"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Decoding A Phrase

wakingup

Don Juan
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Been seeing a girl for a month, 3 dates over a few weeks, then sex 3 times in one week. Last night dinner at her place with her roommates (she's 25 I'm 32). Very light on texting since we met, saving it all for in person conversation. After I got home from dinner she sent her first really gushy texts about how I'm the greatest and she's so smiley and happy when I'm around and that she's just over the moon for me. This was the first time she sent stuff like this. I reply with "someone's crushing right now".

She then texts back "Well it's probably obvious to you but if you don't feel the same that's perfectly fine too because we're all human and there are no guarantees, but I think you're great so thank you for that."


My question is, I'm curious how other people would respond to a text like this. I'm sure there will be several viewpoints.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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piranha45

Master Don Juan
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You responded with something unwitty and beta-ish. It instantly turned her off.

She was openly submitting to you. She wants you to respond with something brutish and dominant. Objectify her. "Thats a doll". "It's a good thing this girl is cute and perky". "Not now girl, master is busy".

One line of dominant acknowledgement, no more than that, no matter how much she continues to bubble over afterward. Let her stew in her emotions.
 

taiyuu_otoko

Master Don Juan
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IMO, she told you how she felt about her, and you blew her off. You made it seem like the feeling was NOT mutual.

If that was your intent, your response was fine.

How you feel about her would dictate how you should respond. At this point, it's clear she's into you so you don't need to use any strategies or tricks or anything.

Not everything is a super complicated multi-layered secret message.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
 

wakingup

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Thanks Taiyuu. I was just trying to be funny and light about it and make her sweat a bit, we just met. I like her but am still getting to know her so I didn't want to respond with "me too" and not mean it 100%. I'm recently single/divorced and while this girl is a real looker, seems to have her stuff together, and let me dominate her a few times last week in my bed, I don't want to be in a committed relationship right now, so I don't want to lead anyone on.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Wakingup,
Agree with all the above,if you want her as a keeper,then you must view every piece of correspondence as being positive...They are slaves to their fluctuating Hormones,change their moods more often than their pants...to avoid being to worried about these mood swings,avoid to much phone talk or texting and spin more plates!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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