Dealing with playing hard-to-get

We_ArE_VeNOM

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2022
Messages
1,025
Reaction score
811
Age
39
What is Mode One?
Mode One can be described as direct verbal game.

It is to directly, boldly, and unapologetically tell a woman your plans and intentions with her.

This woman you speak of, what kind of relationship do you seek with her?

1. FUK buddies?

Tell her that's the relationship you want.

2. Friends with benefits?

Tell her that's the relationship you want.

3. Monogamous relationship?

Tell her that's the relationship you want.

Don't hide it, don't sugar coat it, don't beat around the bush.

And you live with the results.
 

sceneparade

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2017
Messages
88
Reaction score
9
Mode One can be described as direct verbal game.

It is to directly, boldly, and unapologetically tell a woman your plans and intentions with her.

This woman you speak of, what kind of relationship do you seek with her?

1. FUK buddies?

Tell her that's the relationship you want.

2. Friends with benefits?

Tell her that's the relationship you want.

3. Monogamous relationship?

Tell her that's the relationship you want.

Don't hide it, don't sugar coat it, don't beat around the bush.

And you live with the results.
So on this date to a theme park, do I be direct and tell her what I expect? If so, that is the advice my mate gave me. After third date he would directly tell her what he wants and then it continues or he ejects.
 

Redarc23

New Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2022
Messages
6
Reaction score
3
Age
36
The Mercedes chick:

I can tell you put her on the pedestal. Based on the interaction you posted you sound really timid with her, like scared of offending her. You are portraying yourself as a too goody to shoes instead of being dangerous, or evil, or vulgar, or humorous, or the naughty, etc. It sounds so boring. I would have jokingly invited her to a drag race just to take her out.

The Theme Park girl:

just focus on showing her the best time of her life. Escalate and don’t be scare of joking around but at the same time being chivalrous.
 

Pierce Manhammer

Moderator
Joined
Jun 2, 2021
Messages
4,795
Reaction score
5,814
Location
PRC
TLDR;

Responding to the OP's first post.

I've succeeded in being the opposite of what a pretty girl expects. You can still be funny, knowledgable, consistently flirtatious, and inspire confidence in a woman over the first date. You get her to consent to come to your place for a drink, dinner, the pool, sunbathing, whatever for the second done if you've succeeded in building comfort and trust.

She will expect to be escalated, but you keep everything the same, be a gracious host. You can light Kino, sit closer than before, and engage in lingering looks with her. If she's attracted, she will eventually start wondering what's up; she'll wonder if she's not turning you on, etc., because she's used to being pawed every chance. She will start moving closer, touching YOU.

She will open the door; some will kiss you - even the "good" girls, and yes, there is a continuum of "good" depending on your personal values. Then you can go for the kiss, the full-body hug, etc. This is great in dealing with LMR; at this point, anything that happens was her idea. If she's a 3-date rule girl, it moves the time frame up; sometimes you can make a move right then and there, but I don't. I'm more long-term minded and if I perceive quality, I will let her dictate the speed if all else is ok and there is some progress each meeting.

This approach has always worked for me.

Of course, it varies with your intentions for the woman, ONS, FWB, or LTR.

Just my $.02
 

BadBoy89

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2020
Messages
1,762
Reaction score
2,073
So on this date to a theme park, do I be direct and tell her what I expect?
Why did you ask her on a date if you didn’t how to act on the date? I see this often, men are so happy a woman says “yes” to a date they forget they actually have to go on the date,

Behave the same way you did to get the date.

After third date he would directly tell her what he wants and then it continues or he ejects.
Why 3rd date. Why not 2nd or 4th date?
 

sceneparade

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2017
Messages
88
Reaction score
9
The Mercedes chick:

I can tell you put her on the pedestal. Based on the interaction you posted you sound really timid with her, like scared of offending her. You are portraying yourself as a too goody to shoes instead of being dangerous, or evil, or vulgar, or humorous, or the naughty, etc. It sounds so boring. I would have jokingly invited her to a drag race just to take her out.

The Theme Park girl:

just focus on showing her the best time of her life. Escalate and don’t be scare of joking around but at the same time being chivalrous.
But face-to-face I did not need to be "dangerous" or whatever. She was showing the interest and pursuing. It went south after the text exchanges.

