Youre basically over analyzing this to death.
And your living in the future, a future that hasnt even happened.
Youre not living in the present tense, and youre worrying about the outcome.
Your boundaries and preference, and wants vs needs are being stretched here.
My feeling is that if you like this woman, just work on enjoying being with her.
Part of that is having sex, and physical and emotional intimacy.
If shes not working you over placing 'demands' on you, and what not, she may very well be much more easy going and flexible than you are imagining. She may be much more pleasant company than what you may be thinking.
You are placing blocks to intimacy here, and thinking of all the 'buts' against being with her, and thinking of all her 'cons' and 'negatives'.
So this is a problem. What about her positives??
This is why our partners become essentially a mirror to who we are.
And theres not getting around this , theres only going through it.......or NOT.
Understand this though, the majority of us guys who have gone through what youre going through, or something similar, have consciousy decided to go AHEAD...or to STOP.
Many of those who have chosen to stop have retarded those coping skills and mechanisms of a healthy adult man/woman relationship, and have stayed behind. Often rationalizing thier lack of success or results, fulfillment and happiness, etc..
Why?
Because they chose not to go through that door which is uncomfortable, but it is the door towards growth and evolution.
You have to think about these behaviors and conscious choosing that you do. We ALL do.
And we have to think in terms of what if we keep choosing this avoidance mechanism, every time? What would our life look like in 20 years?
What kind of impact would that be on us, and our life, and lifestyles???
I know all these things are rushing toward you all at the same time, and the tendency is to run away from this, because it can be so overwhelming.
But you have to consider the long term consequences.
And you have to think about what will really make you happy, versus maybe, just maybe what you think will keep you 'safe' in a way.
I say let go of that stuff and dont live in the future.
Cross that bridge when you get to it.
But always stay conscsiously aware of what your boundaries are. What are your preferences ultimately at the end of the day, and what really are your Needs, versus just what you want right now, this minute.
I will always advise not to go through the avoidance mechanisms when possible. And to think in terms of how much we want something, versus maybe how much pain we want to avoid.
You will need some time to read up on some stuff to inform yourself and get proper perspective. Im sure you havent read the Book of Pook, or the DJ Bible. If so, start there.
The go to David Deida's Way of the Superior Man.
Look up Dr. Paul Dobransky's Mature Masculine Power, and Mind OS.
And David Deangelos Deep Inner Game.
Also, RSDs the Blueprint Decoded has some stuff that will address some of these things we experience. Pretty eye opening perspectives IMO.
I hope this gets you pointed in a better direction.
Good luck.
EDIT: You will have to post your age to post in the MM Forum. So if you dont want this thread moved, you may want to show your age.
