Degenerate Haven's Game Recovery Journal.

[Degenerate Haven]

So I thought that I'd make this since the site is one of the few game forums still active and @Young OG had a successful run with his. I feel like in the past three or so years, my life has gone downhill when it comes to game to where I am trying to reconnect with the younger more aggressive me. I remember going out whether it was to bars or even the grocery store and not being scared to approach and make small-talk with women.

The biggest tragedy is that I was like this when I was living down in a$$backwards Georgia where the game and vibe is trash. Maybe at some point the rejections, social shaming, and being socially excluded from the cliques there slowly drained away my optimism to approaching. I didn't have that same excitement I used to for going out and talking to women.

Since then, more events would happen in my life that would make me pass up a lot of great women that came in. I had a toxic work situation with a boss and coworkers that bullied me, I got fired from my job, and the stress of work life and being on my own even led to me not being able to handle it all well.

I guess somewhere I read approaching is bad and it is all about cliques and crews so that led to me straying away from it too. Worst of all, this all happened in NYC where I was not my best self and in recent years, even before lockdowns, it's been killing me on the inside trying to bring my old self back. Then work got really bad again for me, new company and all but I got put on a team with a really toxic coworker who also determines whether or not I get to keep my job.

The situation got so bad that I gained 20 lbs during lockdowns due to coping with alcohol and junk food, no longer being the old me anymore.

But I realize that as a guy in his late 20s in NYC, I cannot let life pass me by anymore.

In recent months, I have learned to get my work-life balance back and don't work myself past the 40 hrs anymore at my job. I have slowly started to work out more and go out now that the city is open. This is almost like my fight to get back my old life and the old me that life took away in the past few years.

What I am trying to work on is getting a somewhat active workout routine going and approaching more. Updating the journal on nights I go out.

 

[Degenerate Haven]

Thursday on July 22.

So I ended up going for a run but on the way, ran into an acquaintance of mines who was in the area chatting up an older woman. I say what's up for a bit and leave him to it but then I go back on my run. Could barely finish two miles, a reminder of how much weight I have gained. After finishing, I approach him when he is by himself, almost didn't want to but I did.

We chat, go for a long walk around the riverfront and catch up on some things. Next thing I know, he crosses paths with some girls he seemed to know from somewhere and number closes. Overall a very lively guy and somewhat of a natural too. I go home to shower as he is around in the area and then we meet to go to my local watering hole, great bar. He makes small talk with one guy who was sitting there as find two seats at the bar which are next to him.

Such a natural dude, almost made me realize how that was the old me before I got all bitter over the years, oh how I long to return being that guy. We had a great conversation with the guy as I ate my dinner and then had a couple drinks.

Made my way over to a bar we were supposed to go to but there was a line, was supposed to meet a guy who I met a week ago through a friend who was in town when we went out. I met up with him at the bar and as soon as we get to the line, there is a drink minimum.

We bounce and decide to go to another bar and take a seat there. Someone brought their puppy in and everyone was all excited for it, especially the girls. I talk to this one really hot blonde who is there with her Asian friend and it is a conversation but her friend drags her away as soon as a guy approaches her friend. Definitely my first approach for the night so I am rusty. We do not make another approach that whole night.

After that, we go to a nearby bar and sit down for a couple drinks. I see girls next to me dancing to southern music, ask them if they are from the south, they say no. The uglier one is talking to me while the prettier one is not so I abandon slowly. Later on, my friend talks to this one Asian girl but her Latin friend who is kinda drunk is getting her attention. Friend kind of stops but I tell him to keep going.

Walk over to Latin girl and we chat for a bit, end up making out minutes later and I get her IG. Did not try hard enough to get her home as she said she was busy. We get pizza with the girls and call it a night after that, at least I do.

 

[Degenerate Haven]

Saturday July 24.

So thrashed right now from brunch, got wasted with a friend during that and we had a large group, took a long nap and will head out tonight to see whats up. Letting you all know if anything comes of it.

 

[Degenerate Haven]

Saturday continued.

So Saturday, I had a plan but then because of an influence from a new friend I made who happened to know an old friend of mines, I went to a house party after dinner. Even the bar we were having dinner at was a decent one with talent but I failed to approach. We agreed and go to the house party, it was already nearing midnight as we went. I catch up with an old friend in Queens but then I am talking to him for the most of the the hour. Talent was decent at the party, not great but decent enough.

I chat up this one snotty brunette who seems to be group leader, ask her if the brownies have weed in them, she gives me that weird look. No sense of humor at all.

