denied by co-worker

[unreal-guy]

hi i am new.

i asked my hot female co-worker over MSN if she worked tomorrow and should go for coffee with me because i want to be her friend

she then told me that she worked late shift and her mother is coming back in the morning from another countr, but i don't know if she was telling me the truth and i don't want to find out from other co-workers.

i'm guessing she wasn't interested so should i keep trying or move on?

i don't know if i could see her again at work LOL (im off work for 2 days and i will probably see her when i get back)

 

[blinkwatt]

Be a man about it. Call her at least. Try to stray away from co-workers,go out with customers if possible. Do not ask a single person at work what she is doing ,who cares, you will make things worse. Just let it be,if she is interested you will know.

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

Dude,don't get involved with coworkers,if it gets sour you'll still have to see them everyday.

 

[DonMEgaHoss]

co-workers hmmm...Can be good...can be bad. Which way it goes matters on how you handle it through your actions/words and how you respond to the chicks.

I got in involved with a co-worker she liked me but I screwed it up being a chump... I left that job but now Im back. She's with one of my friends now. Brightens up my day to see this chick and wonder what the fudge did I care about her so much.. She's alittle chubbier too..And I have gotten stronger an leaner. Cause Im constantly improving while everyone around me is in the ruts that they made for themselves.


Get invovled but only if you are man enough to handle the reprocussions of it.. By the way your post sounds... It doesnt sound like it too much.. Just do your thing go do something else

 

[Kings_royalty]

because i want to be her friend

This is a little lame bro, I hate to say. It's not original #1, #2 she's not stupid, she knows that being 'friends' isn't your intentions. You should have worked on building a little rappor with her, flirt a little, get her attraction level up first.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

hi i am new.

Welcome.

i asked my hot female co-worker over MSN if she worked tomorrow and should go for coffee with me because i want to be her friend

There's 3 things wrong here.
1 - You're asking a girl out over MSN. This is just lame and screams "chicken sh!t".

2 - You're asking her to be your friend. Wow. What's the matter? Haven't got enough friends that you need to ask people to be friends with them? Or, (and I'm guessing this is the biggest reason) you're doing what the typical nice guy, pvssy chump does.... you're trying to mask your real intentions by making this date a "friends" thing. This problem is two-fold. One, you're trying to be covert and are assuming she's not sharp enough to catch on to your little ploy to take her out. She's not stupid. She knows you want to date her, so stop pretending otherwise. There's nothing wrong with that fact. She should be delighted, for what it's worth. The second problem is the friends issue. You don't WANT to be her friend, so stop pretending otherwise. You want to fvck her.. make out with her.. do things that friends DON'T do!!

3- She's a Co-Worker!!!!!!!! Don't get involved or make moves on co-workers, ever. If things go wrong, which they almost inevitably do, you'll end up in a very awkward position... aspecially when you've been rejected right out of the gate.

 

[DJHoolahoop]

Well how bout this then. There was a girl I was recently trying to hang out with and she denied me. I made no intentions of saying I was only looking for a friend and I never said I was looking for a relationship. I asked her to go do something with me and she tried to invite our friends out together. I wasn't up to that and told her straight up that I wanted it to be us that hung out and then she got weird sounding and seem to put up a lot of resistance.

I tried asking her once more and she threw out this line saying she was now my best friends gf. I didn't believe it and yet I didn't want to find out either seeing how I never know what to believe a girl says, so for all I knew this was just some shyt test she was throwing out there to see how I'd react.

I've been noticing this pattern of behaviour lately in girls I'm interested in and I'm trying to see what the hell is going on. I still am having a hard time understanding it, but I have a nagging suspicion that we do it to ourselves by "listening" to them when they are really testing you. Difference is knowing that it is a test and wondering if it is.

 

[Kings_royalty]

There was a girl I was recently trying to hang out with and she denied me. I made no intentions of saying I was only looking for a friend and I never said I was looking for a relationship.

You don't have to say it bro, they KNOW instinctively what your intentions are. You have to be honest with yourself. Where you really trying to 'just be friends' or did you want to get her 'alone' to try and develop something.


I asked her to go do something with me and she tried to invite our friends out together. I wasn't up to that

Why weren't you up for that? Being alone with her doesn't increase your chances with her. If anything, she would probably be more relaxed with her friends around, which would make things easier for you because her guard isn't up.

and told her straight up that I wanted it to be us that hung out and then she got weird sounding and seem to put up a lot of resistance.


I'm not surprised this happened. She probably wondered 'why does he want to be alone with me'. Now she doesn't know if you have bad intentions or good ones. There are allot of freaks and weirdos out there, don't make her think you are one of them.


so for all I knew this was just some shyt test she was throwing out there to see how I'd react.

She was trying to be 'nice' while at the same time trying to get rid of you.


I've been noticing this pattern of behaviour lately in girls I'm interested in and I'm trying to see what the hell is going on

It sounds like you aren't getting these girls 'interested' in you bro. You need to get their interest and attraction level UP, everything else will fall into place.

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

This is a big pitfall i used to drop into also,don't try to hide your intentions or as i like to call it "sneak fvck her" with lies and justification of your actions ("noo im not like that,i just want to be your friend","i just want to hang out with you and talk").Make it obvious to her (BL,EC) that you want her (note: not in a wishy-washy afc way,which is through words,presents).Of course carry the attitude that she wants you too.Don't be afraid of your desires,and don't be afraid to show them.

 

[tom121]

wow so i guess he is screwed

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Well how bout this then. There was a girl I was recently trying to hang out with and she denied me. I made no intentions of saying I was only looking for a friend and I never said I was looking for a relationship. I asked her to go do something with me and she tried to invite our friends out together. I wasn't up to that and told her straight up that I wanted it to be us that hung out and then she got weird sounding and seem to put up a lot of resistance.

