I am getting a little depressed. Not because I can't get girls but because others do. I am not an AFC but also i'm not a DJ. I start to think that DJ stuff doesn't work in my country. I see AFCs that get the girls number over a friend(too afraid to ask) ,fall in love(blah) ,date 3 girls at once and I am more goodlooking and funnier, more original than them . I see retards that date multiple girls. (I am telling this because i need to let some steam and get your opinions) .Guys don't even call a girl they text message her and this goes on for 1 hour, Girls give them rings 1st week of dating, maybe they can't handle a MAN they can't control?I was wondering also how come there are no girls of my age single(20) and yet still guys find girls to go out with) .Also I am getting depressed about my looks because of this: For instance I go on a lecture sit by myself because I come early and noone sits by me, they rather stand, or I come when there are people sitting and I sit next to a girl and she leaves(I don't say anything, I don't smell(I wear cologne.but not too much CK1),I don't look like a bum or a killer I mean I am dressed and look like a model, so why are they avoiding me. This bringes me to another conclusion-either I am good looking or I look like Quasimodo (spelling).Should I post a picture on hot or not to see wtf in goin on?The saddest thing is I'm not looking for a HB8,9... ,but am looking for a cute 7. Maybe thats the problem because maybe HBs 8,9 are lonely because everybody is too scaret do approach so the 6, and 7s are taken?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
depressed and (a little angry)
- Thread starter napoleon
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
my advice:
don't judge the way of how you look by some dumb site like "hotornot," now I don't know why people avoid you at lecture. Maybe you can start by smiling and greeting (like to the girl sitting next to you)
or you can asking about "what is this lecture about?"
be yourself, don't let the media change the way of how you think
don't judge the way of how you look by some dumb site like "hotornot," now I don't know why people avoid you at lecture. Maybe you can start by smiling and greeting (like to the girl sitting next to you)
or you can asking about "what is this lecture about?"
be yourself, don't let the media change the way of how you think
>I am getting a little depressed. Not because I can't get girls but because others do. I am not an AFC but also i'm not a DJ. I start to think that DJ stuff doesn't work in my country. I see AFCs that get the girls number over a friend(too afraid to ask) ,fall in love(blah) ,date 3 girls at once and I am more goodlooking and funnier, more original than them .
>>
This happened to me too. First stuff you must get out of your head is that the DJ stuff all of a sudden will make every woman like you. Women will respond to different things. For example being AFC or having a person falling in love with them or meeting a guy who has control in his life. Your brain may go berserk at this but understand that whereever you are in life women will be attracted to you, the only thing you can do is to decide the quality of the women attracted. So step back and let the jealousy go. The only person you should compare yourself to is yourself. Do you get the kind of women you like? If no then you must raise your standards on both yourself and the girls.
>I see retards that date multiple girls. (I am telling this because i need to let some steam and get your opinions) .Guys don't even call a girl they text message her and this goes on for 1 hour, Girls give them rings 1st week of dating, maybe they can't handle a MAN they can't control?
>>
Maybe it is just so that they are not looking for a man or feel attracted. Are they quality women to you who behave like this?
>I was wondering also how come there are no girls of my age single(20) and yet still guys find girls to go out with) .Also I am getting depressed about my looks because of this: For instance I go on a lecture sit by myself because I come early and noone sits by me, they rather stand, or I come when there are people sitting and I sit next to a girl and she leaves(I don't say anything, I don't smell(I wear cologne.but not too much CK1),I don't look like a bum or a killer I mean I am dressed and look like a model, so why are they avoiding me. This bringes me to another conclusion-either I am good looking or I look like Quasimodo (spelling).Should I post a picture on hot or not to see wtf in goin on?The saddest thing is I'm not looking for a HB8,9... ,but am looking for a cute 7. Maybe thats the problem because maybe HBs 8,9 are lonely because everybody is too scaret do approach so the 6, and 7s are taken?
>>
Do you work out? This made all the difference for me.
>>
This happened to me too. First stuff you must get out of your head is that the DJ stuff all of a sudden will make every woman like you. Women will respond to different things. For example being AFC or having a person falling in love with them or meeting a guy who has control in his life. Your brain may go berserk at this but understand that whereever you are in life women will be attracted to you, the only thing you can do is to decide the quality of the women attracted. So step back and let the jealousy go. The only person you should compare yourself to is yourself. Do you get the kind of women you like? If no then you must raise your standards on both yourself and the girls.
