Dealing with this HB9..

[Alex DeLarge]

So I've made out with an HB9 a few times over the past couple of months. We've pretty much done everything except sex, BJ, and HJ.. IE: No actual sexual climax has happened.

I always get LMR from this girl (last minute resistance) when it comes time to do the deed, she told me about some traumatic sexual moments in her past with ex-boyfriends and lame sh1t like that, but I know she's horny as fvck and loves making out with me.

Now I figure that this LMR situation is just her not desiring sex from me, but that she only desires attention through kissing. This could be cause of the traumatic experiences in her past, but it could also be from no attraction. I don't take it as an insult, there are girls who I think are "attractive" enough to sleep with, but they're just not my type.. Nothing in common with them, two people from two different worlds etc..

But I can have great conversations with this girl and really relate with her. It's not one-itis, it's just that girls like her aren't so common these days.

So my plan here.. She has been calling and texting me for the past 2 weeks. I haven't been replying to her until yesterday when she freaked out on me for ignoring her. I told her "I'm not ignoring you, I've just been very busy with school work and other projects I'm working toward." She said to me "You're full of sh1t, blah blah.. You hate me (and so on)." I said back to her "Well I'm trying to do something productive with my life and achieve my dreams. If you're going to have that attitude toward me, then you don't have to talk to me anymore. Find someone who can devote more time to you." (Also, take into context we're friends that make out and fool around every now and then. Nothing serious.)

She gets all sad, I feel kind of bad for her.. Being friends it's hard to hurt someone's feelings like that. So I call her up and say to her "Hey, I'm sorry if you were hurt by what I said, but it's something that I have to do. I can't sit around (our hometown) any longer and work menial jobs, it's not me. I have to challenge myself and find a great career which challenges me. This is nothing against you. I think we should just be friends and stop kissing because it's making all of this too complicated."

She responds to me saying "But you seemed like you liked it." Then I said back to her "And you did too, but for the wrong reasons. I have to go now, goodbye."

Now, from what I see in her.. She's merely looking for attention and nothing else. She's not actually physically attracted to me, but just wants someone to kiss for when she's lonely. Again, I'm not insulted by this, but I'm not going to let myself be a tool.

How do you guys think I handled this situation? I was upfront with her, maybe it was a little bit AFC calling her up out of reaction to her sadness.. But I felt like I had to tell her why I had been ignoring her.

 

[vatoloco]

Sounds like a Professional Cocktease to me...

But something's off. My BPD spider sense tingles...

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Sounds like a Professional Cocktease to me...

But something's off. My BPD spider sense tingles...

She totally is. The only thing that sucks now, is she's telling 2 great friend of mine (Who happen to be really AFC and don't realize that she just uses them for attention) in our social circle that I was an assh0le for saying this. (When I was totally mature about it.) Now they're all pissed off at me I guess? In fact, they called my roomate to hangout (who never hangs out with them) and he told me about all of this.

.. I really don't "get" people sometimes. I'm not even sad about this girl not wanting to have sex with me, or hook up with me for that matter.. But the fact that she's trying to turn my friends against me is just completely fvcked.

 

[Sofomore]

You should have started kissing her next. Every girl gets horny when you kiss their neck and stroke their thighs.

If you are for real about being tired of it going no where, then you did the right thing. If you just did it to "game" her, probably wasnt the smartest thing.

 

[shizz702]

I think you handled it well.

Showed you are the bigger man and not afraid to walk away. You weren't feeling it and knew where it was going, it was just a matter of time before she was going to throw that friend card on the table and so you were all the better for dealing it first.

Bet she isn't used to that and is now knocked off her pedestal.

Well played brotha.

 

[Aaron B]

She has been calling and texting me for the past 2 weeks. I haven't been replying to her until yesterday when she freaked out on me for ignoring her. I told her "I'm not ignoring you, I've just been very busy with school work and other projects I'm working toward."

this is where you are supposed to playfully bust her balls, instead of going linear and logical and explaining yourself

you should almost never explain yourself to a woman, especially early on

she feels however she feels, and your words aren't going to "fix it"

women enjoy experiencing negative emotions as well as positive emotions. you got her dander up by ignoring her. when she calls you on it, that's the time to twist the dagger and heighten the feelings for her

She said to me "You're full of sh1t, blah blah.. You hate me (and so on)." I said back to her "Well I'm trying to do something productive with my life and achieve my dreams. If you're going to have that attitude toward me, then you don't have to talk to me anymore. Find someone who can devote more time to you." (Also, take into context we're friends that make out and fool around every now and then. Nothing serious.)

Everything in the beginning should be light and fun. If you can't handle these interactions without getting all linear and logical and explaining yourself, you should avoid them until you can.

 

[Von_S]

she's telling 2 great friend of mine (Who happen to be really AFC and don't realize that she just uses them for attention) in our social circle that I was an assh0le for saying this. (When I was totally mature about it.) Now they're all pissed off at me I guess? In fact, they called my roomate to hangout (who never hangs out with them) and he told me about all of this.

Your "friends" sound like a couple of spiteful little b!tches, time to get some new ones.