So how do I need to act "dangerous", "evil", "naughty" or humorously going forward?
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2022
Messages
1,025
Reaction score
811
Age
39
So on this date to a theme park, do I be direct and tell her what I expect?
Yes!! But be careful, because the idea is to cut your losses, so you don't want to invest so much with so little in return.

Let's examine the three types of relationships..

1. FUK buddies: This is a relationship where you spend zero to VERY LITTLE nonsexual time with her. You only meet with her to smash, and that's it.

Zero to very little emotional bonding and non-sexual time spent together.

2. Friends with benefits: This is a relationship where you spend both sexual and non sexual time with the woman. You smash her, take her out on dates, and overall chill with her. However, you two are NOT monogamous (not bf/gf), and you are both free to do whatever you want with whoever you want when not together.

3. Monogamous relationship: You two are together in a committed long-term relationship where you will spend both sexual and nonsexual time together.

So, I said all that to say this; identify what kind of relationship you want with her.

That is the first thing you need to decide.

And that is my question: What kind of relationship do you want with her?

If so, that is the advice my mate gave me. After third date he would directly tell her what he wants and then it continues or he ejects.
Your friend is correct in theory, but he is going about it in the wrong way.

Suppose, after he directly tells her what he wants, she gives him the "I'm sorry, but I am only interested in you as a friend" spiel.

Now he wasted time and money on two dates with no return on his investment.

He should have told her what he wanted from the beginning...and if she told him that from the beginning, he would have saved time and money if he has the mindset of "why would I take this bytch on a date when I know I'm not gonna smash".

Be upfront from the beginning and that way there is no room for misunderstandings, followed by disappointments.
 

sceneparade

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2017
Messages
88
Reaction score
9
Yes!! But be careful, because the idea is to cut your losses, so you don't want to invest so much with so little in return.

Be upfront from the beginning and that way there is no room for misunderstandings, followed by disappointments.
So how do I tell her from the beginning? Let's say I take her Thorpe Park. How would I tell her? When do I tell her?
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2022
Messages
1,025
Reaction score
811
Age
39
So how do I tell her from the beginning? Let's say I take her Thorpe Park. How would I tell her? When do I tell her?
First off, there is some preliminary stuff you have to do before you get to any of that.

And it all involves mentality.

Because..

1. You have to not care what she thinks.

2. You have to accept the fact that you may lose her for good.

3. You have to develop the ability to move on quickly if you do lose her (or any woman).

4. You have to live a life in constant pursuit of women to build a steady rotation, which will help you develop an abundance mindset.

If you are weak in any one of those 4^, then my advice will not work for you.

And if you excell at #4, then that will make 1-3 much more easier.

That being said, in my prior post to you I asked a question, which was WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DO YOU SEEK WITH HER?

Please answer that question before we get to good stuff.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
4,222
Reaction score
3,654
Imagine you have a whole slew of attractive women just waiting to suck your ****. Now interact with women without feeling so damn needy.

Seriously, you're one step away from littering her path with rose petals.
 

sceneparade

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2017
Messages
88
Reaction score
9
First off, there is some preliminary stuff you have to do before you get to any of that.

And it all involves mentality.

Because..

1. You have to not care what she thinks.

2. You have to accept the fact that you may lose her for good.

3. You have to develop the ability to move on quickly if you do lose her (or any woman).

4. You have to live a life in constant pursuit of women to build a steady rotation, which will help you develop an abundance mindset.

If you are weak in any one of those 4^, then my advice will not work for you.

And if you excell at #4, then that will make 1-3 much more easier.

That being said, in my prior post to you I asked a question, which was WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DO YOU SEEK WITH HER?

Please answer that question before we get to good stuff.
Either FWB or LTR, maybe.
 

sceneparade

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2017
Messages
88
Reaction score
9
Update.

The woman who I work with who people said seemed attention ***** or whatever. Well I have been indifferent towards her. Today she saw me and started talking to me. We were in her car and she turned her body to face me and we were talking. THEN date girl showed up and saw me talking to her. The Mercedes girl asked who she was and stuff and I just said a friend, and we are going out next week. She then replied "you better go talk to her then." So I went and talked to date girl and left her there.