>I see retards that date multiple girls. (I am telling this because i need to let some steam and get your opinions) .Guys don't even call a girl they text message her and this goes on for 1 hour, Girls give them rings 1st week of dating, maybe they can't handle a MAN they can't control?
>>
Maybe it is just so that they are not looking for a man or feel attracted. Are they quality women to you who behave like this?
>I was wondering also how come there are no girls of my age single(20) and yet still guys find girls to go out with) .Also I am getting depressed about my looks because of this: For instance I go on a lecture sit by myself because I come early and noone sits by me, they rather stand, or I come when there are people sitting and I sit next to a girl and she leaves(I don't say anything, I don't smell(I wear cologne.but not too much CK1),I don't look like a bum or a killer I mean I am dressed and look like a model, so why are they avoiding me. This bringes me to another conclusion-either I am good looking or I look like Quasimodo (spelling).Should I post a picture on hot or not to see wtf in goin on?The saddest thing is I'm not looking for a HB8,9... ,but am looking for a cute 7. Maybe thats the problem because maybe HBs 8,9 are lonely because everybody is too scaret do approach so the 6, and 7s are taken?
>>
Do you work out? This made all the difference for me.
crotchrocket
Don Juan
- Joined
- May 22, 2003
- Messages
- 134
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napoleon, your aren't the only one, it's something every guy goes through in the transition from AFC to DJ. The old cliche 'it's lonely at the top' somehow couldn't be more prophetic than in this situation.
I do wonder if it is because most women these days are looking to be the one in control of the relationship. I don't know about you but everybody (including the girls I've dated) know I don't do anything unless I want to do it.
There must be still something missing in your game (mine too), maybe it's because I still give a sh!t?, and they can probably tell, who knows?!
Two girls I had dated a few times have recently 'replaced' me with total AFC guys. Girl 1, her new guy phoned her SIX times in one day when a bunch of us were out, she kept delaying their date (later that day) and he kept waiting and waiting. Girl 2, showed up with her new guy (she drove) and he literally followed her around like a lost puppy.
So is it better to turn back to my AFC ways, sacrifice my dignity and self-worth just to get a particular girl, I'm thinkin' not. I'd rather be lonely, and proud of who I am.
I do wonder if it is because most women these days are looking to be the one in control of the relationship. I don't know about you but everybody (including the girls I've dated) know I don't do anything unless I want to do it.
There must be still something missing in your game (mine too), maybe it's because I still give a sh!t?, and they can probably tell, who knows?!
Two girls I had dated a few times have recently 'replaced' me with total AFC guys. Girl 1, her new guy phoned her SIX times in one day when a bunch of us were out, she kept delaying their date (later that day) and he kept waiting and waiting. Girl 2, showed up with her new guy (she drove) and he literally followed her around like a lost puppy.
So is it better to turn back to my AFC ways, sacrifice my dignity and self-worth just to get a particular girl, I'm thinkin' not. I'd rather be lonely, and proud of who I am.
I do work out and have a body sort like Brad Pitt but I want to get bigger(I'm 185.5 cm and 85 kg). Today I got a little confidence boost -I saw 2 friends (girls) that I didn't see for 2 years. One told me(maybe joking?)that I was a fox and the other checked me out when I was walking away. Since high school I made a lot of improvement in my image(hair,no glasses, 10 kg muscles,less acne,better clothes...)!
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
ShizamDaMan
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2003
- Messages
- 1,113
- Reaction score
- 3
You wanna know why those guys succeed? Cause they just don't give a ****.
Lighten up, you're thinking (and probably trying) way too hard. Girls can sense desperation 10 miles away.
Lighten up, you're thinking (and probably trying) way too hard. Girls can sense desperation 10 miles away.
JT47319
Master Don Juan
It doesn't sound like you are APPROACHING women or inducing a sexual state in them.
Rather, you seem to assume that women must approach you to validate you.
These 'AFC' guys are putting in the hard work necessary to chase the girl despite their 'AFC' tactics.
Rather, you seem to assume that women must approach you to validate you.
These 'AFC' guys are putting in the hard work necessary to chase the girl despite their 'AFC' tactics.
crotchrocket
Don Juan
- Joined
- May 22, 2003
- Messages
- 134
- Reaction score
- 0
jt47319, has a good point regarding the AFC's putting in the work necessary, regardless of skill.
