Demanding ladies.. Wow.

[Dash Riprock]

As strange as it sounds, my bumble message never sent. Said failed to send. So, I sent a new one said sure, let play some tennis. What's your cell so we can setup a time/date when is good for both of us. She replied, I really do not feel comfortable in sending my cell out to someone who I've not met yet or communicated with yet, but I'd still like to play tennis. Hope we can still play.

Huh? You'd go meet me to play tennis at a tennis court where there is not many people around, but not give me your cell? I just replied. Okay. If you change your mind, feel free to message me back. Take care.


Can't win.

I can see OP's point about asking her out for drinks and she counters with tennis, as a man should take the lead and make the plan. I probably wouldn't have taken the tennis offer either. Plus, it's a bad choice for a first date. I DO like drinks for a first date because communication skills are everything and if there's no chemistry it's easy to bail after an hour or less.

So, for me, it IS a flag if the woman starts wanting to change up my plan right away, especially for a first date. It tells me she's bossy, and always has to get her way. Let the man LEAD.

Now, here's where you f*ucked up: It's 2018. People don't like giving out their personal info to people they don't know. REALLY dumb reason to eject. I NEVER give out my personal cell number to OLD or even IRL dates, at least for a few months. I have a Google Voice number with an out of state area code I use. I've met a fair number of women who prefer to communicate via the OLD app until at least after the first date. Nothing wrong with that.

Good luck.

 

[AJ84]

As strange as it sounds, my bumble message never sent. Said failed to send. So, I sent a new one said sure, let play some tennis. What's your cell so we can setup a time/date when is good for both of us. She replied, I really do not feel comfortable in sending my cell out to someone who I've not met yet or communicated with yet, but I'd still like to play tennis. Hope we can still play.

Huh? You'd go meet me to play tennis at a tennis court where there is not many people around, but not give me your cell? I just replied. Okay. If you change your mind, feel free to message me back. Take care.


Can't win.

Personally I would prefer to talk on the phone first before meeting, but I know a lot of women and men for that matter who are hesitant to give out their phone numbers based on past negative experiences.

However it sounds like this is on the whole an annoying experience for you at this point anyway. The lead up to meeting has been filled with your frustrations so that could be the vibe in your mind if you did finally meet up with her.

I don’t fully agree though with some here who think she’s trying to control things. It could be that but there’s not enough to go on. It could be that she wants to meet in a place or context that feels safe for her. The fact that she said she wasn’t comfortable giving you her number may be an indication of that.

FYI- going for drinks is nothing for guys but there are women who have had bad experiences going out for drinks with someone they didn’t know. Men don’t know what it’s like to have to think about stuff like do I meet him in public/private/if I drink I can’t take my car should I let him drive me home? Etc etc.
This is the crap we have to think about, unfortunately, when we decide to meet a male stranger for drinks. So to the guys here who get annoyed if she declines going out for drinks and suggests something else: Consider that it could just be a safety thing for her, not her trying to be a man by leading.
These are concerns you guys don’t have to worry about usually.

 

[RickTheToad]

Now, here's where you f*ucked up: It's 2018. People don't like giving out their personal info to people they don't know. REALLY dumb reason to eject. I NEVER give out my personal cell number to OLD or even IRL dates, at least for a few months. I have a Google Voice number with an out of state area code I use. I've met a fair number of women who prefer to communicate via the OLD app until at least after the first date. Nothing wrong with that.

Good luck.

Perhaps, but I've been burned before by showing up and the lady just forgetting or not showing up. I believe I posted this a couple of weeks ago where she just forgot about the date so I am there just waiting like an idiot.

Personally I would prefer to talk on the phone first before meeting, but I know a lot of women and men for that matter who are hesitant to give out their phone numbers based on past negative experiences.

However it sounds like this is on the whole an annoying experience for you at this point anyway. The lead up to meeting has been filled with your frustrations so that could be the vibe in your mind if you did finally meet up with her.

I don’t fully agree though with some here who think she’s trying to control things. It could be that but there’s not enough to go on. It could be that she wants to meet in a place or context that feels safe for her. The fact that she said she wasn’t comfortable giving you her number may be an indication of that.

