. i just choded out and did no kino or **** because i got hell nervous. the funny thing is, i did the same date with a girl i used to go to high school with. i kissed this girl, though in my head i must have thought she was ugly or something.
the date it's self went ok. we just kept talking and was a little awkward . after i offered to go for coffee. since we had different cars we drove there. the place was closing so she just bailed on me an that was that. i guess we didn't match up because i felt she was this snobby girl. like. she had a degree and has been all over the world. and doesn't like the western world. can only travel to 3rd world countries. it was pretty much a pump and dump and i couldn't even did that. i got a hug!! woopdty freckin doo!
so now i just lay on the couch and watch skins till the sunrises then i sleep till my mother yells at me to get up. it's pretty good distraction from whats going on. i'm up to season 3. 4's taking too
long to download! seasons 1 &2 was epic! i love the cassie chick it in. she gets a 3 in the binary system. 1) would do 2) would do again 3) *** allover her have and boobs. effy is good too.
i have no idea what i am doing right now. i feel like i have just created a huge hole in me. after the stress of school it feels like i have nothing. like. i've already acepted my life is ****. so now i ave nothing to focus on or worry about. school doesn't start till feb. so i have a long wait ahead of me. it's like i'm just waiting for Christmas to be over. then i will try again in the new year. what makes it all worse is i feel like i have no one to talk to. i HAVE friends. but i have no idea where the **** they are. they hardly talk to me, granted they have gf's and one of them just got engaged. so he is busy playing wiffy. i am his groomsman and his engagement party is on the 27th. going to get ****ed up at that one! might even get some weed. calm me down.
to put the icing on the cake of this **** storm of a mess, ( witch really is **** all when you look at it. #firstworldproblems) the only person i talk to, is the girl i am trying to ****. when i say talk to, it's more i try run ****y and funny game, then invite her out and she turns me down. though they other night at like 10pm. i txted her. ( i do this a lot. most of it is drunk texting becuse i'm soooo needy and validation seeking i need to SUCK the life out of everyone i come in contact with.) at like 1 am she text me back and start sexting with me. witch i though was random. ( she lives ages away with her folks and her kid. shes not crazy just life threw her a curve ball. i know cos i have met her out a few times with friends.) i sent her a text last week saying she was **** at sexting. mainly cos she wasn't doing it at the time and i have horny.
right now. i really don't know what to do... i'm thinking about going to a mental health doc. I've been thinking about it for awhile, at first i though it would fast track me a little for my game. you know. make me believe in myself and make me confident. the old saying " i am enough!" if i though that. then girls wouldn't be SUCH a big problem for me. i could just go out and hit up as many as i could then the chips would just fall in my favor.
i'm totally out of it and locked on. i feel like i'm falling. but from what to where i have no idea. right now i just keep playing the song. hear you me - jimmy eat world. i don't even like the band much since i am a wigga, i play it because it's a slow song. ( been playing my depressive playlist all week) it aso reminds me of my oneitis girl. i asked myself if i still loved her. but i don't thin my
heart has much more love to give.
anyway thanks for reading.
( SIDE NOTE: if you have read this rambling story of glorified **** then i thank you. it means a lot to get you guys replies too. thanks)