Talk to a group of three, one Latina and two blondes, and we decide to make some small talk. All of them are from San Fran and one girl went to Berkeley, my head is already in disqualifying mode. It was a decent enough small talk but I did not go for a number or IG, should have though but it can be tough at the house party. Meanwhile, two buddies play beer pong.

Everyone wants to head to a local bar but I do not want to go out in Brooklyn. Buddy and I head to a low key bar in Manhattan but by then, city starts to close down as we near 2.

Overall, bad night with bad decions. Should have stuck to the plan and not gotten side tracked. Lesson learned.

 

[Degenerate Haven]

Wed, July 28.

Went out for a walk after a great day at work, just sat in the park taking in the views. Walked around the block and asked a girl for what time it is, she was cool about it and told me the time, great way to warm up.

Later on tried to get into my apartment building but got locked out, other girl in same situation. We make small talk but I realize she was on the phone with her friends, her name was Samantha, her friend rescued us lol. Did not go for number close, still warming up.

 

[Young OG]

So I thought that I'd make this since the site is one of the few game forums still active and @Young OG had a successful run with his. I feel like in the past three or so years, my life has gone downhill when it comes to game to where I am trying to reconnect with the younger more aggressive me. I remember going out whether it was to bars or even the grocery store and not being scared to approach and make small-talk with women.

The biggest tragedy is that I was like this when I was living down in a$$backwards Georgia where the game and vibe is trash. Maybe at some point the rejections, social shaming, and being socially excluded from the cliques there slowly drained away my optimism to approaching. I didn't have that same excitement I used to for going out and talking to women.

Since then, more events would happen in my life that would make me pass up a lot of great women that came in. I had a toxic work situation with a boss and coworkers that bullied me, I got fired from my job, and the stress of work life and being on my own even led to me not being able to handle it all well.

I guess somewhere I read approaching is bad and it is all about cliques and crews so that led to me straying away from it too. Worst of all, this all happened in NYC where I was not my best self and in recent years, even before lockdowns, it's been killing me on the inside trying to bring my old self back. Then work got really bad again for me, new company and all but I got put on a team with a really toxic coworker who also determines whether or not I get to keep my job.

The situation got so bad that I gained 20 lbs during lockdowns due to coping with alcohol and junk food, no longer being the old me anymore.

But I realize that as a guy in his late 20s in NYC, I cannot let life pass me by anymore.

In recent months, I have learned to get my work-life balance back and don't work myself past the 40 hrs anymore at my job. I have slowly started to work out more and go out now that the city is open. This is almost like my fight to get back my old life and the old me that life took away in the past few years.

What I am trying to work on is getting a somewhat active workout routine going and approaching more. Updating the journal on nights I go out.

Congrats on starting a journal. What are your goals? If you're not sure then figure them out and stick to them. Start out with ones that are obtainable and once you achieve them, then make a new list of goals. Remember this will be a long journey and things will not happen with a snap of your fingers. This journey will take time, effort, and patience.

 

[Degenerate Haven]

Congrats on starting a journal. What are your goals? If you're not sure then figure them out and stick to them. Start out with ones that are obtainable and once you achieve them, then make a new list of goals. Remember this will be a long journey and things will not happen with a snap of your fingers. This journey will take time, effort, and patience.

My goals are:

1. To get back into shape and lose body fat

2. Be able to approach women again without feeling that shame and shyness I felt from my environment as a result

3. Be able to pull a hot girl a month through cold approach, ideally daygame

 

[Young OG]

My goals are:

1. To get back into shape and lose body fat

2. Be able to approach women again without feeling that shame and shyness I felt from my environment as a result

3. Be able to pull a hot girl a month through cold approach, ideally daygame

Number 1 and 2 kind of go together. When you get into better shape, it will make you more confident and it will make you feel better about yourself. If you don't have a set gym schedule then create one and stick to it. Never miss a workout and make sure you're eating clean. Always be improving your life in every way possible. The better your life gets, the better you will feel about yourself.

If you want to pull a hot girl from daygame that can be done once again through self improvement. But, once you get in shape and do other things to improve yourself then you should be able to get girls through OLD and bars/clubs too.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

My goals are:

1. To get back into shape and lose body fat

2. Be able to approach women again without feeling that shame and shyness I felt from my environment as a result

3. Be able to pull a hot girl a month through cold approach, ideally daygame

Be vague about girls, locations, and specifics. Misc detectives. Seen dudes get wrecked over the years.

Good on you losing weight. Try IF. I swear fasting is a game changer. Lift. Look into calisthenics. YouTube fitness faq. My shoulders are bulletproof. My joints are happy and healthy from the break from iron.