FYI- going for drinks is nothing for guys but there are women who have had bad experiences going out for drinks with someone they didn’t know. Men don’t know what it’s like to have to think about stuff like do I meet him in public/private/if I drink I can’t take my car should I let him drive me home? Etc etc.
This is the crap we have to think about, unfortunately, when we decide to meet a male stranger for drinks. So to the guys here who get annoyed if she declines going out for drinks and suggests something else: Consider that it could just be a safety thing for her, not her trying to be a man by leading.
These are concerns you guys don’t have to worry about usually.

Perhaps, but meeting in a stranger in at a tennis court where no one is around is safe? I do not see how. Perhaps it the way I think. No one is perfect.

Fvck is wrong with you guys? do you have autism or some kind of other social disorder? one guy can't imagine how tennis could include social interaction, another can't talk to a woman while out on a bike ride. Slow the pace, talk to her at breaks and shorten the play/ride intervals and session, take a walk/sidetrack during breaks and/or after the game/ride to some pond or whatever, do something mischievous like racketing her with the ball when you go to "resume" the game and then keep escalating with her instead of going back to the game. And it's 2018, girls today don't give out their numbers. They give out some form of social media.

To each there own. No, I do not have autism. However, I do not meet without a way to get in contact with a lady. There is no talking during the game of tennis. There's yelling, but I do not think that would be a good situation. Then again, being stinky and sweaty on a first meet doesn't seem that opportune to me. Again, maybe I am wrong. Certainly possible.

 

[HankHill]

This is why coffee is a fantastic first date venue for me. No alcohol involved, safe, public, easy to eject from and smaller tab if the date is a dud. Best of all, even if you can't find a cool coffee house there's a Starbucks at every corner of every major intersection- and they have both hot and cold beverages in case it's 100F out there.

 

[zekko]

I'd gladly go play tennis with her. You can talk to her between sets or at changeovers or at water breaks, or even between points. It's not like they can't hear you on the other side of the net anyway, you give the score after all. Besides, PUAs are always pushing "action dates", here's a good one. Worst case scenario, you pick up a new tennis partner.

 

[2Rocky]

My guess is you didn't have faith in your ability to play tennis with her. I could see how you might be intimidated if she was a better player than you and aced you every serve. Word of advice guys, if you list an activity on your OLD profile better be ready to back your play when your hand is called.

And "Getting Sweaty" as an excuse? Hell I've had more women show interest in me after a run with a sweat soaked shirt than any other time. and I mean women hugging and kissing me. The post exercise endorphins are like love potion...You missed out.

 

[RickTheToad]

My guess is you didn't have faith in your ability to play tennis with her. I could see how you might be intimidated if she was a better player than you and aced you every serve. Word of advice guys, if you list an activity on your OLD profile better be ready to back your play when your hand is called.

And "Getting Sweaty" as an excuse? Hell I've had more women show interest in me after a run with a sweat soaked shirt than any other time. and I mean women hugging and kissing me. The post exercise endorphins are like love potion...You missed out.

Hardly. I have dozens of trophies from playing in events in CT and charities. Pics of me playing are on the app.

 

[synergy1]

Not a great account of spinning plates. Note plates. Not plate.

Not doing it right.

Lets think of this from another point of view - sometimes its not easy to spin plates ( or plate) if there are not plates to spin. Since hitting 38, my match rate on bumble is < 1%, and the only women on match.com who contact me are in their mid 40s. Clearly the supply/demand picture where I live is imbalanced. Sure you have the normal women who want to date a little older, but it seems to be a plethora of women who are only dating younger than them. Overweight+ kids+ 45+ and still only dating men who are in their late 30s.

In most parts of the US, this probably isn't a problem. I've been to the cities and its been okay. But as soon as you go anyplace similar to where I am, the imbalance is noticeable very quickly.

 

[RickTheToad]

Another two ladies asked me to play tennis. One, I was talking to last year, but it was hard to set up a date. Amazing body, and pics of her in a tennis skirt. Wow. I "liked" her in the app, she liked me, I said hey how are you? She immediately replied, up for tennis? Said sure. She then said when? Today? Can't today, but give me your number and we'll set something up. I have her number and I reach out tomorrow. I am at the Southport beach right now with a few buddies. I do wonder if she still has my number and the text exchange from last year. It was a stupid move I did, so I am surprised she's open to play a game. We were setting up a date to play, then she went dark for a day, so I stupidly reached out and said no prob. I can see you have low interest in meeting up, take care. I still have the texts as well. BS move on my part. Doubtful she forgot about it. Not sure.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Lets think of this from another point of view - sometimes its not easy to spin plates ( or plate) if there are not plates to spin. Since hitting 38, my match rate on bumble is < 1%, and the only women on match.com who contact me are in their mid 40s.

