Dealing with Verbal banter and dishing back

[enchinda9]

I've been plagued by this problem for ages and it's really starting to grate on my nerves. I have trouble coming up with insults and my wit isn't that great, so when I find myself in conversations with people who are joking around with me or teasing me, I find trouble dishing it back in an effective and equally backhanded way.

Just last week, I ran into some old high school "friends" and as much as I wished I had become better at it, after a few minutes, I felt the conversation had turned into different people just throwing jabs at me for fun, and me not quite able to keep relaxed enough to laugh it off and dish it back to them. Does anybody know any good solid way to really work at this? I'm not trying to become a master of insults or something, my inability to sustain verbal repartee just really bothers me sometimes, as it makes me dread dealing with people who always talk this way

 

[ArkhamInmate]

Why so Serious?

Have fun.

But if you think they are intentionally jabbing at you, the best way to amog back is to ignore it.

 

[kingy]

the last advice was good,

when you become really solid in "who am I?" you wont actually get these kind of jabs, people will just acknowledge that you are strong,

When its a bunch of mates teasing you or trying to put you down you can never win that. They are trying to put you down so they can feed their ego and hit "state" enabling them to feel entitled to talk to girls e.t.c.

A trick is to just ignore it and talk to girls.

People only respond to value if a tramp was to tease you, you would probably think it was funny and laugh. As it is your mates teasing you they might have more value to you so you take it personally.

If you had an endless supply of friends or knew that you can make friends easily and that you are very selective about the people you let into your life you wouldnt even care and just laugh that this plonker is insecure about something. Why would I ever make fun of someone? probably because i wasnt feel entitled or secure inmyself.

Do you get it?

So a trick to "fake it until u make it" is to laugh with it, and also pretend you can't even hear it, e.g. his value doesn't register and in turn his value will lower.

In the long-run socialise more and more with different types of people, and soon you will get to the point where you have that abundance and wont care.

 

[Deniska]

One thing that i have learned, is to laugh at it and turn the table on the person. Say; "Yes i am!" "Are you scared that i am ___?" "Would you like a hug"?

No matter what the person says about you or tells you, laugh it off. They key to confidence, is the ability to laugh at your self no matter what.

 

[Allurre]

If you can't beat them, join them.

For example, if they say, "Hey, you're so gay!"

You go... "I believe only you see that in me. Please, let's just be friends (throw hands up), I am straight."

 

[Deniska]

If you can't beat them, join them.

For example, if they say, "Hey, you're so gay!"

You go... "I believe only you see that in me. Please, let's just be friends (throw hands up), I am straight."

Here is a good come back to get them off guard if they call you gay.

"Only a true gay guy would recognize another gay guy". "How about we play 10min in heaven?" *wink* *wink* "Shot time!" "Steve wants to molest me in the closet for 10min!"

 

[Elmoshow21]

Stop trying to think of witty comebacks to validate your own EGO. Your best offense is a great defense. Instead, just disarm their comments which allows you to maintain your value and lower theirs. There are 2 attractive ways I like to do this: 1) turn the negative into a positive 2) brush off their comments and express that "I don't care" without saying it

Example: you walk up and get "hey p-u-s-s-y"

Option 1: "hey everybody likes p-u-s-s-y, thanks for the compliment"
Option 2: "hold that thought" and talk about whatever you want to

*With experience and no EGO you can make witty comments for your own enjoyment (in your own "state") without trying to validate and salvage your EGO which brings me to.......

Option 3: "yea i'm a p-u-s-s-y but you're my douche bag!"- smile, laugh, and have fun

 

[Mr CIDH]

"Oh no he wants me to be gay!!!"

 

[Ganondorf]

Just relax and have fun

I've learned this because I too was blessed with a relatively slow wit and was never quick on the draw with these sorts of things

But your mind works better when you are relaxed and confident and calm. Laugh it off and play with it

some dude try to say I was a pvssy at a party in an attempt to steal my girl, I just laughed at him because he didn't have the balls to even say it when I was in the same room, and instead acting like we were cool. so who's the real pvssy?

 

[sparkogre]

In Secrets of the Alpha Man, Carlos Xuma has a bunch of good exercises for improving humor/wit.