I know I catch myself thinking and wondering why women aren't flocking to me, "hey I have more skill than that AFC dude" but just because I wouldn't do this AFC thing or that doesn't mean sh!t if I don't do the work required to get the girl, and let's face it, nothing worth while, ever comes without a little hard work -right?!, the unrelenting, consistent, through whatever road blocks stand in your way kind of hard work!
A buddy of mine used to have a good come back whenever I commented on a girl dating someone instead of me, he would so wisely say, "because he asked!"
I know I catch myself thinking and wondering why women aren't flocking to me, "hey I have more skill than that AFC dude" but just because I wouldn't do this AFC thing or that doesn't mean sh!t if I don't do the work required to get the girl, and let's face it, nothing worth while, ever comes without a little hard work -right?!, the unrelenting, consistent, through whatever road blocks stand in your way kind of hard work!
A buddy of mine used to have a good come back whenever I commented on a girl dating someone instead of me, he would so wisely say, "because he asked!"
grab your ballz
It seems that you have a confidence problem that is ruining your game. If you are as good looking as you say you are, then you should have half the women attracted to you right off the bat. Now to close the deal, you have to approach and open your mouth. If you see a target of interest simply maintain eye contact and smile. If she smiles back, then that is your cue to start a friendly conversation and perhaps number/fyck close.
This is not rocket science. Every day thousands of people are getting laid because that is what mother nature wants. Just let things come naturally and you will do fine. When there is physical attraction between two people they are bound to mate as nature intended as long as you let nature take its course. But, you being the male, have the responsibility in initiating. Sitting back waiting for the female to approach is not going to get you anywhere no matter how good looking you are.
The other guys you refer as AFC's at least are giving the effort and taking the initiative which at least in the short term is getting them pyssy.
It seems that you have a confidence problem that is ruining your game. If you are as good looking as you say you are, then you should have half the women attracted to you right off the bat. Now to close the deal, you have to approach and open your mouth. If you see a target of interest simply maintain eye contact and smile. If she smiles back, then that is your cue to start a friendly conversation and perhaps number/fyck close.
This is not rocket science. Every day thousands of people are getting laid because that is what mother nature wants. Just let things come naturally and you will do fine. When there is physical attraction between two people they are bound to mate as nature intended as long as you let nature take its course. But, you being the male, have the responsibility in initiating. Sitting back waiting for the female to approach is not going to get you anywhere no matter how good looking you are.
The other guys you refer as AFC's at least are giving the effort and taking the initiative which at least in the short term is getting them pyssy.
bonethugmug
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2004
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- 33
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- 0
Yeah I'm similar in the sense that I can have great conversation, I'm decent looking, dress somewhat nice, and I can get girls attracted, but I know that my two main problems are APPROACHING and kino. The thing is, those are two of the most important things. I can't get into good conversation without approaching first. That's why a lot of girls at work like me because I don't have to "approach" them per se before I can chat them up. BUT, the reason why they aren't sexually attracted to me is because of my lack of kino. So when I do use it, it seems forced and that is horrible. But the main thing is, approach, because I need to as well. If you're afraid of approaching, just think, in 10 minutes how will I feel if I do approach, and how will I feel if I don't?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
post a pic of yourself. Girls don't give me EC too and I think cuz i'm a bit below avg looking. Got 7 on hotornot.
It is so hard to approach when girls send out the "stay away from me" signal. For all the guys with good looks but can't approach, I feel sorry for ya. I'd be drowning in pussay if I have above avg looks cuz then I wouldn't have trouble approaching
It is so hard to approach when girls send out the "stay away from me" signal. For all the guys with good looks but can't approach, I feel sorry for ya. I'd be drowning in pussay if I have above avg looks cuz then I wouldn't have trouble approaching
Paintballguy
Master Don Juan
I get lots of EC and attention from women yet im rated 5.9 on hotornot....... That site is retarded if your looking at rating your overall looks. Although, in a week I've already had one hot girl that wants to meet me.
http://meetme.hotornot.com/r/?emid=NRKZG8A
There is mine.
http://meetme.hotornot.com/r/?emid=NRKZG8A
There is mine.
crotchrocket
Don Juan
- Joined
- May 22, 2003
- Messages
- 134
- Reaction score
- 0
napoleon, explain the scenario around the lack of EC, is it no contact at all, or is it that they give EC but look away 2 seconds later thing? Because it is two entirely different things.