School boy error.

You are a man. WTF is this passive dating online horse ****?

It panders to female logic/nature, hypergamy, and entitlement. Look, beggar's can't be choosers. Sure, swipe right but start hitting on babes. Go get baeeeee.

Several venues are breeding grounds. Get in the gym especially pushing forty. Keep test up. Clean up diet. Lift heavy. Check group classes (yoga, spin, boot camp, crossfit, etc). They are full of women.

Check rsd inner circle fb group for wings if you must. Go get baeeeeees. She can't fake being thin IRL. She can't wear filters or hide being crazy, BPD, drug addict or weird.

Clearly the supply/demand picture where I live is imbalanced. Sure you have the normal women who want to date a little older, but it seems to be a plethora of women who are only dating younger than them. Overweight+ kids+ 45+ and still only dating men who are in their late 30s

I would not know. I am thirty and my standards are top form SMV. Ie 18-23. Anything but is for LULz and sport.

Your perspective is based online due to women's entitlement.

At 38, new girls are turning 18+ everyday. Step up.

In most parts of the US, this probably isn't a problem. I've been to the cities and its been okay. But as soon as you go anyplace similar to where I am, the imbalance is noticeable very quickly.

Quit making excuses.

Move.


You have a choice. Step up or step aside.

 

[Roober]

Perhaps, but I do not meet people without a way to contact them. I've done that before and so have a few of my friends, and we've all said it's a bad idea because we've all been stood up before. They just close the match (like this one did after I said take care) and then there is no way to get in contact with her.



As luck would have it, the previous message never sent, so I did agree and still got blocked because she's not comfortable with giving out a phone number. I've received hundreds of phone numbers over the years, this is the firs that refused. She obviously likes to play games, I just will not play them. I did become flexible, and it wasn't enough. Not sure what else I could had done. I had a funny feeling this would happen when she pushed for tennis instead of drinks. Prob. just doing it for attention. I've disabled bumble for the time being. It just seems very low quality ladies on the platform in my area. Or, they like to play these games. Just not worth it.

At one time, online dating was good, now it seems like a cesspool. I was listening to Z100 this morning and the topic was online dating apps. Many are having the same experiences. Even one of the DJ's (lady not man) said with so many options, many just think there's something better coming around the corner. But, they wait too late and all the good people are passing them by as they swipe left because of silly reasons.

I agreed with @Desdinova and others here. You wasted an opportunity. Get sweaty? Who cares. Out in the heat? Who cares.

Your rant afterwards also supports the notion that you internal game is weak. The victim mentality is never a good path on the road to self-improvement. It's unfortunate that your ego is too big to see it.

I saw live and learn, recalibrate, and be a bit more open minded. But admit your mistakes. Why shoot down an opportunity? The man with the most opportunity is going to have the most success.

 

[synergy1]

School boy error.

You have a choice. Step up or step aside.

For some men my age, they have never been *there* and never had any form of success. Not me. I was cleaning up a while back. i used to be busting with confidence. No ****ing idea what has happened since. I surrendered the frame I used to have and am now aligned to expectations of this online bull****.

As for venues i think your right. Going to take that advice to heart and make some goddamn changes.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

For some men my age, they have never been *there* and never had any form of success. Not me. I was cleaning up a while back. i used to be busting with confidence. No ****ing idea what has happened since. I surrendered the frame I used to have and am now aligned to expectations of this online bull****.

Its about tolerance. Its not much diff then a FAer or incel acceptance of abstinence. Its pathetic. I don't need another explanation on female nature or e standards. I get it.

Check red Tyler.

Perfect content for you given age and mindset. RSD is a lot of spam cold approach and marketing but, their genius is worth recognizing. Its a lot of Hocus-Pocus ATM ever since the Julian **** storm whereby, SJWs and angry feminist kicked man off planet. Its coinciding with victimhood and outrage culture.

Nobody has all the answers. Its ideal to sift through TRP, Rollo, RMG, pickup, online, and other sources like Jordan Peterson. Free thinking is GOAT.

If you don't change, it will get worse.

As for venues i think your right. Going to take that advice to heart and make some goddamn changes.

