Delicate situation

[DonJuanabe]

There are about 100 temp employees on a project at my office. One of them is super smart, in great physical shape (six-pack abs!), and very nerdy. She and I seemed to click, we talked a bit each day for a week or so, and the other day I asked given that I am technically her boss would it be inappropriate if I asked her to have dinner with me -- she responded that asking her would be *appropriate*. We went out to dinner tonight. Had a good time. She is cool and rather interesting. At the end I did not go for the kiss close because I am technically her supervisor and, well, you can figure that one out. We hugged and chatted by her car and I said we should do this again, she agreed, then I commented that it feels a bit weird since I am technically her boss, she replied then let's not tell anyone about it we'll keep it between us, then we hugged again. I don't know whether she wanted to kiss or not because I was completely in my head about the potential for sexual harassment or similar problem resulting from this.

 

[BMX]

She will soon have your job title, benefits and be hired on full-time. You will be told to pack your sh!t and leave.

 

[SecondHalf]

What BMX said.

This will not end well. It never does.
Don't touch this chick. This will mess with your livelihood.

If she's hot, she likely has hot friends.
Slowly turn her into a wing man.
Use something like ... "Can't happen with us because we work together, but we can help each other out, as long as I go first, it's just too easy for women" (lot's of stuff to play with here)...

Or ... fire her

SH

 

[The Duke]

Delicate.......more like stupid. All self induced I might add. You can't trust a woman's word.

 

[samspade]

Millions of women in this country...find one outside your office.

 

[vatoloco]

http://zipmeme.com/uploads/generated/g135178573324169459.jpg

If I were you, I'd keep things cordial but never, EVER go out with her again. It will now only take for her to get pissed off at you to get you fired. Two words for you: SEXUAL. HARASSMENT.

I pray there is no record anywhere (e-mails, texts, phone calls, etc.) that could come back to bite you in the ass...

 

[Bokanovsky]

Just wait until the temp project is over. Once you're no longer her boss, you can do whatever you want.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Second date. Kiss close. It is what it is.

 

[SecondHalf]

Haha, so be it.
Wouldn't pretend to know enough to advise you beyond this point.
Many more gamers here than i!

However, common sense tells me, if you start to lose control, go Afc.
Get hourself dropped!

I'm out!

Good luck,

SH

 

[Slickster]

I have been in a similar spot. Not a good place to be but......

You need to prepare for a soft landing. When this ends there absolutely cannot be any animosity on either side. You can only really control yourself. How are you at break ups? Are you still friends with previous exes?

Tough to tell but does she seem the type who could handle a breakup well? If you sense otherwise things could get ugly fast. You mention she is nerdy. That could mean super clingy and messy breakup.

You need to play less games and be more genuine. If you do play games it has to be extremely subtle. Going too far will lead to serious drama. Being genuine and real will most likely end up with her actually liking you as a person and not seeing you as some kind of player. If she truly likes you she will be less likely to attack you later if things get weird.

If it does get weird leave any emotion out of it. You need to eject quietly and let it go completely. No drama or jealousy. Better if she is the one who ends it and you act as though you are slightly hurt but remain cool. You absolutely cannot attempt to reignite the flame!

I have done this successfully in the past but don't recommend it. In the future you will look back and wonder why you took the risk.

God luck.

 

[Warrior74]

Just wait until the temp project is over. Once you're no longer her boss, you can do whatever you want.

This. Don't be an idiot.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Her interest level is 90-100% and she's coming over this Saturday to hang out. The text trail shows that she is definitely an equal pursuer of her own accord and there is no sexual harassment of any kind. It is amazing the difference between very high interest and mediocre or low interest -- so simple, fun, easy. No guessing or wondering, no bull****, no flaking. My attitude is it is what it is, if it lasts great, if not that's fine, I am not getting emotionally invested and won't allow that until a few months have gone by (assuming it goes that long). We text a lot so I'm making sure hers are the longer texts and I make sure to go ghost occasionally until after she either sends more texts or sees me in person.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Don Juanabe,
Tempting as it might seem,as one Scot to another..Bale out now!

 

[vatoloco]

The text trail shows that she is definitely an equal pursuer of her own accord and there is no sexual harassment of any kind. It is amazing the difference between very high interest and mediocre or low interest -- so simple, fun, easy. No guessing or wondering, no bull****, no flaking.

Although it's great for a woman's IL to be so high, the bliss, IMO, is not worth the risk of losing one's job. Especially in this economy. Plus courts tend to believe women are "more equal" and "more innocent" than men. Better to not put yourself in a situation where it's your word against hers. You will more than likely get the short end of the stick.

Well, you seem to be set in what you wanna do so all I can do is wish you good luck my friend.

I'm out.

 

[bmp2cpm]

.....and I make sure to go ghost occasionally.....

How can you go ghost when you have to see the person EVERY workday?

Is she that exceptional a woman to put her ahead of your own career? At your age, is career not important to you? Have you thought what your career will be like if this ends badly? Do you want to have to revisit a train wreck EVERY workday? People talk. People network. If it ends up a train wreck, your co-workers at future jobs will know too.