Did I do right? I fear it may have ruined my chances, if any, with her now.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 29, 2020
Messages
2,818
Reaction score
2,157
Your co-workers are watching you do this, how embarrassing.

Same site, different employers still hosts the same problem as both parties being from the same employer; just because you can't overcome the professional barrier between these 2 entities doesn't mean she can't, don't kid yourself, even from a different employer she could make your life hell.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 29, 2020
Messages
2,818
Reaction score
2,157
Update.

The woman who I work with who people said seemed attention ***** or whatever. Well I have been indifferent towards her. Today she saw me and started talking to me. We were in her car and she turned her body to face me and we were talking. THEN date girl showed up and saw me talking to her. The Mercedes girl asked who she was and stuff and I just said a friend, and we are going out next week. She then replied "you better go talk to her then." So I went and talked to date girl and left her there.

Did I do right? I fear it may have ruined my chances, if any, with her now.
Step 1 of spinning plates is authenticity, even though you are spinning plates, she shouldn't be aware that you are at any point, last thing you want is some woman who isn't even genuinely interested in you lusting after you or left with a bad taste in her mouth.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
4,222
Reaction score
3,654
Did I do right? I fear it may have ruined my chances, if any, with her now.
You set the frame, you set it from the beginning. Don't cave in because she's insecure about being attractive enough.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2022
Messages
1,025
Reaction score
811
Age
39
Either FWB or LTR, maybe.
1. You have to not care what she thinks.

2. You have to accept the fact that you may lose her for good.

3. You have to develop the ability to move on quickly if you do lose her (or any woman).

4. You have to live a life in constant pursuit of women to build a steady rotation, which will help you develop an abundance mindset.

If you are weak in any one of the four above ^, then Mode One won't work for you.

Mode One ain't for beta males, and is as alpha as you can get.

So if any of those four describe you, then let's forget this conversation ever happened.
 

Learning Curve

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 7, 2023
Messages
399
Reaction score
327
Age
31
Location
Cyprus
Recently I got talking to a woman. I noticed that she became interested when I talked about my ambition, qualifications and career progress. She turned her body towards me and, at some point, put her hand on my thigh above the knee. We spoke for about an hour.

Then, I had to go meet a trainee of mine and told her I needed to go outside and wait for my trainee to come back from his driving test. She then told me she would come and wait with me. So as we were waiting for my trainee, I said something and she lightly punched me in the arm.

Later on, when we arrived at a depot, after I followed her, because she knew the way, she asked me if I was going home, to which I told her yes. She then asked me to go with her to drop her trainee off with the training manager. We then both came back down together.

On the way to our cars, I told her she had a nice car (GLE Mercedes), to which she said she had seen me in my blacked out BMW.

At this point, I asked her to put her number in my phone and and she did. She then dropped called mine so that I have hers.

In the evening, I contacted her about work-related stuff. We were texting back and forth a few times. She told me she can't believe we had not talked before except hello/goodbye on passing, as we got on well. So I told her I would have spoken sooner, but I was a little introverted. She did not respond.

The next morning, I parked up two rows behind where she was parked. As I walked towards her passenger window she wound it down to start talking to me. She then said for me to wait a moment while she reverses her car next to mine. We then spoke for a while and went to work.

I have texted her and she responds within a few minutes, but then stops just as she did the day before.

So, I need advice on what to do next? Is she playing hard-to-get or is she not interested? Do I go back to before with a hello on passing and that is it?

Thanks
Where is the:

"Let's grab drinks when you are free?" sentence in all this you are describing?

Again time-wasting chit-chatting and not getting to the point. Hence she is no responding to you after a while.
 

Bingo-Player

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 10, 2014
Messages
3,159
Reaction score
3,484
Location
uk
The others have pretty much covered everything

But for me when a woman acts wishy washy like this its usually

A) there's a more dominant male fvcking her

B) she enjoys making weak men squirm

C) You didn't do a good enough job establishing masculine / feminine polarity with her

When a female feels secure in a masculine frame she will automatically become more submissive

Its tough in the modern world to get a woman into your masculine frame as women are taught to be masculine but when you get it right she will submit
 
Top