"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Deicide's FR Journal

Deicide

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I think this FR Journal should log my progress. This thing is probably going to look rough at first, but I'm still getting over anxiety and social negativity issues. I did do two approaches tonight, but thanks to my nerves and inability to think on my feet, I didn't number close.

Chili's Restaraunt, crowded on a Saturday Night. I'm with my Mom, Dad, sister, and her BF. But I slip away to do a couple approaches.
3-girl set with 2 HB Latinas
Opener: Hello, I need your opinion on this. What color do you think my hair is?
Basically, we get into the details of me getting my hair fixed. One girl says blonde, another one asks what color I wanted to get. And one girl sugests to do whatever I want with my hair. It wasn't bad at all, except for the following.
The bad: After this portion, I get nervous after getting my opener answered, and leave without saying my name or anything.
3-girl set with 1 HB Black.
Opener: Hello, I need your opinion on this. I just got this watch for Christmas, what do you think?
The HB smiles at me and tell me it looks alright. I'm getting nervous, and I end up rambling? "Are you sure, Does it look good, Does it look great?" And she ends up telling me "Ok, Bye."
I'm not happy with my results. I'm a very nervous person in general, and I always have a fear of getting a bad reputation for doing PU stuff, getting kicked out of places for PU, the girls knowing that I'm trying to PU them, or the girls thinking I'm weird for doing these things.
I have what it takes to approach, but I have a lot of work to do! I know this will get better with more approaches. I did about 75 approaches between October-December 2010, but they were mainly to try and get me out of my comfort zone. This is honestly me.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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macallik

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good luck. Keep approaching and don't beat yourself up. It will take a lot of approaches to get better and from the looks of things you are ready to pay the price of experience to get better so you should be losing that nervousness in no time
 

Deicide

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Thanks, I appreciate the support.
County Library
3 Approaches
Mature woman/average looks
I approach her using natural game(Hi, how're you, have you found anything good yet?). but she remembered me from the store that I am a cashier at. There was good conversation, but as soon as I learned she had a husband, my interest was lowered.
HB 6 Mature woman
I look at her, she smiles(IOI), I then approach her. Small talk over computers and life, she has her kid(who is about my age) with her, and we're just passing through. No number close.
Average looking woman on her laptop
No IOI's. "Hello, how is this wireless internet here?". Then we get into a full fledged conversation and I tell her the reason I was there(books and guitar tabs), and she tells me of her boyfriend who plays guitar too. I ask if he is giving lessons, then discussion about music, guitar styles, what music I play. I end up getting her boyfriend's number for lessons, though she accidentally started writing her number down on my guitar tabs at first, which is funny.
Not bad, but no results. Still, any approach is going to decrease my anxieties about approaching. I'm a lot more comfortable using natural/small talk game than crazy openers(Do you think certain types of music attract women to men?). I'm in a small town away from the closest city by an hour, so approach opportunities are not as large as in the city.
 

Deicide

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Chinese Restaraunt
Older mature black woman
I said hello and smiled, asked her why she was by herself, and she said she wanted a day to do things by herself. I wanted to number close, until she said she was a housewife. She didn't give me that awkward look I usually receive from women when I cold approach, maybe this new look is helping out.
After that in a small town, I just went to shops, and would smile and say Hello to any attractive woman I saw. A couple would say Hi back, but I still feel uncomfortable going after mature women that are probably married. I went to a grocery store and did the same thing, and I could tell one of the workers thought I was stealing because he went up to me and said "If you need any help, sir, just let me know". Haha, I work in retail, I know that trick. I need to sarge without being suspicious. I went to Wal-Mart and said Hi to a woman who had a kid, but she didn't respond to me, whatever, no loss there. It was just a day of exploration and trying to get comfortable talking to attractive women, even though I only had one approach. I know I can do more, and do better, it will take some time. Next week, I think I will be in my college town for a day, and I will be on the lookout for women then for sure.
 

Deicide

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Wal Mart
HB6 shopping
"Excuse me, What are you doing here this afternoon" She said, shopping for her baby, and didn't seem interested in talking to me. No number-close.
Financial Institution
HB6-7
I break into a conversation by asking if she had tried that particular roller coaster machine. I found out a lot about her through a couple minutes of conversation, and we both were laughing and had rapport. I asked for her number, and she said she had a husband and two kids. First number close attempt of the year, but nothing. Rejection is nothing.
College starts Tuesday, and I already have a few women in mind that I will be number-closing. I will continue my cold approaches and trying to number close after first meeting women I'm looking forward to it!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Deicide

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Wal Mart in a different town, 9th approach of the year.
HB 7 Mature brunette
I just open with Hello, and she reciprocates. It is very basic conversation at first, about what we're doing at the time. I tell her about how I'm shopping with my family and what movie I went and saw. I tease her about her looking at wallets for the last couple minutes despite her saying they're not good. I tell her I am from out of town, but just visiting. She inititates the "My name is" part, and we shake hands, I tell her name, and for some reason, I don't number close, though we mentioned that we would talk the next time we see each other. I'm a little mad at myself for not number closing on the best approach of the year so far. But, at the same time, it is a reference for this upcoming week to leave no regrets behind and to not let my people-pleasing ways interfere with my success with women. I was subconsciously worried I would mess up a good thing by number-closing her, and I have to let those worries and fears go away. Still, this was bound to happen eventually, and it should motivate me to number close as much as possible. I will grow from this.
 