Good stuff Synergy1 mate.

When I started this journey, I was beta as ****. I wanted a wife and kids. I spent years, nearly a decade at pickup between LTRs, flings, ONS, FWBs, **** buddies, etc.

Who I was before and who I am now isn't the same person. There's no going back. I see female nature as it is. Not how I wish it would be.

Inundate oneself with mgtow, red pill, Peterson, pickup, and other content. I recently read a book by Ram Dass. I am not trying to be a monk nor mgtow or Peterson. I sift through what's what, I apply, keep what works, and disregard the rest.

Go lift. Go in nature. Meditate. Do yoga. Do pickup. Minimum three approaches per day. ****, say hi. Get to the point of chain gunning cold approach @ everything thin, Young attractive. Obviously, use common sense. No means no.

It only gets harder with age Playboy. Keep me updated.

 

[R.U.G.]

I still cannot see how Tyler or whatever his name is gets any attractive women. He looks like Gwildor.

 

[RickTheToad]

I agreed with @Desdinova and others here. You wasted an opportunity. Get sweaty? Who cares. Out in the heat? Who cares.

Your rant afterwards also supports the notion that you internal game is weak. The victim mentality is never a good path on the road to self-improvement. It's unfortunate that your ego is too big to see it.

I saw live and learn, recalibrate, and be a bit more open minded. But admit your mistakes. Why shoot down an opportunity? The man with the most opportunity is going to have the most success.

I never meet without a phone number. I did that once and she blew me off. I do not make the same mistake twice. No number, no meet.

 

[Roober]

I never meet without a phone number. I did that once and she blew me off. I do not make the same mistake twice. No number, no meet.

Just a suggestion, so take it as you wish. It would be good to be a bit more flexible. Peoples actions and emotions are fluid and there are not defined rules that can possibly to everyone, let alone a majority or people.

I used to never confirm prior to date, and I had one girl, who I heard nothing. I waited till 15 mins after we were supposed to meet, saying I was late. I was about 15 minutes away. She thought I had cancelled cause she didnt hear anything. From now on, when women dont confirm the day of, I will shoot a message an hour before. I wont assume it's a flake because I understand that expecting everyone to act the same is silly. We all have different experiences and backgrounds, and should behave differently.

My point is, She had different expectations than me, but it did teach me to not be so rigid and let one persons actions define my response. It's natural for humans to follow patterns, we are biologically wired to follow them. Understanding the variation in social dynamics is critical to the game and people in general.

 

[glass half full]

She sounds like a control freak, looking for another sucker. I married one lol...IMO, making you jump through a hoop or three before even getting to know each other sets a dangerous pattern. I think you did the right thing by nexting her. A friendly game of Pool in a bar followed by a drink (your idea, not hers- that's the point I'm making here).

She was setting the frame (which is your job), not a good beginning as it sets the tone for the relationship, if it happens.

 

[ubercat]

Haha a long time ago a girl invited me for tennis once we both turned up without our tennis racquets.

Don't worry about what they say too much. Their job is to keep fronting your job is to try and f*** them.

Too many people not doing their job these days.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Doubtful. Point is to learn and get to know someone. Can't do that over tennis.

Abso-tively wrong in every way you can possibly imagine. You're plan is to spend a few bucks (in itself inconsequential), to buy her time and attention, to lead to what end? '"til death do us part"?

The point is to drive her around the block a coupla' times to see if she's worth investing time and attention into. See if she can hold conversation and maintain a playful attitude, then see what you can give each other on a sexual level. From that foundation you can build the next five-minutes together.

 

[RickTheToad]

Abso-tively wrong in every way you can possibly imagine. You're plan is to spend a few bucks (in itself inconsequential), to buy her time and attention, to lead to what end? '"til death do us part"?

The point is to drive her around the block a coupla' times to see if she's worth investing time and attention into. See if she can hold conversation and maintain a playful attitude, then see what you can give each other on a sexual level. From that foundation you can build the next five-minutes together.

I disagree. I will only go when I have a way to contact them. Like this other lady who wants to place tennis (much hotter by the way). I asked for her cell and she provided it. We have it set for Saturday. This one also tried to change the location, but I stood my ground and she caved. Never let them change the location. She did move the time an hour later 10am instead of 9am, so I did compromise on that.

Never let the woman change the venue or set the motion. It shows you are a doormat.