well if someone comes to you and shouts "fvck you", that's rude! but its not the kinda rude behaviour which is difficult to deal with. esp if you have a loud voice and giant body! what is difficult, is when someone tries to use your weak points in a "just kidding" way. and that kinda sh!t is not easy to get over. esp if the bad guy is good at what he's doing. if you get angry, you have immediately lost it. you can pretend that you are not hearing anything of what he's implying. well, do this and again you have lost it. he'll know he's got you. even if you try to JOKE BACK in his own words and terms and tone of voice, you're still in HIS frame. and anybody, even a kid can get you when you're in his frame. you can't be as good as anyone in their own frames.
so what? suppose you are among a groups of mates, you say something, and someone finds something funny about what you said, and laughs at it in a "damn I like your talking style buddy" way, but by his tone of laughter he's very subtly implying "hey guys look what a stupid bully we have here".
well, mr alpha, what to do here? maybe not many of your friends have noticed what this bad guy is doing, but he's trying to play you, and right now all of his attention is focused upon you to analyze your reaction.
I think what is important in such situations isn't really "what to do". its rather what not to feel. if you don't feel in a way you shoudn't, you'll automatically act correctly. don't believe what the bad guy is implying. yeah, if you just don't believe him, if you stay confident no matter what he's trying to tell implicitly, then you can get him. you'll automatically analyze why he's tring to offend you, and from that you'll get HIS weak point. then even a correct look into his eyes will do him! but the key to this is to not lose your own frame by his offense and stay confident. and that thing won't come just by trying. you have to be a confident person in general. and this is why this forum is living. to help us become confident people in general.
so what? suppose you are among a groups of mates, you say something, and someone finds something funny about what you said, and laughs at it in a "damn I like your talking style buddy" way, but by his tone of laughter he's very subtly implying "hey guys look what a stupid bully we have here".
well, mr alpha, what to do here? maybe not many of your friends have noticed what this bad guy is doing, but he's trying to play you, and right now all of his attention is focused upon you to analyze your reaction.
I think what is important in such situations isn't really "what to do". its rather what not to feel. if you don't feel in a way you shoudn't, you'll automatically act correctly. don't believe what the bad guy is implying. yeah, if you just don't believe him, if you stay confident no matter what he's trying to tell implicitly, then you can get him. you'll automatically analyze why he's tring to offend you, and from that you'll get HIS weak point. then even a correct look into his eyes will do him! but the key to this is to not lose your own frame by his offense and stay confident. and that thing won't come just by trying. you have to be a confident person in general. and this is why this forum is living. to help us become confident people in general.