JLW

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Just out of curiosity, how old are these "mature" people you are talking to? You may want to stick with people in your age bracket (18-25)
 

powpow

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guys just diversifying his bonds. latina, black, old...

seems like youre still getting socialized. dont worry bro keep going.
 

Deicide

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JLW said:
Just out of curiosity, how old are these "mature" people you are talking to? You may want to stick with people in your age bracket (18-25)
Late 30's, early 40's. I like older women, so it doesn't bother me. And they usually respond to me much better than women my age. The bad thing about them is that most of them are already married.
And my parents dragged me to Wal Mart after we went to the movies, so I had to take advantage of it, I could've had more approaches, but I'm still getting over my approach anxieties. After I did that one approach though, I felt like I could've done more approaches. So, if I get through one approach, more should follow.
I move back into college today, so there will be a ton of approach opportunities in the cafeteria, gameroom, library, classes, walking during the day, etc... I have a private room for the first time ever this semester, and I definitely want women coming over..
I've improved so much more than a year ago. I never would have dreamed of approaching women in public.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Deicide

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Dorm Parking Lot
HB 7 Mixed black and white woman
I see her and tell her Hello, she does the same and I walk over to where her car is. We do small talk for a couple minutes, and I offer to carry some of her stuff up. She asks me a lot of questions about what my major is, what activities I do, etc... Then we get to her room, I put down her stuff, we shake hands and introduce each other. I tell her "We can meet together sometime if you want", and she agrees, and I tell her we will exchange numbers, she gets mine, and I get hers. It's my first number close of the year, and my first number close from a cold approach ever! I'm pleased, but there is more work to do.
Wal-Mart(I know, but there were so many HB college women shopping, though I was in there for tape, I had to do at least one)
HB 6 White girl
I ask her if she goes to college where I go since she is wearing my campus's sweatshirt, and she says yes. We engage in small talk about the places we live, and she says she has to get going, I tell her my name, she doesn't tell me hers, I know what that means. No loss, no number close.
HB 7 Brunette walking across campus
This girl was walking to the same place I was going. I said Hello and she did too, and I ended up finding out she was going to a Ghosthunter's Meeting. We introduced our names and shook hands, I didn't number close because we only talked for about 2 minutes, but I need to get more comfortable with number closing in a short time period. Nothing was lost, and I can probably get her number the next time we talk. I have this last college semester, and that is it. Things have to get going fast.
 

Deicide

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HB 6/7 Mixed Black and White Girl
College Cafeteria
I was just looking for a place to sit down, and I saw her, so I went and sat by her. We talked for a few minutes about our majors, classses, etc... And i could tell she was subconscious about herself already when she asked me "Do you think I'm approachable, and that I don't have a bad attitude?". I told her "So far, you smiled at me first" and she laughed. After a couple minutes, I told her "We can met again sometime if you want". She wanted to do facebook stuff, but I told her let's exchange numbers, and we did. So, now I have 2 phone numbers from college this week.
 

Deicide

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Ok, I found out the first girl I got a number from on campus has a boyfriend. I'm not happy with this, but whatever, I need to at least talk to her and figure things out.
HB 7/8 Thai woman
I saw her walk into my Japanese class this morning after I had already sat down. After class was over, I went all the way to the back of the room to where she was sitting. I introduced myself with a basic Hello, and I said my name, she said hers, I asked her if she was a foreign exchange student, what classes she took, and then she had to go to class. I think I will try sitting by this woman for my next class on Friday. I'm not feeling that she is attracted to me, but it is worth a shot.
HB 7 Mixed black and white woman(Different one haha)
I knew her from last semester, so I felt it was time for a number close. I talked to her about Portuguese, and I told her we can meet sometime if she wants, and then we exchanged numbers.
HB 6 Korean woman
I met her in the library last semester, so I approached her in my dorm lobby. She didn't recognize me at first because of the hair style change-up. I got her number, and she told me to text her mine. I did, and she replied back that we should hang out sometime. I told her we can tonight if she wants and I told her where my room was with a text, and she didn't reply. I may've messed up with this one. This girl seemed quite into me, and I couldn't resist the urge to potentially make-out with a girl in my room. I felt that since she broke communication, the 3-day rule shouldn't be in effect. Whatever happens, happens. I think I will ask her to eat supper with me at a restaraunt tomorrow.
 

