Deeper rapport

[oakraiderz2]

Yea, so i can hold a decent conversation, nothing amazing. I always have trouble getting deeper with the convo. I dont know why but i have no idea what to get deep with or how to approach it. Also, i have trouble sometimes have stuff to talk about after ive seen people a few times. I noticed one of my friends ALWAYS had something to talk about. I wanna be more like that, i feel likes its the missing piece if you will. So...any tips would be fantastico.

 

[DJ2006]

If you always want something to talk about with people, tell them funny stories about your day. If you don't have any funny storie make them up.

 

[mrRuckus]

If you always want something to talk about with people, tell them funny stories about your day. If you don't have any funny storie make them up.

Yea man no better way to endear yourself to people than by lying to them.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Yea man no better way to endear yourself to people than by lying to them.

I'm right with you mrRuckus, WTF is going on in the forum?!! More and more threads are popping up giving advice that a guy should lie to cover up for his shortcomings. Doesn't anyone want to do any real work to enhance themselves any more?

 

[penkitten]

would you like it if a woman lied to you to make herself look more appealing?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

would you like it if a woman lied to you to make herself look more appealing?

You mean if her hair, nails, face, lips and eyes were somehow enhance between the time she woke up in the morning and the time she leaves the house?

 

[niggitywiggity]

There are some good posts on bristollair.com on rapport. I think that the subject of rapport is (unfortunately) given only a cursory glance in the DJ/PU community. Perhaps someone who is well-versed could enlighten us?

 

[Mission]

The best thing you can do is learn good vocabulary so you can tell good stories. If she tells you something, lets say she likes to ski. You hit her back with a story about skiing, but don't just say, "oh i like skiing too" say, "oh i love skiing! last winter i went on a ski trip with my good friends, one night we all went hot tubbing with a 12 pack of kokanee, let me tell you, drinking in a hot tub is a bad idea! we ended up going streaking right past the dining lounge!"

Now with that you have not only told a somewhat humourous story relating to skiing, but it shows you are fun and adventurous, it and it leaves her open to tell similar stories. Btw that is an actual event that happened to me, you shouldn't lie about your stories, if it is a boring story, make it ridiculous by making stupid things sound hilarious with good words.

--Mission

 

[Hawke]

Yeah, i've got to go with what Mission said here for deepening rapport.

To add to what was said you've got to tell stories that really engage her, that she can imagine in her mind. The stories must also relate to you and seem somewhat personal, as if your giving up little secrets. That's how you really deepen rapport i think, when the other person feels let into your world and hearing things that no one else would.

Also based on some psychological principles, if you give up something secret or personal, the other person usually feels more open to doing the same. Again making them feel more open to you, feeling more of a connection and deepening the rapport more.

Just remember that what you say has to have some relation to what the other person likes or you just end up pushing them away. Well unless the story is real good... it can be quite fun sometimes to tell the most over the top stories to someone to shock them, and see that it just pulls them in closer.