Pickup is a skill game. There's clinical psychologist JBP spoke about pua. Spike about the methodology in exposure to a fear stimuli. Enough exposure desensitization kicks off. Aim to get past AA first. Seek competence. Approach everyday a handful of girls. Repeat. Test interest level. Compliance is king.

As for pulling, snl or on, and rotations; source enough. Approach more. It could be whole foods or the gas station. I'm at 5h3 gym or the park. Make your move. It's never suddenly game time. Time for your wig and fake ****ing mustaches. It's game time from go. 3 approaches a day, 21 per week. 52 weeks in a year. That's almost 1100 a year. I am saying approach more. You pull 1. That's it. Read the old MM for framework. Approach. Test for compliance. Pull or next. Repeat. Approach as if you had already beat it rotten. Every set is practice.

 

[Charm2K]

My goals are:

1. To get back into shape and lose body fat

2. Be able to approach women again without feeling that shame and shyness I felt from my environment as a result

3. Be able to pull a hot girl a month through cold approach, ideally daygame

This **** sounds like " Bridget Jones's Diary ". Please understand me, i respect that you are trying to improve but all thats matters here are digits from ladys... not how many pizza you ate or how u feel. Just get the digits and then rapport back here how it went.

 

[Degenerate Haven]

Friday July 30.

So no daygame approaches or night game approaches at all. Mainly made small talk with dudes at a bar. I'd love to bartend on top of my 9 to 5 but no luck there because bartenders told "lol good luck, you need lots of experience".

 

[Young OG]

Friday July 30.

So no daygame approaches or night game approaches at all. Mainly made small talk with dudes at a bar. I'd love to bartend on top of my 9 to 5 but no luck there because bartenders told "lol good luck, you need lots of experience".

Why didn't you approach at the bar? No women to approach?

 

[Degenerate Haven]

Why didn't you approach at the bar? No women to approach?

Surprisingly were almost none, all were with their boyfriends. Not the area or night to be going out.

 

[Young OG]

Surprisingly were almost none, all were with their boyfriends. Not the area or night to be going out.

Thur - Sat nights are best. Try to go to an area where there are lots of bars on the same street. That way you can hit multiple venues in one night. If there are bars near a university then go there. They most likely will be high volume

 

[Degenerate Haven]

Thur - Sat nights are best. Try to go to an area where there are lots of bars on the same street. That way you can hit multiple venues in one night. If there are bars near a university then go there. They most likely will be high volume

Yeah my city is still slowly reopening and my area did not seem as packed. I am in a somewhat less active part of town but it does have some decent bars, granted they function more like restaurants.

 

[Degenerate Haven]

Saturday (July 30)

Went sightseeing in the city and then hungout with a friend, we decide to go to a local rooftop. I make small talk with these three blondes visiting, don't go past that when one in the group talks to other guys in the elevator as we are heading up. Do not do any approaches since everyone seemed to be in a group.

Take a subway back and ask this blonde for directions, she was hot and friendly enough but I do not push the interaction at all.

Great way to get warmed up with daygame. Going to practice more of it.

 

[SW15]

I am in a somewhat less active part of town but it does have some decent bars, granted they function more like restaurants.

Bars that function more like restaurants are not pickup locations in most cities. It's difficult to do a meaningful approach when 2-3 women are sitting at a table waiting for food or eating.

 

[Degenerate Haven]

Bars that function more like restaurants are not pickup locations in most cities. It's difficult to do a meaningful approach when 2-3 women are sitting at a table waiting for food or eating.

That is what I am running into, trying to get out of that club scene too though so its like I am trying to find that happy medium.

 

[SW15]

That is what I am running into, trying to get out of that club scene too though so its like I am trying to find that happy medium.

On the nightlife side, the solution would be rooftop bars or quieter coccktail lounges. Mon-Thurs pickups during Happy Hour times (5-8 PM) or going out later on Sunday-Thursday nights if you don't have an 8:30 am-5:30 pm type job.

The non-bar solutions would be fitness classes (either at gyms or boutique studios), outdoor parks, outdoor walking/hiking paths, or the beach (if your city is a near one). Outdoor approaching is still the best pickup solution with the Rona fear.

 

[Degenerate Haven]

On the nightlife side, the solution would be rooftop bars or quieter coccktail lounges. Mon-Thurs pickups during Happy Hour times (5-8 PM) or going out later on Sunday-Thursday nights if you don't have an 8:30 am-5:30 pm type job.

The non-bar solutions would be fitness classes (either at gyms or boutique studios), outdoor parks, outdoor walking/hiking paths, or the beach (if your city is a near one). Outdoor approaching is still the best pickup solution with the Rona fear.

The problem with decent rooftops in NYC is that you have a long freaking wait for everything.