Deicide

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Overweight black woman with big tits and a big ass
I was in the gameroom talking with my friend, when I noticed her. He said she had mentioned something about me and my blonde spikes, so I approached her. I told her Hello, at first, then negged her about her not liking her major classes and her card-playing skills. Within a couple minutes, I introduced my name, and she told me hers, and she hugged me. We then exchanged numbers, and I think I will ask this girl to come over to my room next week.
It snowed here so bad that school is out tomorrow, so I didn't bother calling that Korean woman, but I will do that next week. I have plans made out individually for each of my 4 useful numbers. I need to at least contact the girl with the bf to see what is going on. She seemed to be into me also.
The only negatives to these situations is that I have very little experience with kino, touching, and being close with women. I'll end up learning by the end of this semester though.
 

DJ Rasta

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powpow said:
and please God stop shopping for poontang and walmart.
Normally I would agree but walmarts in college towns are a little different than other stores cause students shop there alot. This is especially true at the start of the semester
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Deicide

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Yesterday, I approached a black woman in the cafeteria who was average and overweight, but she had big tits. I talked about general things and made her laugh a lot, and I got her number. She is a texter, so I know what to do with her.
That same day, I found out that Thai HB 7/8 had a boyfriend. I asked her what she did for the weekend, and she said "I hung out with my boyfriend".
I approached a different Korean this time. An HB 7 Korean. She has Japanese class after me in the same room for my Japanese class. I saw her outside as I was leaving class and told her Hello, and we got on the subject of languages, which ones I know, etc.. in a short 2 minute conversation. We introduced our names at the end. I'm going to keep talking to her and see what happems
 

Deicide

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Today, I hung out with that HB 6 Korean. She met me in the lobby and we talked for a few minutes before playing a game. I was touching her hand and arm for kino during the process. During one instance, I touched her hand with mine and I gently laid our hands on the table. 10-15 minutes into it, we get on the subject of a DVD or a movie to watch, and she had mentioned she liked The Simpsons earlier. So I told her we should go watch one of my The Simpsons DVD's in my room. Then she tells me her boyfriend wouldn't like that. I was disappointed because this girl seemed to be into me, and it was fun gaming her. She was laughing at a lot of the things I said. But, I will have to move on and keep approaching.
 

Deicide

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Today, I finally asked out this HB 8/9 Asian I had been wanting to ask out. I had talked to her a few times where she works at, and I asked her "Do you want to go out with me?", she said "I don't know", but we exchanged numbers anyways. This is the most attractive girl I've ever got a number from, but I have to stay calm and not be concerned with that.
 

Deicide

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Today was some good experience in field work.
HB 6 Taiwanese Girl
I started off the day early by seeing her talking in Chinese on her telephone in the library. I just waited around acting like I was reading stuff until I approached her when she was off her phone. For someone that didn't speak English well, she was very conversational, I taught her what dribble and shoot meant. haha I talked to her for about 5 minutes and then I asked if she wanted to meet again, and she seemed confused by what I said, and mentioned a boyfriend, though I pressed on exchanging numbers just to see what would happen. A rejection, but it happens.
HB 8/9 Asian petite
At the gym, I saw this girl that I had met and approached last week on a walking track. I went up to her while she was talking to two guys and gamed her. It was fun, and surprisingly easy. We talked about working out, her boxing class, the fact that she eats so much food, I negged her about being lazy, I had her laughing, it was good. I didn't number close, but I will eventually.
HB 7 Blonde.
i had met her a few times at the gym, and I was doing sit-ups by the walking track when she told me Hi while I was wearing my headphones. After she was finished running, I went up to her and started talking about working out, and I negged her about her liking the Saints. And I asked her if she wanted to meet me again sometime, and she was like "I don't know, I'm in here everyday". I'll take that as a rejection.
HB 7 Brunette
She said Hello and smiled at me, and I had talked to her at nighttime the past week. I went and approached her, and we talked about our majors, where we are from, etc... I got her phone number.
HB 8 Petite Asian
I thought she looked like a girl from the gym, so I went and approached her in the food court with that opener, and I found out she wasn't, we didn't talk much, but it was worth it anyways.
I was busy today, I've had a tiring week. But, I have work to do for next week. 4 out of my 5 numbers from Week 1 of College have boyfriends or are married. Now, I have 4 potentially useful numbers.
 

Deicide

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Yesterday was a busy day for approaching women.
I started off the morning by eating breakfast with a metal head friend. When I got up to get water I saw this attractive HB 6/7 Brunette and I told her Hi, and she told me the same thing. A few minutes later, I went and approached her and her roommate who were sitting down. The approach was going good unitl my friend decided to jump in and say "Hi, my name is X", after that, the vibe and momentum was broken, but I continued to talk to the attractive girl. I later on told him to never approach with me unless you are invited.
HB 7 Korean
I had been seeing her walking on the sidewalk on the way to class. I told her Hello, and asked what class she was coming from. I talked about our classes, where she was from, and we exchanged names, and I will have another prospect to work on now.
HB 7 Japanese
I had approached this girl last semester without getting her name, so I saw her and didn't recognize her at first, and said Hello. Then as she was leaving, I asked if she was who I thought she was, and she said yes. I followed her(maybe I shouldn't have done this haha), and talked about me taking Japanese class, though she was in a hurry, and it didn't go well. I will number close this girl eventually.
All this happened before 10 AM. Haha More to come...
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

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