If you never catch a girl looking at you, are you looking at them? A buddy of mine always says girls never look at him, with him it's a confidence issue, he may not be the greatest looking guy alive but he walks around like no woman will ever be interested enough to check him out, which is really a self-fullfilling prophecy. On the other hand everywhere I go (for the last 2 years, before that nothing) I constantly catch women giving me serious EC, why? because I have suddenly become much better looking? NO, I don't look any different physically at all, it's partly because of much higher confidence (long story) and partly because I've made it part of my game to EC with as many women in one day as I can, I don't stare, but once they've caught me looking (or vice versa) I don't look away until they've either done the look down/play with the hair thing or smiles have been exchanged. I still don't approach more than 1%, so I definitely need a lot of work in that area yet, but I'm still getting used to all the attention, a problem I am glad I have, for sure.
Do you do any of this? If not give it a try! not only does it show you are confident, it is a confidence booster for you, so it gets easier and more fun each time!
If you never catch a girl looking at you, are you looking at them? A buddy of mine always says girls never look at him, with him it's a confidence issue, he may not be the greatest looking guy alive but he walks around like no woman will ever be interested enough to check him out, which is really a self-fullfilling prophecy. On the other hand everywhere I go (for the last 2 years, before that nothing) I constantly catch women giving me serious EC, why? because I have suddenly become much better looking? NO, I don't look any different physically at all, it's partly because of much higher confidence (long story) and partly because I've made it part of my game to EC with as many women in one day as I can, I don't stare, but once they've caught me looking (or vice versa) I don't look away until they've either done the look down/play with the hair thing or smiles have been exchanged. I still don't approach more than 1%, so I definitely need a lot of work in that area yet, but I'm still getting used to all the attention, a problem I am glad I have, for sure.
Do you do any of this? If not give it a try! not only does it show you are confident, it is a confidence booster for you, so it gets easier and more fun each time!
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Maximus_Decimus
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2003
- Messages
- 183
- Reaction score
- 5
JT47319 and Crotchrocket are right on the money.
An AFC that is willing to approach is on his way to getting p*ssy.
A self proclaimed DJ that is too chicken sh*t to approach gets nothing.
If you read the DJ bible, a core part of the teachings is to get you to approach.
Maximus_Decimus
Here's my pic.I got only 1 rating and it's 9.
http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=BYGLRUG&key=JHL
I give EC to every one on the street, my problem is (i think ) when I see a girl I don't smile I just look(it feels strange). And girl's are looking straight when they pass me-and everybody else-like I don't exist!Maybe they see me from a distance and then pretend?From 20 random women I get 1 or 2 ECs.
http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=BYGLRUG&key=JHL
I give EC to every one on the street, my problem is (i think ) when I see a girl I don't smile I just look(it feels strange). And girl's are looking straight when they pass me-and everybody else-like I don't exist!Maybe they see me from a distance and then pretend?From 20 random women I get 1 or 2 ECs.
JT47319
Master Don Juan
So?
Why aren't you approaching? why aren't you striking up conversations with fellow students? Why aren't you going to parties and flirting with the coeds? etc.
Initial EC is not necessary to talk and/or cold approach.
Maverick001
Senior Don Juan
napoleon,
Taking action is the key.
If you're not confident in approaching then make a game out of it. One night do a guys night out with your buddies, wingmen, etc. and run a rejection game.
The bet is to approach 10 girls in the bar, pub, etc. where the aim is to get rejected. The one with the most rejections after 10 approaches wins. The one with the least rejections loses and has to buy a round or something.
This is loads of fun and you'll be surprised at the results.
Afterwards, you'll realize that rejection is not at all bad and your confidence will be better for it.
Just my 2 cents.
Cheers,
Mav
Taking action is the key.
If you're not confident in approaching then make a game out of it. One night do a guys night out with your buddies, wingmen, etc. and run a rejection game.
The bet is to approach 10 girls in the bar, pub, etc. where the aim is to get rejected. The one with the most rejections after 10 approaches wins. The one with the least rejections loses and has to buy a round or something.
This is loads of fun and you'll be surprised at the results.
Afterwards, you'll realize that rejection is not at all bad and your confidence will be better for it.
Just my 2 cents.
Cheers,
Mav
MetalFortress
Master Don Juan
These guys in class who have girls all talkin to them? They did like a trader does in the stock market: set the initial deal, and then it pays for itself. They approach initially, and are so fun to be around that the girls keep coming back for more.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.