I tried asking her once more and she threw out this line saying she was now my best friends gf. I didn't believe it and yet I didn't want to find out either seeing how I never know what to believe a girl says, so for all I knew this was just some shyt test she was throwing out there to see how I'd react.

I've been noticing this pattern of behaviour lately in girls I'm interested in and I'm trying to see what the hell is going on. I still am having a hard time understanding it, but I have a nagging suspicion that we do it to ourselves by "listening" to them when they are really testing you. Difference is knowing that it is a test and wondering if it is.

She invited your friends out too, because it was an easy way to say "yes" to your invite but also keep it a non-date. Since you brought up that you wanted otherwise, you gave her no choice but to shoot you down. Why is this? Because she wasn't interested. That's it.

She tells you she's with your friend, now, the second time you invite her. This isn't a sh!t test. She's being upfront with you. Look at your first paragraph. read this line again. "she tried to invite our friends out together"... isn't this all starting to add up? She was digging your friend and tried to turn your invitation into a chance to hang out with him. plain and simple.

I've been noticing this pattern of behaviour lately in girls I'm interested in and I'm trying to see what the hell is going on.....

This has nothing to do with what your suspicions are pointing towards.

You are making the mistake (as many on here have fooled themselves into believing) that just because you play the game, that every girl you're interested in should fall for you... just because you do everything "by the book" doesn't mean it will always work. 9 times out of 10, she's just not attracted to you. And if she isn't there's pretty much nothing you can do about it.

I'm guessing that you are showing yourself to be of lesser value than the girls you're interested in (in one way or another)and the second you do that it's all over. no one wants to feel like they'd be settling for someone of lesser value. (and I'm not saying you are.... but my feelings are that there's something in your actions and demeanor that is conveing this to them) It's time to start picking yourself apart and trying to find exactly what your problem is.

 

[DJDamage]

There's 3 things wrong here.
1 - You're asking a girl out over MSN. This is just lame and screams "chicken sh!t".

2 - You're asking her to be your friend. Wow. What's the matter? Haven't got enough friends that you need to ask people to be friends with them? Or, (and I'm guessing this is the biggest reason) you're doing what the typical nice guy, pvssy chump does.... you're trying to mask your real intentions by making this date a "friends" thing. This problem is two-fold. One, you're trying to be covert and are assuming she's not sharp enough to catch on to your little ploy to take her out. She's not stupid. She knows you want to date her, so stop pretending otherwise. There's nothing wrong with that fact. She should be delighted, for what it's worth. The second problem is the friends issue. You don't WANT to be her friend, so stop pretending otherwise. You want to fvck her.. make out with her.. do things that friends DON'T do!!

3- She's a Co-Worker!!!!!!!! Don't get involved or make moves on co-workers, ever. If things go wrong, which they almost inevitably do, you'll end up in a very awkward position... aspecially when you've been rejected right out of the gate.

:rockon:

 

[DJDamage]

I've been noticing this pattern of behaviour lately in girls I'm interested in and I'm trying to see what the hell is going on. I still am having a hard time understanding it, but I have a nagging suspicion that we do it to ourselves by "listening" to them when they are really testing you. Difference is knowing that it is a test and wondering if it is.

They are not testing you, they are trying to tell you in the nicest possible way without blurting out "would you fvck off already I am not interested". Work on your game and things would fall into place.

 

[unreal-guy]

ummm so what should i do now?

the reason i asked her over msn is because she doesn't have cell phone
and she give me her msn herself so she can send me some photos from co-workers gathering

she broke up with a guy last month and i'm thinking she still has feeling for him, they were living together but now seperate.

i should've been more close to her at that time because i felt she was trying to get my attention as we were having conversation
but i didn't want to be a rebound so i never bothered.

 

[PRMoon]

Yeah

okay nobody comes here and post on this site because they want to be "friends" with some one and got turned down. If you legitametly wanted to be friends with her then it would be no problem to to speak to her face to face and casually ask her if she wanted to grab a cup of coffee while at work. Ironically this shouldn't be that difficult whether you're gaming her or just trying to be your her friend.

First of all you should read through the first couple post on the discussion board about how to use this site. Follow those instructions. Then apply what you've learned. You've got two days so you could probably burn through this stuff with no problem.

Out of curiousity what kind of place to you work? I'm split on dating people at your job and the venue definately has something to do with that opinion. I really think you should speak with her face to face but you seem kind of green to the whole pick up cycle so maybe that's not the best idea in the world.

 

[DJHoolahoop]

They are not testing you, they are trying to tell you in the nicest possible way without blurting out "would you fvck off already I am not interested". Work on your game and things would fall into place.

i had a feeling that this was the case. i had felt a "losing" battle the entire time and am happy you guys left me with some feedback. i'm trying to figure out where things are going wrong and normally i would have had no problems hanging out with her and our friends, but when i'm out i don't like ignoring my friends or diverting my attention from them.

the funny thing is that i was going to tell her that i would change plans around and hang out with our friends only that i didn't want to feel like i was appealing to her. i understood her reason to have people she knew around so she could trust me, i was worried that it would only continue to be that way and that she'd use that as a safety net. that's why i was going to take a chance and say lets all hang out, but then she changed her view around and thought i meant just me and her.

i have other girls i'm interested in and am working on hanging out with only something like this keeps happening and i'm trying oh so hard to figure out why. meanwhile my friend can't even work up the courage to ask for a girls phone number and yet he's getting girls interested in him all the time.