Depending on women too much for social life

[TheCWord]

I've always been one to have a number of acquaintances from many different groups, rather than a core group of friends. And now that everyone's older and busy with their own lives, I can say there is maybe like one guy friend who I hang out with regularly.

This is creating a lack of balance in my life because dating a girl automatically becomes my most reliable social outlet. It gives me at least one weekend night to do something, and the other night I might be content to do nothing. It also gets me out at least one evening during the week as well.

So when a relationship, be it a dating one or an LTR, ends it hits me particularly hard because I've lost a sizeable chunk of my social life.

I know there are other guys on this forum who are like me in that their social circle is small, trend more toward introversion, and are in their late 20s/early 30s and are just not into clubs and that kind of life. What have you guys done to get out more?

Maybe I just don't necessarily know what I like to do yet. When I think about doing something with my evening, I think of either going out to a pub or chilling on the couch. I don't really know what other people do for fun. I have a good idea of what my interests are but I guess I haven't found a way to springboard them into leaving my apartment.

 

[donking]

Bro, I have the same prob. I always get in the habit of doing too much w/ the girl. Granted I've been married previously and gave up a lot. Good thing the ex-wife and I still talk and f from time to time.

I think you gotta get to a certain level where even if the relationship fails, the girl still wants to hang w/ (i.e., f) you. I'm still working on this as my last "relationship" flamed out after 4 mo.

 

[thatfeel]

inb4 oneitis

 

[TheCWord]

I think you gotta get to a certain level where even if the relationship fails, the girl still wants to hang w/ (i.e., f) you. I'm still working on this as my last "relationship" flamed out after 4 mo.

Personal preference perhaps, but I think hanging on to scraps of a relationship isn't productive for either person. Relying on each other for something to do/someone to F would likely inhibit the moving-on process.

 

[TheCWord]

inb4 oneitis

Well, that's just not at all on topic. And seeing as you're the 20-something nailing a geriatric, I would appreciate if you stayed out of this conversation and let the grown ups speak.

Maybe I should've posted this in Mature Man.

 

[JoeMarron]

Well, that's just not at all on topic. And seeing as you're the 20-something nailing a geriatric, I would appreciate if you stayed out of this conversation and let the grown ups speak.

Maybe I should've posted this in Mature Man.

:crackup: he does have a point though. I think this is one of the reason why it's usually harder for the man to move on than the female. Women usually have bigger social circles and closer friends to lean on after a breakup.

I have no advice but I can definitely relate to having a tiny social circle. I've just never had the desire to be social enough to build a large social circle. I guess it's just a matter of stepping out of comfort zones and trying things out/socializing with others until we develop a social circle we're satisfied with.

 

[skinnyguy]

Just take PHM's advice and only use women as sex toys lol

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I'm in the same boat CWord, ecspecially since I moved. No social circle, this place is my social circle. I banged a chick from Tinder last night (just throwing that out there), but for many reasons, I'm not even going to attempt to see her two nights in a row. I don't have any other chicks on the line that are free tonight. What am I supposed to do? I don't have every weekend free, so I'd like to take advantage of them when I do. And, I don't feel like going to the bar by myself right now. There are advantages in doing so, but you should be in a social mood to pull that off.

Heading to the gym right now, so, see how I feel afterwards. Who knows, want to do something though.